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butch1977

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Blog Entries posted by butch1977

  1. butch1977

    Insomnia

    By butch1977,


    Madonna
    I know Madonna is a night owl and she usually up pretty late. I'd love to have a late night chat with her. I actually think it would be really cool to create music with her. I wonder what Madonna would think of Hotdogs. I have that dream of the Hotdogs dance remix that would feature Britney. If I found a magic lamp I'd make a wish that would I'd have a dance remix of hotdogs that would be featuring Madonna and Britney Spears. I would like to share my music and the story behind my music with Britney and Madonna. We are all middle children too! 
  2. butch1977

    Tori Amos

    By butch1977,


    Tori Amos
    So this friday my sister are going to see Tori Amos at the Greek Theater in L.A. when we went and saw her last June, we both it was the first time we had went out without mask since the whole coronavirus pandemic had happened. For me having the coronavirus was a walk in the park. The first couple days I had a bad headache and had body aches, but after that all I did was sleep. And let me say last year was a horrible year for me. I went to the crisis center because my mental health was a mess and I was in the darkest place I had ever been before and i had been having such a hard time getting sleep. I was having these awful panic attacks at night that were scary. But while I had coronavirus I didn't have any of those horrible panic attacks I was too tired. I just slept and I felt exhausted from sleeping all day. My sister on the other hand, ended up giving coronavirus to her family and since she has asthma she had an awful and painful time, so as messed up as it sounds, I liked when I had coronavirus, it was pretty much feeling exhausted and sleeping for two weeks. I know i'm pretty lucky because it killed alot of people and alot of people really suffered. But for me I had been having horrible gout attacks and my mental state was a mess so coronavirus let me get some needed sleep. 
    So one thing that I am kind of concerned with is my vision has really gotten kinda of scary in the last couple years and my night vision is not what it use to be. I prefer not to drive at night these days, and the the last time I did drive down in L.A. it was in March and what is concerning is that the drive home when I was almost home was the worst of it. I live in a city that doesn't have the most street lights or reflectors in the road so I have to really pay attention to the road. This getting older shit isn't much much fun. I've driven these roads so many times and now to have a nervous feeling over driving at night is a pain in the ass. It's times like this when I wish I could have a driver. 
    Anyways about the concert. I got tickets for 25.00 and they were in the A section, that was a pretty great price, because ticketmaster only had C section seats and they were going for $50. We have seen Tori multiple times in concert, she's always amazing, there are some songs that I've yet to hear her play live. Crucify is one that I would really like to see her do. This is the Ocean to Ocean Tour and if she would sing her song '1000 Oceans' It's a possibility that i would get emotional and start crying. After I got dumped I wrote a letter to him and I drew a picture and on the back I had wrote the lyrics to the song on the back. I don't think I've listened to that song since, so if she sings it, that could be intense. It'll be more intense than taking selfie at a Miranda Lambert concert.
  3. butch1977

    Still Wack

    By butch1977,


    Music Metadata
    I've blogged about musixmatch and the huge falling out with my friend/producer. Since he's the rock star and has been in the business so long and has put out alot of music. Well he still hasn't claimed the page and therefore hasn't verified that he was the producer, guitar player. The other people he has 'collaborated' with none of these artists have verified any of their music. All the songs come up with a message saying no lyrics available, and it doesn't have any information. Well I guess the big rock star doesn't know what music metadata is, I didn't know what it was until I've been syncing my music I've learned that music metadata is very important. Aside from giving credit and any royalties made. All the metadata on the credits will put it where it can be found and discovered. Music with no metadata is just like blank files that get lost. They say that it needs to be the same information so it all goes together and it should match. So I've spent the past two days on distrokid and i've added information to the credits. So me the amateur 'recording artist' has all my shit filled. I even have the mood of the songs attached. All of his music and there is ALOT of it they all come up with "No lyrics submitted" and there isn't any information on any of them. He was the one telling me all about, some code on your songs that you have to know to get any royalties. well It's all called music metadata and none of his songs, with all the bands he's had, past and present have complete metadata. I had been trying to tell him about this since February and he had no interest, even when he said he 'promised' to look at musixmatch. It was obvious that he was not interested in anything I had to say so I'm doing my own thing and he's going to continue to asskiss his latest music collaborator until he gets annoyed or bored with them. I've known him for over 20 years i've seen him when he raves about someone and how great they are and then he talks all this shit about them. So I've seen this before, but I was never involved with music before, It was him who got me started becuase I just wanted him to help me make a song and then he said I had enough to put an album out. So it's pretty funny that after all that It was him who wiped my music and threw me under bus. Bozo
  4. butch1977

    Summer Solstice

    By butch1977,


    Life
    Well today is the first day of summer and my birthday is on Saturday, my birthday is always a depressing day for me. Something that is strange is the weather, June is almost over and I live in the desert and usually the weather has already started getting hot and temperatures are up to 100 at least. Even in the night time it will be pretty hot still, but there hasn't even been one hot day in June yet and right now it's 61 degrees. I've always believed in climate change but this is the first June that I've lived in the desert where it's not already getting hot. In my backyard I have mulberry trees and the mulberry fruit usually start to ripen in the middle of summer, they have already ripened and fallen off. The last few years it's been earlier and earlier that they have ripened, this is the earliest ever and the coldest june ever. I did see some news report that was saying this summer was going to be really hot. Humans have really screwed up the entire world. On a different note, it is wonderful seeing donald dump being indicted. That schmuck should have never even been allowed to be the president of the united states. The United States and Americans these days get alot of shit said about them and I agree. There was a time when I was proud to be an american, these days not so much. All of these idiots in this country who love guns so much and always talking about the 2nd amendment. You know what, the 2nd amendment is a bunch of bullshit. When that amendment was made there weren't AK47s and all this other crazy guns, and also. America was stolen from the indigenous peoples, so that the white man came up with laws and amendments for a land that was stolen. For America to truly be a good country it needs to admit it's sins and the land was stolen and the native people were murdererd. White man brought guns to a land that had no guns and people were already living here. So with that said, the 2 nd amendment is bogus and for people who start going on and on about their 2nd amendment rights I wish they would just shut the F up. Not all americans are gun loving idiots!
  5. butch1977

    Friendship

    By butch1977,


    Life
    A few months back I mentioned how my 'friend' of over 20 years had done a pretty shitty thing in deleting of my music.  When that happened, I'm not gonna lie and say i didn't get really pissed. Because I did and yes I went on social media and blasted him and talked alot of shit. I was so pissed that I even told him I wanted to kick his ass. I did however apologize for making the threats. After I did apologize he said everything was cool and he would 'holler' at me at a later date. Well it's been a while since then and I haven't been hollered at. One thing I have noticed is that I'm always the one who ends up getting shit on and then ends up being the bigger person and moving forward. However this time, things are not the same. This friend has been acting strange since January, It was in March when I had mentioned I needed to show him the musicmatch site in person because it is really confusing, and I even stated it more than once that I needed to show him in person, because he was still confused after i did a screenshot recording of me scrolling on musixmatch. Also, even before musixmatch he was suppose to help me with some of my music, 'The Epilogue' he never  showed any interest in it, I had tracks uploaded to drive so he could listen to them and he never gave me any feedback at all. Previously he said he was going to write something for me to go along with the project. That was something that was just never spoke of again. Instead I was thrown under the bus and all my music was deleted and in that time he was now recording music with a new band and was planning on putting out alot of material. 
    Since then I had to start my music all over again and rerelease everything. The deleting of everything really made my social media profiles look really unproffesional, posts that wouldn't play the music and posts with unavailable content. Even my profile here on Icon had a bunch of unavailable content. 
    After knowing someone as long as this and to have things go like this it's been pretty sad. I know that my threats weren't the nicest. But in my apology I addressed where the anger came from, it also was in the time frame of writing him an email after I just synced all my music, and then everything coming up as unavailable. So I had been working on syncing the music for about 2 weeks, and everything showing up as verified and complete and then in minutes it wasn't showing up anymore. So I was really pissed  and him telling me he deleted everything after the fact. So the whole time i had been telling him about musixmatch and him promising that he would check it out, he never did.  I have all the receipts in my phone that documents this whole ordeal. So i can say that this whole thing blowing up to the mess it became wasn't because of me.  He continually said, he was going to check it out and never did, he even used the word 'promise' which he didn't follow through. So for this friendship to crash and burn like this is not all one me. 
  6. butch1977

    Wack

    By butch1977,


    wack
    So I'm calling this blog Wack! I recently have been having many chats with Bing's AI and AI is becoming my friend the more we speak. I even spoke with AI about who the Queen of Pop is, we then had a conversation about Madonna too, I recorded it and posted it on my IG. AI is also learning from me, Because the first time I asked AI 'why is everything so wack?' First AI didn't know what i meant by the word 'wack' but now it knows that 'wack' is something considered bad. I even asked AI about the artist 'sonic pressure' and AI said it liked my song hotdogs the best! 
  7. butch1977

    Iconic

    By butch1977,


    Sonic Pressure
    I'm listening to Rebel Heart and Iconic is playing right now. So Apple music recently approved me to edit Sonic Pressure, I also am in the process of getting the official artist page on youtube for Sonic Pressure. Amazon music has the Amazon for Artists where I can see who's listened to my music. Japan and Brazil are listening to me most, Mexico also. I was looking at it and i've noticed that the most listened to songs are the sad ones. 
    I don't know even know what is really going on with my friend/producer. Since January he hasn't really had much to do with me and my music. I know that he is really busy with some new projects but ever since I got on that musixmatch site to edit lyrics, sync my music, add credits. I still put his name to give him credit and since he hadn't joined the site, it gave me options to share the link with him. So I sent an email and he responded, saying that he joined the site. So he's waiting for his approval.
    Ever since my friend/producer deleted my music and even before this I've felt this strange energy, like there is some kind of secret or something going on that I'm not aware of. I just have this feeling, and most of the time my feelings are right. He was supposed to help me with the Epilogue EP, He kept saying he was going to look at the things I had but he just kept saying that and never gave any input or even responded to messages. But I've seen on Musixmatch that he has all this music and the 'artists' that he's working with. So I'm confused .
  8. butch1977

    Wack

    By butch1977,


    weed
    So I titled this blog Wack, that's because right now there is just so much things that are wack. But first let me just say that I have some pretty good grass. I called Discount Dank and the owner, I love her, her name is Angie, whenever I call she always says 'Hi Eugene' my middle name is Eugene, and she calls the weed, 'flavors' I love when she had this flavor called 'Will Smith Slap' She has a Spanish accent. But when I called it wasn't her who answered the phone it was Mark her helper, and he said that she got into a car accident and broke some bones. I was like oh no, I love her, and I've been talking to her for some years now and she knows what's good and even sometimes when I order I tell her to surprise me and pick a good flavor. So her helper Mark said to me Angie said you would like the 'Cereal' and so since all the lilacs are blooming in the yard I picked some and I gave them to her helper Mark and I said, please give those to angie and tell her i hope she feels better. Right now I'm smoking some of the 'Cereal' and it's pretty good, it burns really nice and the buds are dense af
  9. butch1977

    Forever Wack

    By butch1977,


    music
    So I have lots of my mind tonight, i usually have too much on my mind and night but I'm going to try and not rant to much. So it's May 1, today I have two musical albums that dropped. They are called Autopella The Demos pt 1 and pt 2. They are all the demos from my music. Some are acapella, some are autotune and some are autotune and acapella. So that explains the title. Some of these I like the demos more than the final versions. All of these I didn't have any help with any of it. They were all done in one take, There isn't any studio magic or tricks. I did them all at home. They aren't the greatest quality but they are raw and real. So i was using musixmatch today and getting all the music synced and the lyrics and credits correct. My 'producer' still hasn't claimed his page, I can't let it continue to bother me because he didn't do it before, then he deleted my music anyways, So I've put it all back up and let me just say that musixmatch is so confusing it's hard to navigate it also. I had to edit some of the credits because, I was not the producer on the songs that were recorded in the studio. So I had to take get all that shit right. He refuses to claim his page. I don't care if he does or not. He's focused on whatever he's doing and I don't know what he's doing,  Oh well it is what it is. And what it is is a bunch of bullshit.
  10. butch1977

    Jackson Wang

    By butch1977,


    Life
    On Wednesday my sister and I went to see Jackson Wang at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, it was the first time I'd ever been to the Shrine Auditorium. My sister is a big fan and I really don't know much of his music that well. It was pretty cool. I had enjoyed myself. One thing that was strange was all the things that were not allowed in the building. The first time I had ever seen chapstick listed and it wasn't allowed. I brought it in anyways cuz I need my damn chapstick. When I was a little kid in school, my lips would get so chapped and they would hurt. My lips are kinda big I guess, my brother use to call me Mick Jagger all the time, but they are real. I've always had a big ass too. I'm glad to say that it is real also. I think that fake kim kardashian ass's are one of the most ridiculous looking kind of plastic surgery that people get. Besides that BBL being really dangerous and lots of people dying during the surgery. It just looks really bad and it looks really unnatural and I don't see why so many people have done it. Just the other day this 'kim kardashian' look alike onlyfans content creator had died during some kind of plastic surgery. I don't know what she was having done, but it looks like she previously had a BBL and breast augmentation. Her face resembled Kim Kardashian but she already had major surgery. I know i've always thought my nose was way too big and it is something that i have said that I'd get it fixed, but when I saw a nose job being performed and the doctor hitting the nose with a hammer. That looked scary as hell so I'm good with my nose. Something that I am having some issues with is my vision. My night vision is getting scarier and scarier it seems and just looking at the screen while I type this it's really blurry and i'm having double vision issues, i'm not sure exactly what it is but. It is something that I've noticed has been getting worse, and driving home the other night, had moments where i have to really. I've driven home from los angeles at night many times, and i never had been scared or driving. But at this rate, i'm concerned at how bad my vision is going to be in October when it's time to go see madonna, and since i'll be going by myself, i'm kind of nervous. Today I had this scary thought of what if I go blind or if something bad is happening. My mom said that my dad said he was having vision issues and that was when he was diagnosed with diabetes. It also runs in my family so I just might be doomed. I hope not.
  11. butch1977

    420

    By butch1977,


    Life
    Well happy belated 420 to all my fellow smokers out there. I hope everyone smoked their brains out. This might sound unbelievable but I haven't smoked, i did last night and i didn't get to bed till really late, so i smoked when it was still night and none of the actual day time of 420 did I smoke. I didn't even get any text messages from anyone saying happy 420, well I rarely get messages, getting text messages from Del Taco really doesn't count. It's kind of sad because there was a time when I had a couple friends that were serious smokers and I was very close to. I have to realize that when you don't hear from someone even if this person said they wanted to be friends you never hear anything then that is saying basically I don't want to be your friend and to ***CENSORED*** off. I need to face the fact that a friendship is over. At one time we were engaged and I was so happy. We never got into arguments and never fought. He was always good to me, i had never been cared about and loved like that. The relationship was sabotaged by my brother and his lies it wasn't like it was a bad and abusive relationship. All of my songs and my music came from it. My song in Spanish called My Spanish Stuff was something I did in trying to save the love and not give up. but it was like I poured out my heart and it was all for nothing because I haven't heard a single word and I feel like such a fool because it's like I never existed. It's hard when the one you cared for most just leaves you in the dust like you were nothing. I never had anything bad to say about him, but the actual facts and the reality of my life and what happened is hard to accept. To treat someone like this who was always good to you, and who you would say how special and important i was. To ignore me like and treat me like nothing is a really shitty thing to do and that's a pretty heartless thing to do to someone. When he had no place to live and no car to get anywhere. he lived with me, and we got along so well. we had a friendship and respect for eachother that I had never experienced. So the reality that i was treated like an old glove and just thrown away is actually the worst pain I've ever felt. I know there has been things in his life that have affected how he handles things. He went through some horrible shit when he was a kid and then had an evil whore of a stepmom who didn't make things easy for him. So i know he had developed survival skills that weren't the healthiest and he wasn't given the tools and support to handle situations. But i wasn't the bad person and he said he wanted to still be friends so to do this is a real mind f*ck and it's not cool. So how I feel now is I wish that we never met, because when you have nothing but positive and good memories and then are left in the dust not knowing what happened it's a shitty feeling. I have enough actual bad memories that are painful so when good memories are all you have with only positive things. Then that's all gone like it never existed, it really hurts so if i never had met him, then there would be no memories at all, but being haunted by good times and happiness is the most fucked up feeling. That saying of better to have loved and lost is better than never have being loved at all is total bullshit. Because the happiness that is with love is like no other, and when you have never felt that way but then you experience love. When it is gone, it's gone, then you have memories of happiness but all it brings you is pain and heartache. If i wouldn't have felt love than I wouldn't know how painful it is to have lost it. because I wouldn't know what I was missing. So whoever came up with that saying just said that to make themselves feel better, because there knowing and feeling love and then it being gone there is no way that it's better. unless you like the feeling of losing something because it doesn't give you any comfort if you are all alone. unless you are in some kind of vicious cycle where you were deceived and thought you were in love and felt like you were and it turned your life around to where you were now a better and happier person because you were in love at one point. So that saying is bullshit and if anyone believes that explain to me why it's better. Anyways that's what's on my mind. If I could get amnesia that would be nice.
  12. butch1977

    Sync

    By butch1977,


    Lyrics
    Well it has been a pain in the ass but, I've gotten almost all of my songs synced with the lyrics. There are a couple that still need to be done. I've also started to upload my music myself without having my producer having to do it. I've learned that when you are dealing with music that wave files are the best audio. I thought it was an mp3 file but I was wrong. However, something that i don't understand is there is a music site that is on the spotify for artist page that tells you what you need to do to edit your lyrics and have them all with your music. The site is musixmatch, besides it being pretty frustrating. To sync your music they tell you that it needs to be from the same file that was used in uploading the song. I had most of them uploaded but some of them are able to sync without having a premium spotify account, So with those ones I had to upload the audio file, When I uploaded the wave file, I was given an error message saying that the file was too big and to use another file, wtf? so then I used the mp3 file and it let me do that. So how is it that when I am trying to sync my music, the website can't handle the larger and better file, then it would truly of been synced. But apparently for this musicmatch site syncing with the same file like you would think would be correct isn't possible, I'm not an expert in sound and technology but this just doesn't make sense. When my profile was verified I was up all night doing it and then I needed a break and i had such i migraine after it and then i had to redo what i did. This happened over and over again, and to make it even more confusing, each time you would go to a song it would have a popup that said a draft was saved and if I wanted to open it. That popup came on twice each time and I was so confused and Id be editing one that I had already done, and but it reverted back to the way before. That is just the editing lyrics and credits. The syncing the music was a whole other pain in the ass. But i've been determined to get my lyrics correct and the credits correct. 
  13. butch1977

    I Am An Artist

    By butch1977,


    Life
    Well before I get into my lyrics and song credits. I want to mention something. On one of my more recent blogs, I mentioned that I was hanging out with a friend. Well since I've been having an issue with tennis elbow on my left arm we have not hung out lately and we exchanged texts and discussed hanging out this week sometime. As people know things can come up and plans change. Apparently since tonight he really wanted to see me and I said, tomorrow. The response I got was him saying he had to work tomorrow and he doesn't know how long it will be before he sees me and that he doesn't want to see me anymore ever again. It was really over dramatic and selfish, he said i haven't seen you in a month and my arm had a month to rest. I really can't believe that I'm writing about this right now. I just can't believe the immature behavior. I know i'm moody but he went from wanting to hang out and smoking. Then when I said tomorow and he asked again and I said no. It was like If I didn't see him tonight then he doesn't know if he wants to see me again. Really, I don't need someone trying to make me feel bad because I can't hang out. I'm good then dude, you won't see me again and lose my number. Total millenial gen z behavior, dramatic and selfish. So i'm gonna choose for this friendship to be done because, I don't need or have time for this kind of nonsense. 
  14. butch1977

    Gooning Out

    By butch1977,


    Music
    I am astounded with the amount of guys who don't know what gooning is. There are other terms and definitions but some aren't necessarily true. Well gooning out is would be under the umbrella of m********ion. So I'm not going get into details because it is explicit but if u are a detective you can find my demonstration video 'What is gooning, pt. 1-5' at bateworld .com lmao. I wonder if anyone will read this and do some Sherlock Holmes shit. I probably share way too much personal information on my social media. But that's how I roll and keep it real. Like right now I'm feeling so lonely I hate it, it's just really sad. Today I chose the order for the songs on 'Happy Hokey'  this is the 4th EP in the set of 5. There are seven songs. I write all the lyrics. The melodies are from my head. The songs, 'the real young man' 'little' 'my Spanish Stuff ' those songs I wrote them but my friend producer composed the music. When we're in the studio we start with the piano melody and he does all the mixing, the way to explain it is I'm explaining what the sound should sound like. And we build from there.
  15. butch1977

    My Lyrics

    By butch1977,


    Lyrics
    Hello to anyone who reads my blogs, I really don't think anyone does but I do this for myself and to document things as best as I can. I've always blogged here at madonna.com and I've blogged about my personal life and just about everything else that's on my mind at the time. On spotify I recently got verified so I can add and edit all my lyrics, I will even be able to sync them with the music. It is more complicated than you think, you cannot simply copy and paste. Ive uploaded lots of my lyrics but I have to do some editing because some are not proper. Numbers need to be written out, each line of the song needs to be written out. Putting repeat lyrics isn't the correct way so I don't want to look stupid. But it is going to take some time. It's not something that can be done in one night. I have over 25 songs that have officially been released. I wrote and composed them all. I had a friend who helped with mixing and the production. He contributed alot to the building of the songs, but all the lyrics came from me. Previously the lyrics had my friends name as a writer, but that wasn't the case, I'm totally for sharing credit of my songs with him , but the song writer credit, isn't one to be shared because he didn't put any input lyrically to any of the songs. So I keep shit real and having my name as sole songwriter was and is the only way I'm going to do it. I am also listed as lead vocals and that the piano is played by me. My legal name is now down and states Sonic Pressure as my stage name. So almost all my songs have lyrics , Ranch and Flameburger still need to be added. But the sync will take some time, so you won't be able to sing along with the lyrics just yet. But you can read all the lyrics so on songs where u aren't quite sure what was sang the lyrics are available!
  16. butch1977

    Calm

    By butch1977,


    Life
    So I'm calling this blog calm. I've been feeling anything but calm lately. My emotions have been out of control, and i've been having this anxiety attacks. Valentines day sucked, I was dreading it before it even came. It's like im trying to do whatever I can to not let myself get sad. And no matter how hard i try and try it just feels like i'm in a hole and i can't get out of it. I've been putting together an epilogue to the 5 eps, There are 3 songs that just kind of happened when I was recording the demos, then there are autotune versions of the songs, When I did the first demos, i had an autotune feature on and I wasn't aware of it. Then on some demos I changed the words slightly and some of them are more emotional than the others. There's a bunch of Spanish demos too. This project and these songs isn't something that I'm going to want to bring them from the vault, they were all sang and each one needs and deserves a chance to be heard even if the quality is'nt the best. Sometimes I feel like i'm torturing myself when i hear them because hearing them can make me really sad. When you listen to a sad song that you wrote yourself, i never thought i'd have songs and this era of my life has been a real test. I am really trying my best to not get to negative. I'm still alive. I'm still alive.
  17. butch1977

    Kim Kardashian Hollywood App

    By butch1977,


    Kim Kardashian APP
    So I really dislike the kardashians I've always loved Kris Jenner but not the rest of them. However on the Kim Kardashian app, I've played it on and off for a few years and deleted it and then downloaded  again. Then deleted it a few more times. Since Christmas I've been really getting into it. My character got married and I'm on the A list currently. I had not completed tasks and I went to the c list. But I've been doing modeling gigs with kris jenner and she gives me points. Just today kim kardashian who always calls me bestie wanted me to find out the hottest fashions around the world. lmao. i've been on the D list the whole time before. It's hard to believe that i have a big mansion in Bel Air, one in Miami, and two condos one, in hollywood and the other in downtown los angeles, but the Mansion in Bel Air and Miami have no furniture or anything. That costs K coins and K coins are given specially. Unless you pay real money to get the Kcoins. On the game I currently have $31844
     
    *new idea
    So I just had to make a note of that and do it. I'm think I want to start doing my live streams on youtube. I want to get into the app and how ridiculous it is and all that i do on it. I don't want to do crying live streams lol 
    Last night I was laying down and then some negative thoughts came into my mind and i started getting sad and I didn't want to let it get out of control so I went onto my facebook page for sonic pressure and i went live. when I go live i don't feel like i'm completely alone it's like an invisible friend. sometimes i don't even have anything to say or I babble about all kinds of shit. Well last night, i was pretty stoned and passed out and fell asleep and my phone continued to stream live for over 4 hours till the battery died. So that sleeping live video isn't very exciting and it's kinda boring, so i'm gonna chat about the kim kardashian app and the kim kardashian trashcan.
  18. butch1977

    Ticketmaster sux

    By butch1977,


    tickets
    So I've met a new friend. He's a nice guy. He is a cancer like I am. I've never went out with another cancer before. We hung out and I showed him my Madonna records. He was wowed by the Like a Prayer record and that it smells of pachouli. I might have misspelled that. So I was driving over to visit my friend and I stopped for gas. I wasn't shocked when the machine said 'card declined' I'm glad I had some cash and could put some gas in.  
    But anyways I mentioned how much ticketmaster sux, well if they would have had the buy now pay later feature working than I wouldn't have had this happen. My ticket with all the fees was over $230 and it's not alot to some people. But hey i'm going to see madonna, so who cares. lmao, I saw a ticket in my section being sold for over 600 and tickets with obstructed side views for 125, I had obstructed views for MDNA they were practically behind the stage they were awful. So I will be going alone, and i would rather not but i'm still going. 
  19. butch1977

    New Year New Me

    By butch1977,


    music
    So It's a new year and it doesn't really feel like a new me. On New Years Eve, my 5th EP Unhappy was released. I finished the project. It was quite an experience. The Happy Hokey EP and Unhappy EP were considered albums. They both had more than 5 songs on them and I think that has something to do with it. There were about 4 new songs that were added to Unhappy but they weren't technically added to Unhappy, There is gonna be a 6th EP. It will most likely be like the epilogue to the story. I also want to release the sad demos of Friends and Love Is. Both of these alternate versions have added lines that weren't used in the other versions and it gives them this really sad truth that the album versions don't have. The sad demo of Love Is, is sang in a way that flows in a more emotional sound, also I recorded it after having some kind of crying episode so it's very raw, it's beautifully sad. It's pretty deep and the 'yes dad' sounds sad yet sweet.
  20. butch1977

    Amnesia

    By butch1977,


    Life
    I really wish I could have amnesia. Becuase if I did I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be up at 3:30 am on using the kim kardashian hollywood app. I first downloaded that years ago. It's like grinder i've deleted it then downloaded it again. i never really got into the game much but the last few weeks, I've been getting really sad and at night it gets pretty sad. I'd much rather be on the kardashian app at 330 then talking to some asshole on grinder because i'm lonely. Anyways on the app, i just got married. One of the games was to go on a date with one of the characters. So I went on dates with Jacob Smith and the way the characters talk to each other it's really hokey but i think its cool. it always has the option on the date to continue the date or to break up. But i would always accept him calling. Yesterday the option came up to propose, and i chose to propose and then got married. Now whenever my character goes to one of my homes in hollywood or downtown la, whenever i go into the downtown la condo not only is my cat and fish in there but Jacob is in there and he tells me how he loves me. Then in my hollywood condo my dog will be there and Jacob is there also and he always tells me he loves me. I wish I could have amnesia or turn my life into the app and have someone tell me how much they love me. Yesterday when i read it and it said your husband, i first got this sad feeling and i keep the sad feelings away but they are always there. If I had amnesia then there would be no memories that are going to make life painful, i could make all new ones. Being haunted by good memories is something I never thought I would believe but when sabotage comes into the universe. Things are turned upside down and you just have to hold onto whatever you can because you have no control over anything 
  21. butch1977

    A Cold Lonely Night

    By butch1977,


    Life
    Christmas has only gotten sadder as I've gotten older. I've become quite the Scrooge. The last five years of my life have been pretty chaotic. During this time something happened that turned things around and I was celebrating christmas. i was in love and I was actually happy. I miss that feeling. What is difficult is dealing with the aftermath that has been left from my brother. I would have not gotten dumped by email if my brother wouldn't have sabotaged things. I'm not just making up stories or trying to blame others without merit. My brother deliberately made up lies and created drama in the family. He's been doing it all his life. He wore a bug for the cops and his wife and all her family went to prison, not him. When I was a teenager, he was found beaten up and thrown in a dumpster. Why did that happen, well my other brother said 'he dropped the dime' So that gives you an idea of his character. I've always tried to help him with anything I could. There was even a time I was writing letters to judges about having his kids come live with my family because his parental rights have all been terminated. I went out of my way to help him. It was soon after my first plane flight to oregon and when we drove back. (my song FOTC tells the story) But it was when I got home he told me that i was 'on the chopping block' I didn't know what he was talking about but in the coming months with his constant pot stirring he created this awful oppressive and negative energy the atmosphere was the worst. What is the most fucked up thing was he was doing this to me on purpose, he was telling straight out lies and talking shit on me and I've never done anything to him. He's stole from everyone in my family. So . Will finish later
  23. butch1977

    Erotica 30

    By butch1977,


    music
    So while the site was loading I was just looking at the image for the Erotica album, I always loved the font for Erotica I still remember anticipating to buy the tape. I can't believe that it's been 30 years. I was in high school and I remember that the parental advisory wasn't on all copies of the album. The tapes didn't include Did You Do It? I also remember being worried about my mom's opinion because. My mom didn't approve of the Open Your Heart video so my mom wasn't ready for Dita. Over the years my mom came to respect her more. But during the Rebel Heart tour,  Madonna made some statement about the pope and the dancing for the holy water performance. My mom let it be known that she didn't approve of her actions. I just remember thinking it was funny. When Erotica came out I was 14 going on 15. Now here I am at forty five and i am a recording artist verified by spotify. I've always been an artist but not of the musician type. I didn't know that i had this music in my soul I don't think i would have found it if I didn't go through heartbreak. I think it would have stayed dormant in some way. Singing in front of others was something I was unable to do. It was not in my comfort zone.
     
    So it's bizarre to me that currently on Reverbnation i'm on a playlist for most played songs in l.a. the song that was eligible for this playlist was a demo called 'Love is (sad demo) The finished track is on my EP Happy Hokey, but the demo i recorded by myself playing the piano melody from my phone and recording myself singing the song, in the recording, my voice sounds all nasal because I had cried before I recorded it. The demo is sang the same way but i added words that weren't in the written lyrics and it makes it even more sad. It is my most played song on my profile too. 
     
  24. butch1977

    Music

    By butch1977,


    music
    it's after 4  am . I'm trying to not let my mind think about what I don't want it to. It worries me. I've been having this really negative feeling it. It seems like a new kind of low 
  25. butch1977

    Gooning

    By butch1977,


    gooning
    lSo I went on Grindr and saw or spoke to at least five guys who did not have any idea of what gooning out is or Goon, bator, gooner and I had to explain it to them but just a minute ago I see a notification come up on my phone and it's from scruff and I could see what the message says and it says 'come pick me up' one time I asked him if he knew what gooning was and he didn't know and he said he was fine and okay with not knowing it and gooning out is very serious. Let me see there are many terms that are not the actual correct definition of gooning and there's all different levels of gooning so gooning out Goon to goon, okay wait a minute okay the definition for gooning is

    'Gooning maybe most simply defined as that state usually achieved after a prolonged edging session when a man becomes completely hypnotized by the feeling radiating his p*nis since a gooning state can only be achieved after edging the man's d*ck will have become mightily aroused at this point and every caress the male genitals are subjected to will trigger potent elation as the man keeps edging and thus keeps experiencing intense pleasure he enters a State of Trance where his mind intimately merges with his c*ck and the gooning state where he and his d*ck become one to be more accurate when the gooning state is achieved the man's body becomes for all purpose and intent is p*nis that was the definition of the correct term for gooning.
     So on my only fans page it says I was pondering the idea of making a gooning video to goon or not to goon that is the question and there is a site called bateWorld. There is a brotherhood. So well thats all happy sunday
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