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I really wish I could have amnesia. Becuase if I did I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be up at 3:30 am on using the kim kardashian hollywood app. I first downloaded that years ago. It's like grinder i've deleted it then downloaded it again. i never really got into the game much but the last few weeks, I've been getting really sad and at night it gets pretty sad. I'd much rather be on the kardashian app at 330 then talking to some asshole on grinder because i'm lonely. Anyways on the app, i just got married. One of the games was to go on a date with one of the characters. So I went on dates with Jacob Smith and the way the characters talk to each other it's really hokey but i think its cool. it always has the option on the date to continue the date or to break up. But i would always accept him calling. Yesterday the option came up to propose, and i chose to propose and then got married. Now whenever my character goes to one of my homes in hollywood or downtown la, whenever i go into the downtown la condo not only is my cat and fish in there but Jacob is in there and he tells me how he loves me. Then in my hollywood condo my dog will be there and Jacob is there also and he always tells me he loves me. I wish I could have amnesia or turn my life into the app and have someone tell me how much they love me. Yesterday when i read it and it said your husband, i first got this sad feeling and i keep the sad feelings away but they are always there. If I had amnesia then there would be no memories that are going to make life painful, i could make all new ones. Being haunted by good memories is something I never thought I would believe but when sabotage comes into the universe. Things are turned upside down and you just have to hold onto whatever you can because you have no control over anything 


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