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Calm


butch1977

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So I'm calling this blog calm. I've been feeling anything but calm lately. My emotions have been out of control, and i've been having this anxiety attacks. Valentines day sucked, I was dreading it before it even came. It's like im trying to do whatever I can to not let myself get sad. And no matter how hard i try and try it just feels like i'm in a hole and i can't get out of it. I've been putting together an epilogue to the 5 eps, There are 3 songs that just kind of happened when I was recording the demos, then there are autotune versions of the songs, When I did the first demos, i had an autotune feature on and I wasn't aware of it. Then on some demos I changed the words slightly and some of them are more emotional than the others. There's a bunch of Spanish demos too. This project and these songs isn't something that I'm going to want to bring them from the vault, they were all sang and each one needs and deserves a chance to be heard even if the quality is'nt the best. Sometimes I feel like i'm torturing myself when i hear them because hearing them can make me really sad. When you listen to a sad song that you wrote yourself, i never thought i'd have songs and this era of my life has been a real test. I am really trying my best to not get to negative. I'm still alive. I'm still alive.

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