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butch1977

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  1. butch1977

    Forever Wack

    By butch1977,


    music
    So I have lots of my mind tonight, i usually have too much on my mind and night but I'm going to try and not rant to much. So it's May 1, today I have two musical albums that dropped. They are called Autopella The Demos pt 1 and pt 2. They are all the demos from my music. Some are acapella, some are autotune and some are autotune and acapella. So that explains the title. Some of these I like the demos more than the final versions. All of these I didn't have any help with any of it. They were all done in one take, There isn't any studio magic or tricks. I did them all at home. They aren't the greatest quality but they are raw and real. So i was using musixmatch today and getting all the music synced and the lyrics and credits correct. My 'producer' still hasn't claimed his page, I can't let it continue to bother me because he didn't do it before, then he deleted my music anyways, So I've put it all back up and let me just say that musixmatch is so confusing it's hard to navigate it also. I had to edit some of the credits because, I was not the producer on the songs that were recorded in the studio. So I had to take get all that shit right. He refuses to claim his page. I don't care if he does or not. He's focused on whatever he's doing and I don't know what he's doing,  Oh well it is what it is. And what it is is a bunch of bullshit.
  2. butch1977

    Friends

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    So I've been having a binge of highway to heaven.  I was a kid back in the 80s when it was on . IT was a great there always was a good message and it was a feel-good show today I feel really tainted I'm tired of feeling painted those so-called friends that pissed me off are oblivious. It's really frustrating to have your friends not even know that they really hurt your feelings it makes you feel really stupid like "friends what is a friend.
  3. butch1977

    Friendship

    By butch1977,


    Life
    A few months back I mentioned how my 'friend' of over 20 years had done a pretty shitty thing in deleting of my music.  When that happened, I'm not gonna lie and say i didn't get really pissed. Because I did and yes I went on social media and blasted him and talked alot of shit. I was so pissed that I even told him I wanted to kick his ass. I did however apologize for making the threats. After I did apologize he said everything was cool and he would 'holler' at me at a later date. Well it's been a while since then and I haven't been hollered at. One thing I have noticed is that I'm always the one who ends up getting shit on and then ends up being the bigger person and moving forward. However this time, things are not the same. This friend has been acting strange since January, It was in March when I had mentioned I needed to show him the musicmatch site in person because it is really confusing, and I even stated it more than once that I needed to show him in person, because he was still confused after i did a screenshot recording of me scrolling on musixmatch. Also, even before musixmatch he was suppose to help me with some of my music, 'The Epilogue' he never  showed any interest in it, I had tracks uploaded to drive so he could listen to them and he never gave me any feedback at all. Previously he said he was going to write something for me to go along with the project. That was something that was just never spoke of again. Instead I was thrown under the bus and all my music was deleted and in that time he was now recording music with a new band and was planning on putting out alot of material. 
    Since then I had to start my music all over again and rerelease everything. The deleting of everything really made my social media profiles look really unproffesional, posts that wouldn't play the music and posts with unavailable content. Even my profile here on Icon had a bunch of unavailable content. 
    After knowing someone as long as this and to have things go like this it's been pretty sad. I know that my threats weren't the nicest. But in my apology I addressed where the anger came from, it also was in the time frame of writing him an email after I just synced all my music, and then everything coming up as unavailable. So I had been working on syncing the music for about 2 weeks, and everything showing up as verified and complete and then in minutes it wasn't showing up anymore. So I was really pissed  and him telling me he deleted everything after the fact. So the whole time i had been telling him about musixmatch and him promising that he would check it out, he never did.  I have all the receipts in my phone that documents this whole ordeal. So i can say that this whole thing blowing up to the mess it became wasn't because of me.  He continually said, he was going to check it out and never did, he even used the word 'promise' which he didn't follow through. So for this friendship to crash and burn like this is not all one me. 
  4. butch1977

    Friendship Over

    By butch1977,


    Life
    So today I showed my mom that text message from my 'friend' regarding me not getting permission from her about to take her daughter to see Madonna. My mom was in a state of disbelief. I also read her follow-up response and it irritated me. I have known her for 20 years and the last 5 + she has said and done things that are pretty shitty and I accepted her lame apologies. I take medication for my bipolar and ptsd issues and when she said I needed to detox from my medication, I listened to her bullshit and how I 'took things the wrong way' then when I went through a horrible break up instead of being supportive she sent me a message that started off with 'I don't mean to be rude' 
    So my kind gesture of taking her daughter to see Madonna 'still needs to be talked about' well I don't want to speak to her and I'm going to tell her this was all a big mistake and I'm going to take back the invitation and she can tell her daughter why she's no longer invited. This was suppose to be something fun and exciting and instead ever since I got the ticket my 'friend' has made this to be something where I've felt bad. I know she didn't read my blog here because that she has made this matter out to be a mess other than a celebration. Her and her husband have taken my kindness and friendship for granted. Where else can you find someone who is going yo help you move and pack up two different houses free of charge. Instead of 'paying the Mexicans' to pull their weeds they had their fag friend who did it for free weed. I could go on an on with the favors I did and the two favors I asked of them which were denied. So yeah friendship is over. 
  5. butch1977

    Fur is not a good look.

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    I'm really saddened and disappointed seeing the new photos of madonna with fur. I don't give a flying leap if it's inspired by Marilyn Monroe. The comments about Madonna's physical appearance have been beyond cruel. All i could see was madonna with fur and it really made me sad and disappointed it actually hurts my feelings. Now at the lowest and saddest eras in my life and now i see madonna and fur. Madonna has always been there for me and right now it feels like she told me to go ***CENSORED*** myself. Madonna fur is not a good look. I never talk shit on m but promoting madame x with teasers of kim Kardashian asking madonna a question. Hold up madonna. I luv madame x and the negative comments  about how bad it was. Now wtf it looks like madonna just put the final nail in the coffin for the madame x era. Instead of giving justice to madame x and redemption for the album REMEMBER I LOVE MADAME X the album is brilliant  and i never judge madonna. But to prepare the world for the premier for madame x involves Kim Kardashian asking madonna a question. Wow just wow WOW I'm dumbfounded.  I've mentioned ive NEVER EVER SAID A NEGATIVE THING NEVER IN MY LIFE. ill do a polygraph. I always have been a true fan. But Kardashian was on snl last week joking about oj simpson. She joked about taking a stab at it. That joke is so disrespectful to a woman who was murdered and it doesn't help all the people in horrible and deadly relationships.  ANYWAYS, madonna i don't understand and I've never said ANYTHING bad about u but using kim kardashian to promote madame x is not positive, it's desperate. Kardashian is a fur hag with a sex tape. Not a good look. 
  8. butch1977

    GLEE SUX!!

    By butch1977,

    Glee is a piece of shit.
    The first episode I tried to watch however I was appalled when there was a joke about Susan Smith made. For anyone who doesn't know who she is. She is a worthless ***CENSORED*** who drown her two children by rolling her car into a lake. Then she had the audacity to go on national televison crying and pleading with the person who kidnapped her children. She also said she was carjacked by a black man. What a great story to make a joke out of. This ***CENSORED*** left her two kids both under the age of 8 in their carseats and let them die. Then it was discovered she was cheating on her husband with a man who told her he DID NOT want children. This is a horrible tragedy where a mother commits the unspeakable thing of killing her two children, her own flesh and blood.
    The children's father and entire community said at the end of the court trial that there was no justice for these little boys.
    Let's make a joke about it, doesn't that sound like a good joke.
    I was so disgusted and shocked that a television show would sink to a new level of shame that this was a joke. I wrote to FOX studio or whoever the ***CENSORED*** is in charge. And guess what. I didn't recieve no response, acknowledgement of any kind, Not even an email that told me to go ***CENSORED*** myself.
    So that is why Glee Sux and is a piece of shit and could get raped in the ass for all I care. Oh yeah another great thing is on the new commercial that ***CENSORED*** making the comment. "i have a rape whistle" I'm sure everyone who's been raped just busts up laughing. Let me say that I lost my virginity by rape in 2000 I was 22. After that life, and my very sould was fucked. Something horrible soon after I met a guy who became my first boyfriend with my issues, letting someone in the backdoor was not just getting plowed but gave me major issues, So the way he got me was by drugging me and then fucked me up the ass. I guess that was a way to ***CENSORED*** me, this was followed by tears chaos, however I have a scar on my right hand where I punched that faggot out. And then the kicker of the story was this queer had aids and there was a chance that he could of gave that to me. Since his philosophy was "he didn't want to make love to a piece of rubber" So drugged, raped in the ass, Then the ordeal and fear of me having it. Going to get an aids test and the feeling of fear that I can't even described.
    ON a good note, the test was negative and coming to realize that life ain't all honkey dorey.  
    So i know alot about ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder), depression, severe depression, anxiety, crazy behavior, anger, hate, rage, therapy, psychotherapy, doctors, quacks, assholes, etc.  sadness, get the picture. But hey I'm still here and i do my best to be a good person.
    So that is why Glee made me want to vomit, then hearing my favorite song, Ray Of Light played was an insult, it also made me reminisce about my wonderful experience.
    So let's hear it for the #1 show in America. I sure am proud to be an american. Well I use to.
    ***CENSORED*** Glee right in the Ass.
    Love always,
    buzz or butch1977
  9. butch1977

    Goodbye Felecia

    By butch1977,


    Fake Friends
    Well I was watching Lizzo's Big Grrrls, I'm never been into Lizzo, I really didn't have any opinion about her but this scandal with her dancers and the sexual harrassment is pretty shocking. The banana thing is pretty disturbing, what I found just as disturbing was footage of Lizzo doing some interview and she was talking about wanting to go to that club in Amsterdam where they do that banana thing, and she was so excited talking about it and that did not look good and then there was when she thought that her postmates delivery person 'stole' her food and she put put this chick on blast and posted her name and her photo on twitter and she said she was lucky she 'didn't fight anymore' YIKES is all I have to say.
    So the title of this blog 'Goodbye Felecia' isn't aimed at Lizzo, it is at my 'former friend/producer' I've wrote about this whole matter regarding him deleting my music and musixmatch. He was also the person who I came out to and a friend for over 20 years. I even took him to see the Rebel Heart tour. So when Madonna was in the hospital and he didn't send me any message talking about her. In the last 7 months I have gotten 3 messages, there has been some emails but. But the messages were regarding trump getting indicted and Fran Drescher's speech. But the last text message he sent, he said he was gonna stop by and hang out and tell me about 'spilled tea' My niece was having her birthday party and he had brought his daughter for the party, but then came back and picked her up and the pinata hadn't been smashed nor had the birthday cake been done. Then my sister asks me if he was coming back, I said I had no clue, she then proceeds to tell me what he was talking about. It was about one of his band member's moving and that his wife had cheated on him and he was devastated, she also mentioned that something about 'cosplay' was involved. I know this person he's talking about and i've heard him talking alot of shit about him many times. So I wasn't surprised at all. It also didn't surprise me that he didn't send me  message back and say that he wasn't going to come over and hang out. He's a bunch of hot air. But I thought to myself, that I doubt his friend who's 'devastated' would appreciate him talking about his personal business like it's a big joke. We've been friends so long and I've been there when he makes new friends or when he's kissing people's ass, then i've been there when he is no longer kissing their ass and is talking a bunch of shit. I never thought this before but I bet he's probably talked shit on me behind my back. I also think now, especially with how he put his name as the songwriter on all of my songs that he would probably steal my songs. I don't know how many times he said I should come to the band rehearsing, but it was all talk because they all came and went and he never informed me on when to come. Like I've said, I wrote all my songs myself, nobody else participated in writing them. I've done the uploading of songs and the steps are pretty clear. On musixmatch his profile for his music is still not verified, because on all my music all the songs that he worked on I've made sure that I properly have given credit to him, even though his behavior and loyalty are pretty lousy. But I just don't lie, so he has the producer credit for all the songs that he did. I even gave him credit for the bell in 'little' 
    It's funny how he's the musician but all of his music has incomplete or incorrect music metadata, I'm trying to get all mine correct. All of my music I've uploaded the lyrics and I've translated all my songs into Spanish as well, on musixmatch he has like 3 different names he's put music under and multiple bands and all of the music from all his endeavors have no lyrics and no credit information. I'm talking totally blank! So it doesn't really make sense and it definitely isn't helping his music. I've known this motherfucker for over 20 years and it was last year when it was my day for early studio time that I knew something was going on. When my studio session was cut short because he had an appointment to get his haircut. I was like what is going on. I also suspect that he might be on something. He's always been a selfish person and he's always thought he was the hottest shit on earth but. There is something going on. And after this last deal with his message and hanging out and then he doesn't. I'm not interested anymore, I think this friendship has run it's course. I'm not going to beg someone to talk to me or hang out with me. I don't care if he joins musixmatch, he wiped my music and threw me under the bus and left me in the dust. We were supposed to be making music, but he's making music with new bands, and old bands. I have a new song coming out on August 5, 'Lee's Song' it's a demo, and it doesn't have the lyrics in it. Earlier this month I released some demo's of Lee's Song, was born on the ukelele but on the piano it's dramatic and silly. So this demo has one of my favorite piano demo and the ukelele mixed in. I don't have the computer programs and the music studio like he has. (Note: I helped build the studio with his father) His Dad was a good guy, one of the coolest people I ever met. One of the last times I was in the studio, there was this piece of art his Dad had made and it was underneath some boxes and it was all dusty. I would of been displaying it, he was embarrassed or it. It also didn't have a dollar value. 
  10. butch1977

    Goodbye Felecia

    By butch1977,

    Well I'm able to post on Facebook but I'm being threatened with suspension for 30 days if I violste the terms. Facebook is bullshit. It's depressing and too much drama at least. Here on Icon it's a ghost town.
  11. butch1977

    Gooning

    By butch1977,


    gooning
    lSo I went on Grindr and saw or spoke to at least five guys who did not have any idea of what gooning out is or Goon, bator, gooner and I had to explain it to them but just a minute ago I see a notification come up on my phone and it's from scruff and I could see what the message says and it says 'come pick me up' one time I asked him if he knew what gooning was and he didn't know and he said he was fine and okay with not knowing it and gooning out is very serious. Let me see there are many terms that are not the actual correct definition of gooning and there's all different levels of gooning so gooning out Goon to goon, okay wait a minute okay the definition for gooning is

    'Gooning maybe most simply defined as that state usually achieved after a prolonged edging session when a man becomes completely hypnotized by the feeling radiating his p*nis since a gooning state can only be achieved after edging the man's d*ck will have become mightily aroused at this point and every caress the male genitals are subjected to will trigger potent elation as the man keeps edging and thus keeps experiencing intense pleasure he enters a State of Trance where his mind intimately merges with his c*ck and the gooning state where he and his d*ck become one to be more accurate when the gooning state is achieved the man's body becomes for all purpose and intent is p*nis that was the definition of the correct term for gooning.
     So on my only fans page it says I was pondering the idea of making a gooning video to goon or not to goon that is the question and there is a site called bateWorld. There is a brotherhood. So well thats all happy sunday
  12. butch1977

    Gooning Out

    By butch1977,


    Music
    I am astounded with the amount of guys who don't know what gooning is. There are other terms and definitions but some aren't necessarily true. Well gooning out is would be under the umbrella of m********ion. So I'm not going get into details because it is explicit but if u are a detective you can find my demonstration video 'What is gooning, pt. 1-5' at bateworld .com lmao. I wonder if anyone will read this and do some Sherlock Holmes shit. I probably share way too much personal information on my social media. But that's how I roll and keep it real. Like right now I'm feeling so lonely I hate it, it's just really sad. Today I chose the order for the songs on 'Happy Hokey'  this is the 4th EP in the set of 5. There are seven songs. I write all the lyrics. The melodies are from my head. The songs, 'the real young man' 'little' 'my Spanish Stuff ' those songs I wrote them but my friend producer composed the music. When we're in the studio we start with the piano melody and he does all the mixing, the way to explain it is I'm explaining what the sound should sound like. And we build from there.
  13. butch1977

    grammys=bs

    By butch1977,

    mj   it's july 31, 2010, it's so tainted, i just think about 2019. I can't wait, This is It came on dvd on tuesday, me mum picked it up for me. she is awesome. i was'nt able to take my mum to see it on the bigscreen. however, i made a whole blog jazz about my crew and i going to see This is It special preview, the day that jenny lo got to see it! We were all up in that *itch. I was sporting a really bomb Michael shirt and my whole crew, me sista and 'friend' and her children, we all looked really off the chain, bruce, 9, and emma ,11, had their special gear on with honoring the one and only michael jackson!
    For emma's birthday i took her to see madonna in vegas for the sticky and sweet tour, and my sis. Anyhow, you feel me, so it was amazing, while we were on the way i felt like was going to see him in concert, but how emotional it was be, there was this energy, we all sat in the third row smack down in the center, nobody was in front, it was the bomb, when he did earthsong and spoke of the planet, i was glad i brought my spongebob rag cuz i couldn't help but crying my eyes out.   Oh Hell no, i hope the grammys get Raped, if that offended you, i don't apologize.
    xoxo   i'm watching this bullshit with my mom and i'm ready to vomit, not even a mention of the king and it should have been dedicated and showing true talent. In the same arena where Michael was going to do things that have never been done, where it was the biggest LED screen ever, a scale size bulldozer, and so much more, and with a message to do good things and save our planet which is dying and things that I would call Saintly, instead we see stacy ferguson who has been trying to be big since kids incorporated and all those other jokes she tried to be in, and she is being censored for cussing. The staples center where Michael danced one last time, June 24, which happened to be my birthday and they have the nerve not to mention that a man who has prisoners and millions of people trying to dance like him and it is'nt even mentioned, well i guess i have to wait till the end. Remember how i said, when at the mtv awards where Michael defined videos and created Short Films. The first thing that happened was Madonna walking out and giving Michael Jackson thanks to his musical and more contributions to the world. That's right. Madonna Rulz and Michael Jackson Rock and Roll Hall of Famers to boot, are the real deal.   i apolgize for something though, this letter i'm typing is really hard to follow cuz i jump from one thing to the next, i guess it's as this show progresses the more ill i feel. Michael made the world a better place and was committed to it.beyonce a standing ovation, a thank you to Michael should have been mentioned she did have a great group where her father kicked out members of the group who had been in since childhood outstanding performance by the crystal meth selling pink. 50 sold out shows, with thousands in cue to get tickets. i'm just appalled, this is astounding to me. Then the nobodies with unoriginal songs but hey taylor swift wrote every song on her album, carrie underwood, all this american idol crap, i guess have talent, that has paula abdul judging people where a fan who she ragged on to kill herself and where humiliating people is the goal. i watched This is It yesterday with my best friend and we were in tears, Michael being gone has been a tragedy for the world. It is a joke that this razzys or grammys have the audacity to put on this bs. when i was in second grade, we are the world was where i had to make a difference. i also donated to the Haiti children and it left me with a whopping 2.19 since balance in my account was irrelevant.   On 4th of july i registered to attend Michael's memorial where Mooriah butchered a song the young King touched millions. So all 8 of my email addresses didn't get chose. I went to Madonna.com and saw that Madonna dedicated her show to him and this was days after he had passed away. She was showing love and support and honor and dedicated Give it 2 Me to the King of Pop, came out and gave a beautiful dedication and told it like it is. Another amazing talented artist showing what another fellow human and artist gave to humanity.   So these bs awards have been on 50 minutes and still no mention other than the announcer saying coming up next his name. Not a word of grammy winner Madonna who just completed her record breaking tour. The highest grossing tour of a solo artist. EVER, who also was going through sadness herself. To keep going on while going through a divorce, whom also dedicated a beautiful tribute for her encore. Not a mention of Madonna or Michael Jackson.
    oh please.   so thats why i hope the grammy's get raped in the ass. i do apologize that is not something nice to say and michael would probably be appalled by that remark.In my 32 years, i've learned that the world doesn't think like i did that people and the system were all good and not corrupt. that i've spiraled and soul searched that maybe i have to learn how to forgive, but than i think that is why jesus christ was a savior who saved our souls from the lake of fire and brimstone, so maybe that is something i should learn to do. Then i think that is why Jesus is another king, and i say that is why i'm just me cuz Jesus forgives and i'm too pissed off. Forgiveness is a key to the answer and to ask Jesus for help, I know he will forgive all the people that deserve to go in old sparky.i'm watching this bullshit with my mom and i'm ready to vomit, not even a mention of the king and it should have been dedicated and showing true talent. pink a legend, i don't think so, a tweeker and a bd. without a doubt, beyonce? who called tina turner the queen of soul. opening with lady gaga. imma bout to blow chunks.Not only did our queen be recognized and finally awarded with the masterpiece Ray Of Light.   The grammy's lowercase, where the final rehearsal was performed, I was disgusted that it opened without even mentioning the 13 time Grammy winner the King of Pop. we get to hear about the other legendary performers like lady gaga an...d her 5 grammy not to mention having the first single ever to debut at #1. The Guiness book of how many charities he was involved.This bozo who is the mc or whatever host, i don't know who he is to boot, he mentions pink, taylor swift, and other talentless trash. this host also joked about Glee the show that made jokes of susan smith who drown her children and said it was a black man who did it.
    This is just sad. If there was no michael these people wouldn't exist, the grammys would'nt be known as the highest honor. He is and will always be the King of Pop. A king for humanity.
    Long Live the King!   Ok, i'm done, it must be the sonic pressure!
  15. butch1977

    Grinder sux

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    So i was on that grinder bullshit a few minutes ago. I go on there to actually chat I'm not trying to get laid. My ho days are long gone.  I  really dislike having a profile. I feel like such a loser. I know it's a big joke to make fun of it but in the whole scheme of it all it's really sad.  I'm  all alone except my cats are here. But  'Latinbooty'  just tapped me and said hello and sent a picture of his ass. Since he said hello before the picture of the ass. U would be shocked  the amount of guys who start the conversation with  an ass pic. 'Hole shots' are the worst.  Since he said hello  and asked how i was doing,  i told him he had a nice ass,  i was just trying to be polite. Then he sent more ass pics. Then the stalkings and garter belts...... i don't like this. Era of my life. It is the shittiest on record.
  16. butch1977

    Happy 2010

    By butch1977,

    Well it's a new year, let me just say I hope this year is better than my last 10 years. On new years eve it marked a grim anniversary for me. I met a total douche New Years eve of 99. That douche supplied my past 10 years of sadness, depression, pain, ptsd, and then some. The loser i met was my first real relationship and the worst experience of my life. Since then I've spiraled out of control, my views of everything changed. I had major issues with intimacy and this person knew of them. In order to get what he wanted out of me, I was drugged and then raped. So since then I've seen shrinks many different ones and some whom made things worse. I did psychotherapy two Christmas's ago and that brought everything back and sent me into a major spiral. I wrote some really personal blogs on myspace, it was during my therapy and I was breaking my silence in a way. Maybe one day I might post them on here.
    So if anyone sees any of my videos and they think that I'm making a joke of rape, believe me, I'm not making a joke. It took me years to come to even get myself to say the word rape. The more it is said and talked about that brings attention to the whole subject.
    Well I just wanted to say Happy New Year and I ended up goin on something else.
    To anyone who has ever been taken advantage of or been abused; Stay strong and keep your head up. You are a great person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
    **Also blasting Madonna's music helps you get through tough points in life. When you blast a Madonna song, the tears can be eased by the need to get up and dance.

    xoxo
    b
  17. butch1977

    Happy March 2015

    By butch1977,

    So 9 more days till Rebel Heart. I have seen tour gossip on instagram and the problematic madonna app. I always wait 5o hear it directly from Madonna's camp. Since Icon is her official fan club. I will believe it when I see it here. However it seems like these days stub hub is aware of ticket sales before ticketmaster. For example when the Mdna tour was announced. Stub hub had tickets available before. Even before the legacy preales happened. But hey that's the world we live in.
  18. butch1977

    Home Again

    By butch1977,

    Well I'm back home in California, it was so nice to see my husband. Oregon is a really beautiful state it's so green. I knew it was going to be emotional and I was right. When the plane took off I was in tears. Wearing a mask and crying while saying goodbye to loved ones is a drag!
  19. butch1977

    HOTDOGS

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    I should be happy and excited about Hot Dogs coming out on Sunday it's the first time I will be putting out a song my own song that I wrote by myself and the piano is myself also but right now I just am really sad and in a deep depression again and I hate it I hate feeling so lonely and going on these f****** apps just make you realize that you are completely alone and no one cares and just being on that thing just makes that even more in your face so going on f****** Grindr because you're feeling sad and lonely it's going to make you feel even sadder and even lonelier and I can't take it anymore I really am sick of it so I am coming on and writing a Blog about hot dogs because I'm feeling really sad and if I don't think of something else or do something else I didn't get even sadder and I don't feel like f****** crying in bed against it's just too much I just going to put on Here's Lucy and hopefully not have any nightmares was last night and the night before I've had really awful nightmares the one today I woke up in a likes Panic State all sweaty and and just scared and I hate having these night terrors state I hadn't had one in a few months I haven't had any but just the last weaker so bad dreams and bad dreams and bad dreams and I hate it so I'm trying to take some bong rips and relax my mind but I've said it before getting stoned by myself now isn't fun anymore either it's just lonely and being alone is is tough it's very tough and difficult for me these days I have to sneeze I just sneezed I'm using the text microphone so I don't have to be using the keypad so there might be some errors somewhat but errors but I really don't care I don't even know I'd I just and really tired of it so let me talk about hot dogs instead it's going to be available on all platforms and I am will be known as Sonic pressure the artist and independent artist but my song will be available this Sunday February 6th at 6 a.m. and it's a it's exciting but it's like it's exciting for about me and that's it no one else really gives a s*** so that's like kind of sad but I should be used to it because things always turn out bad it's sad but it's true but it would really be great if my song blew up and because it's pretty cool and it sounds cool but if it do you know really gif it turned into a hit and I'm like I became like known for music wouldn't that be interesting cuz I have a whole bunch of s*** that I have written that original s*** it's not this crap like I love you to Infinity that's ridiculous these other songs in this crap of today but I know if I if I knew someone in like the music business here that a big record label giving me exposure than I know it would blow up because there'd be the exposure cuz these other assholes that blow up it's because they're stuck in your face Kanye West he's no one wants to hear his mouth all of it all of his crap is just annoying and if Madonna is ever reading these like the blog that some of the people on here on icon have left then I'm if she wanted a new sound something that no one's ever heard then she she would want to collaborate with me because no one has ever heard anything like me so of that that would be something good.
  21. butch1977

    Hotdogs! and 4:20 am

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    Merry Christmas so I can have some updates to to everything I'm really high as a kite right now and so this might not make sense but my new single my first single ever hot dogs is going to be coming out out soon buy whole album was not planned it was some sonnets and poems Shakespearean sonnets to be correct and somehow it. Has ended with our kind came to me singing or speaking whatever I don't know how to explain it but I've really been kind of sad and today has been I'm pretty sad but I've kept it together and it's 4:08 a.m. so it's a new day and I just smoked big blunt that was really decent I'm trying to remain calm and not start to panic because I've been panicking a lot lately and it's very disturbing and it's scaring me kind of but the song Hot Dogs my producer is telling me to have the album art artwork ready and it's coming along but she originally said that my album was going to be up before Halloween and and Halloween was months ago but it's just a little strange that in other words over Christmas I was having a bad gout attack and I was walking around with my cane like Selma Blair but it really hurt thank goodness it's going away but it's not good and I think I'm going through an episode of mania because I'm I don't know how to just describe it but it's nothing more than all over the place it's like today I was watching a hummingbird feeder and I had filled all of them today I made new hummingbird food but I was sitting in my car getting stoned and I was just staring off into will not staring off into space just looking atla cast the front door to the house and just thinking all this sad stuff end like not being able to snap out of it it was I know I hated it it was really awful and I never I always could do you like Nat and just get up and wipe all that s*** off I've been really sad being all alone at 4:15 a.m. is really sad I used to not give a s*** but now lonely this in the silence it's almost dead deafening did you hear that did anyone stomach just Rumble I just had the classic you're wondering where that came from I am doing I don't know what it's called speaking and it's like writing everything out I know it has a word but so that's why it's if you're reading this is like like whoa whoa whoa whoa but it's easier to do this then really stoned and crying that type this little device and it takes a long ass time so doing it like this is way easier I tried and like before it posts or I put it on I like to proofread bike on God damn Instagram the way it's set up if you go back and you want it edit your post where the cursor is is that on the on the page you have to scroll up or scroll down and then when you pillow letter it goes all the way back up to the it's just as this weird thing so it's editing picture is not like it was before before I think it is that was done on in more other news it's 4:18 a.m. it's almost 4:20 a.m. and I was just going to mention Simon by completely forgot what I was getting at anyways just chairs made this weird sound that I'm sitting on it sounds funny it's f****** cold let me see it's a f****** 30-something degrees I had my blankies on it's little heater that's not working very well it's 4:19 a.m. damn I am so damn stone oh that's why I was going to I didn't know I was going to talk about my only fans page and no it's not what your what anyone's thinking of what that it was summer time I wanted to do Stephon the yard and all that and work on my tan and content like that my scar from that surgery ended up getting all jacked up so I had to wear a shirt so it didn't get more messed up so there went that influencer part about the tan B so it is now 4:20 a.m.
  22. butch1977

    Huhhhhh

    By butch1977,

    I missed the icon contest. Lmfao. I have a bunch of flip a gram magazines. And the contest was for legacy members. There was my chance lmao.
  23. butch1977

    I Am An Artist

    By butch1977,


    Life
    Well before I get into my lyrics and song credits. I want to mention something. On one of my more recent blogs, I mentioned that I was hanging out with a friend. Well since I've been having an issue with tennis elbow on my left arm we have not hung out lately and we exchanged texts and discussed hanging out this week sometime. As people know things can come up and plans change. Apparently since tonight he really wanted to see me and I said, tomorrow. The response I got was him saying he had to work tomorrow and he doesn't know how long it will be before he sees me and that he doesn't want to see me anymore ever again. It was really over dramatic and selfish, he said i haven't seen you in a month and my arm had a month to rest. I really can't believe that I'm writing about this right now. I just can't believe the immature behavior. I know i'm moody but he went from wanting to hang out and smoking. Then when I said tomorow and he asked again and I said no. It was like If I didn't see him tonight then he doesn't know if he wants to see me again. Really, I don't need someone trying to make me feel bad because I can't hang out. I'm good then dude, you won't see me again and lose my number. Total millenial gen z behavior, dramatic and selfish. So i'm gonna choose for this friendship to be done because, I don't need or have time for this kind of nonsense. 
  25. butch1977

    I'M BACK!

    By butch1977,

    I haven't logged on in ages. Due to last year being the worst year of my life, That will be another blog.
     
    I wish Icon wouldn't have changed everything over and over. A few years ago, it was really awesome, u could upload pictures, videos, blogs, and all that jazz. Then after Hard Candy the website was revamped or some jazz. Everything everyone had uploaded, was gone and a blank slate, all friends gone, and nothing was like it use to. Also, i didn't get to ***CENSORED*** about how corrupt ticketmaster is and the problem i had with the tickets to mdna and being a legacy member. When i saw sticky and sweet the seats i had were awesome! There was alot of hype and publicity for the tour. I was so excited about the superbowl as most of the world, It was amazing and i had tears in my eyes, (also I had the flu and felt tainted.)The MDNA tour dates and tickets were announced faster than. I live about 100 miles or so from l.a. I missed the presales for the los angeles shows, So I was going to get tickets for vegas. The day they went on sale being a LEGACY member u get to buy your tickets before ANYONE ELSE an hour before. I was going to buy 4 tickets and I put in the code and searched for tickets. I WAS NOT ABLE TO change the ticket choices, It only would let me select the most expensive tickets, In this economy I was going to have to do my hustle lmao. I tried over and hour and was hoping everything was gonna work out. Well I got f**ked, I tried to contact ticketmaster and there is no livechat help or anything. What kind of business treats their customers like that. Well probably many but that's not my point. I NEEDED 2 tickets. I ended up getting my tickets at stubhub for the staples center (bad place for a concert) I paid over 100.00 for tickets and I was PRACTICALLY BEHIND THE STAGE, I can't even believe that they sell tickets behind the stage, It was also a limited view! The sound system at staples center was bad, the acoustics and all that jazz don't work. When M has been at THE FORUM it was the bomb. I didn't see when MDNA made her grand entrance, i was trying to look at the back of screens to find her. BUT STILL i was going crazy and loving it. The l.a crowd are such deadbeat, unoriginal wannabes. i was one of those people in the back behind the stage dancing and having a blast. Unlike the floor seats and u see people just standing there! bozos. Anyhow, Then THEY RAN OUT OF PROGRAMS! and the staples center staff suck! I'm a bloody legacy member of icon and I was behind the stage with overpriced bad seats. I still luv it and have a whole blog i'll write about the mdna show, my view from behind. lmao,
    Another side note, On stubhub there was ticket packages available that they were selling for vegasshows that were not suppose to be available unless you were an icon member and had a passcode. How does stubhub have tickets for sale even before they were available to icon and icon legacy members. That sounds crooked. I keep mentioning legacy member cuz, that has always been a special deal and got exclusive things. So yeah stubhub sucks.
     
    Luv MDNA!
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