butch1977

Dearest Diary I've been feeling really sad lately, last week one of my cat's 'Kitten' passed away she had been sick and we were giving her medicine but it didn't help. in 2008 our cat 'White Eye' who was 18 and born at my house, since he passed away she just was never the same and her health deteriorated. i love my animals with my being so it's rough you feel me. THIS morning i had meltdown before i got out of bed. it was darksided. So I had my appt. with my shrink Dr. Payne, yes pain, isn't that a scream. Anyhow it was ok. Anyhow, Ray of Light has been a song that saved my life, as hokey as it sounds, when it came out there was a family crisis where i ended up posting missing signs with my younger sister Mary on them and was asking people if they had seen her. She disappeared on them in Venice beach, i was life was chaotic, anyhow i would blast ray of light constantly cuz it makes you feel good and gives hope. Last month my cousin passed away, a my other sister and i had a huge falling out and shit I've been blasting RAy of Light alot, When I was driving to my dr appt. 'Into the Groove' was on coast 103 i blasted it whilst driving my car. On the way home i needed to buy thistle seed for my finch friends and candy. When i got back in my car, Ray of Light was on, i never have heard it on the radio, i was real excited and it felt like it was a light was turned on, as i was at a red light i looked at the sign that was right on the median it said, 'One Way' and it was the way i was going, and that was forward. when i saw it I just thought MDOLLA RULZ, i love her, she has helped me in this life on this planet. I know that i have to keep going and i can't go back, if i would it would be like i was nicole richie driving on the wrong side of the freeway, It was just another reason of how MDOLLA, her music is amazing and she is truly an amazing artist. So When you are feeling blue, when you are blasting 'quicker than a ray of light i'm flying' it makes your soul dance. Madonna Madonna Madonna

So I am blasting Oksana! I love her, I know Mel Gibson said her failed music career. However I love her music. I'm listening to Beautiful Heartache! It is the bomb!

Dear diary, Yesterday was my birthday it was very tight. i turned 18 and i wanted a bunch of confetti on my face. Today one year ago, Michael went home to Jesus. Last night i created a piece of art, i used my watercolors and some others. I painted a heart and in the heart it said. It had to be about love and not make you too sad, so when you see something that Rulz is the real deal. It doesn't need explanation. 'Michael Jackson Rulz' On the back of the painting my family all signed it and a special note to Michael. At Forest Lawn, it was pretty sad, i'm not a big fan of death and all that jazz. However the place was huge, we left pretty early and there was a shitload of News Crews, there was even a goddamned helicopter hovering the cemetery and let me say they were having funerals there too. I bet the family loved that. We drove through the front gates and drove through the huge beautiful cemetery. i almost wanted some inhalants. Like me, since Michael went to jesus. i've wrote oodles on it, I've always wanted to make a difference in the world. It's hard when you've been pretty much depressed since birth. So in my lifetime I've always listened to Michael and when you listen to him you feel it. It's been like a member of my family passed away. I saw all the people showing their love. You could feel all the love, people in some awesome Michael shirt's, you know what i'm saying. The flowers and all that jazz were from all over the globe, they were beautiful. A man placed my art among the other flowers and gifts and creations. It was really surreal and not to mention it was hot and humid and I felt like my head was being crushed! So I felt like a real ***CENSORED***, i left my camera in the car! ***CENSORED***! My sis took a picture of a lady with a real nice accent and all these people were very friendly. We sat down and had a smoke, i busted out my phone and put on dirty diana, it was on the lowest sound but u heard it. Then some bozo came and sat by us talking about meeting Stan Chambers and meeting Chong. It was wierd. I have a bunch of other stuff to say. however see ya Mi Sister and I went to Forest Lawn and showed our love and respect and then some. I wasn't a fan of the bozos saying, 'Don't congregate' Keep the line moving. So we didn't get to have a moment to bow my head. I also wanted to Any

The San Bernardino County Fair 2010 in Victorville, California USAHi Friends I'd like to share this with ya'll! Yesterday, Me & my Crew went to the Fair. The San Bernardino County Fair. EN VOGUE was having a concert. So my sis and I were huge En Vogue fans and that they were gonna be up here we had to see them. Then Earlier this week, I found out that 3 of Michael Jackson's rides from Neverland were going to be there. Ya'll know how much my & crew and I love him. So seeing En Vogue and some of Michael's actual posessions was going to Rule! When the show started I was in a kind of shock and kinda sad that it wasn't a full house. They were so huge and popular and I never thought they would be at our lame fair, so it was very surreal, I told my sis, 'They are from our generation!' It was also the original lineup! The real deal. Anyhow we were sitting in the bleechers that were to the side of the stage and there was no assholes sitting on that side we went up to the top and kicked it. They were great they sounded awesome, I loved the dance moves and even when one of them said they were glad to perform for us even with the 50 mph winds, cuz it is always windy here. As they were singing their hits and bringing it to us old school. Some great memories of my teenage years were brought back and it was cool. They wanted us to raise the roof and You best believe I was getting all up in that ***CENSORED***! I thought to myself, they rule and they are here singing good and doing their thing, imma make sure i show my loyalty as a fan and dance and scream. So today I kept thinking to myself, they weren't a trashy, tacky, nasty, talentless assholes. They had class. They didn't need to open up their legs, cuss, a reality show or anything to be who they are and were. Nowadays, music and the world is in a pretty much state of total shit, talentless trash so called singers with sex tapes, teenyboppers that are just lame. Rarely does anything these days have a message or is talent it's all about money and record sales. Yet En Vogue has sold millions and millions and won awards and then some. Last year we saw Bret Michaels at the fair, it was great. Except there was alot of cuntz in the crowd. So after that I had BEER! Beer You got Beer? Anyhow, we were walking down the way and i was talking about sonic pressure and seeing all the lights and people and then we saw Michael's swings. Even making it better they were BLASTING Michael Jackson music, (I was wearing my Michael shirt also!) Anyhow, Seeing it was kinda dream like. I always wanted to go to Neverland, We've all seen how beautiful it was and all the rides and it was special. I thought this IS Michael's, I wondered which seat he was in and how much he probably loved it, We even wondered which seat Mac was in. Then I was thinking this should still be at Neverland and Michael should still be alive. I almost lost it, however I maintained. When we got on the swings, holy shit, that was spinning so fast and totally crazy, It was amazing. Next we went on THE SPIDER, it was this big shiny black spider looking attraction, it looked brand new on top of it. I can't explain the spinning motion but it was the shit! It was very fun and I was screaming SONIC PRESSURE! Along with the Michael that was Blasting!!! Next, We went on THE ZIPPER! I'm sure alot of people know what that is. My sis and I sat in the cage and the worker slammed it and I felt like I was about to do time. That shit was insane, the pressure really was increased, I was shouting lots of bizarre and obscene things. We almost died, it was the SHIT!

Dear Diary, Today I was having a day that wasn't nice. Some douche who shouldn't say hurtful things to me did. But hey. However there was a package in the mail. I was like, what is this, i haven't ordered anything. So when I opened it i was like Woohoo! It is the beautiful lithograph of Madonna it is all about Celebration. There was a Icon Member card also. I love it. I remember the first one I ever had, had my Icon number written in the back. Anyhow, I ***CENSORED*** Love it!

Glee is a piece of shit. The first episode I tried to watch however I was appalled when there was a joke about Susan Smith made. For anyone who doesn't know who she is. She is a worthless ***CENSORED*** who drown her two children by rolling her car into a lake. Then she had the audacity to go on national televison crying and pleading with the person who kidnapped her children. She also said she was carjacked by a black man. What a great story to make a joke out of. This ***CENSORED*** left her two kids both under the age of 8 in their carseats and let them die. Then it was discovered she was cheating on her husband with a man who told her he DID NOT want children. This is a horrible tragedy where a mother commits the unspeakable thing of killing her two children, her own flesh and blood. The children's father and entire community said at the end of the court trial that there was no justice for these little boys. Let's make a joke about it, doesn't that sound like a good joke. I was so disgusted and shocked that a television show would sink to a new level of shame that this was a joke. I wrote to FOX studio or whoever the ***CENSORED*** is in charge. And guess what. I didn't recieve no response, acknowledgement of any kind, Not even an email that told me to go ***CENSORED*** myself. So that is why Glee Sux and is a piece of shit and could get raped in the ass for all I care. Oh yeah another great thing is on the new commercial that ***CENSORED*** making the comment. "i have a rape whistle" I'm sure everyone who's been raped just busts up laughing. Let me say that I lost my virginity by rape in 2000 I was 22. After that life, and my very sould was fucked. Something horrible soon after I met a guy who became my first boyfriend with my issues, letting someone in the backdoor was not just getting plowed but gave me major issues, So the way he got me was by drugging me and then fucked me up the ass. I guess that was a way to ***CENSORED*** me, this was followed by tears chaos, however I have a scar on my right hand where I punched that faggot out. And then the kicker of the story was this queer had aids and there was a chance that he could of gave that to me. Since his philosophy was "he didn't want to make love to a piece of rubber" So drugged, raped in the ass, Then the ordeal and fear of me having it. Going to get an aids test and the feeling of fear that I can't even described. ON a good note, the test was negative and coming to realize that life ain't all honkey dorey. So i know alot about ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder), depression, severe depression, anxiety, crazy behavior, anger, hate, rage, therapy, psychotherapy, doctors, quacks, assholes, etc. sadness, get the picture. But hey I'm still here and i do my best to be a good person. So that is why Glee made me want to vomit, then hearing my favorite song, Ray Of Light played was an insult, it also made me reminisce about my wonderful experience. So let's hear it for the #1 show in America. I sure am proud to be an american. Well I use to. ***CENSORED*** Glee right in the Ass. Love always, buzz or butch1977

So it's Friday and it is 10 minutes before Madonna comes on. Friday night woohoo! Madonna! Most Haunted! Ghost Adventures! sonic pressure

mj it's july 31, 2010, it's so tainted, i just think about 2019. I can't wait, This is It came on dvd on tuesday, me mum picked it up for me. she is awesome. i was'nt able to take my mum to see it on the bigscreen. however, i made a whole blog jazz about my crew and i going to see This is It special preview, the day that jenny lo got to see it! We were all up in that *itch. I was sporting a really bomb Michael shirt and my whole crew, me sista and 'friend' and her children, we all looked really off the chain, bruce, 9, and emma ,11, had their special gear on with honoring the one and only michael jackson! For emma's birthday i took her to see madonna in vegas for the sticky and sweet tour, and my sis. Anyhow, you feel me, so it was amazing, while we were on the way i felt like was going to see him in concert, but how emotional it was be, there was this energy, we all sat in the third row smack down in the center, nobody was in front, it was the bomb, when he did earthsong and spoke of the planet, i was glad i brought my spongebob rag cuz i couldn't help but crying my eyes out. Oh Hell no, i hope the grammys get Raped, if that offended you, i don't apologize. xoxo i'm watching this bullshit with my mom and i'm ready to vomit, not even a mention of the king and it should have been dedicated and showing true talent. In the same arena where Michael was going to do things that have never been done, where it was the biggest LED screen ever, a scale size bulldozer, and so much more, and with a message to do good things and save our planet which is dying and things that I would call Saintly, instead we see stacy ferguson who has been trying to be big since kids incorporated and all those other jokes she tried to be in, and she is being censored for cussing. The staples center where Michael danced one last time, June 24, which happened to be my birthday and they have the nerve not to mention that a man who has prisoners and millions of people trying to dance like him and it is'nt even mentioned, well i guess i have to wait till the end. Remember how i said, when at the mtv awards where Michael defined videos and created Short Films. The first thing that happened was Madonna walking out and giving Michael Jackson thanks to his musical and more contributions to the world. That's right. Madonna Rulz and Michael Jackson Rock and Roll Hall of Famers to boot, are the real deal. i apolgize for something though, this letter i'm typing is really hard to follow cuz i jump from one thing to the next, i guess it's as this show progresses the more ill i feel. Michael made the world a better place and was committed to it.beyonce a standing ovation, a thank you to Michael should have been mentioned she did have a great group where her father kicked out members of the group who had been in since childhood outstanding performance by the crystal meth selling pink. 50 sold out shows, with thousands in cue to get tickets. i'm just appalled, this is astounding to me. Then the nobodies with unoriginal songs but hey taylor swift wrote every song on her album, carrie underwood, all this american idol crap, i guess have talent, that has paula abdul judging people where a fan who she ragged on to kill herself and where humiliating people is the goal. i watched This is It yesterday with my best friend and we were in tears, Michael being gone has been a tragedy for the world. It is a joke that this razzys or grammys have the audacity to put on this bs. when i was in second grade, we are the world was where i had to make a difference. i also donated to the Haiti children and it left me with a whopping 2.19 since balance in my account was irrelevant. On 4th of july i registered to attend Michael's memorial where Mooriah butchered a song the young King touched millions. So all 8 of my email addresses didn't get chose. I went to Madonna.com and saw that Madonna dedicated her show to him and this was days after he had passed away. She was showing love and support and honor and dedicated Give it 2 Me to the King of Pop, came out and gave a beautiful dedication and told it like it is. Another amazing talented artist showing what another fellow human and artist gave to humanity. So these bs awards have been on 50 minutes and still no mention other than the announcer saying coming up next his name. Not a word of grammy winner Madonna who just completed her record breaking tour. The highest grossing tour of a solo artist. EVER, who also was going through sadness herself. To keep going on while going through a divorce, whom also dedicated a beautiful tribute for her encore. Not a mention of Madonna or Michael Jackson. oh please. so thats why i hope the grammy's get raped in the ass. i do apologize that is not something nice to say and michael would probably be appalled by that remark.In my 32 years, i've learned that the world doesn't think like i did that people and the system were all good and not corrupt. that i've spiraled and soul searched that maybe i have to learn how to forgive, but than i think that is why jesus christ was a savior who saved our souls from the lake of fire and brimstone, so maybe that is something i should learn to do. Then i think that is why Jesus is another king, and i say that is why i'm just me cuz Jesus forgives and i'm too pissed off. Forgiveness is a key to the answer and to ask Jesus for help, I know he will forgive all the people that deserve to go in old sparky.i'm watching this bullshit with my mom and i'm ready to vomit, not even a mention of the king and it should have been dedicated and showing true talent. pink a legend, i don't think so, a tweeker and a bd. without a doubt, beyonce? who called tina turner the queen of soul. opening with lady gaga. imma bout to blow chunks.Not only did our queen be recognized and finally awarded with the masterpiece Ray Of Light. The grammy's lowercase, where the final rehearsal was performed, I was disgusted that it opened without even mentioning the 13 time Grammy winner the King of Pop. we get to hear about the other legendary performers like lady gaga an...d her 5 grammy not to mention having the first single ever to debut at #1. The Guiness book of how many charities he was involved.This bozo who is the mc or whatever host, i don't know who he is to boot, he mentions pink, taylor swift, and other talentless trash. this host also joked about Glee the show that made jokes of susan smith who drown her children and said it was a black man who did it. This is just sad. If there was no michael these people wouldn't exist, the grammys would'nt be known as the highest honor. He is and will always be the King of Pop. A king for humanity. Long Live the King! Ok, i'm done, it must be the sonic pressure!

So today it has been raining and cold all day. I watched the Little People Big World marathon. I love that show. I support the LP comunity. Anyhow, last night I made a donation to help the people in Haiti, I felt like it was my duty. I remember being in second grade and We are the World was the anthem for USA for Africa. My teacher Mrs. Lowery, I loved her, i remember her playing it and seeing a film in the auditorium about all the starvation and horrible things. I remember how I loved Michael Jackson my whole life just about and I remember bringing money to school because I wanted to help. It wasn't that much but seeing people in pain and more made me feel terrible. Ever since then I've always donated to good causes. When Michael passed away I started to think about the impact he had on my life. I wanted to help people and Michael had alot to do with it. I'm sure some of you feel me. I know if Michael was still alive he would help in any way he could. When I read today that 200,000 people have died and I read today about all the animals that need help too. I am a huge animal lover and when I read about all these poor people and families I had a emotional meltdown. It is another horrible tragedy, in our life time. September 22, the Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, and now Haiti. In 2008 I lost my uncle, my grandpa (he was 93), my baby nephew, I was there when he was taken off life support it was the worst experience of my life. When I left the hospital I remember blasting Hard Candy my way home. Then in November my cat White Eye who was 18 years old passed away. He was a persian and beautiful, he was the only kitten his mother had (Cookie) he was born at our house and he was part of the family. It was so sad I can't explain it. I had two dogs pass away also, Ole Boy and Samantha. I remember saying to myself that if anything else I loved died I was going to go catatonic. Then on June 25, the day after my birthday, Michael Jackson one of my idols had passed away, Also was Farrah Fawcett and just recently Brittany Murphy. One of my dogs Jack passed away this summer too. I hate death it ***CENSORED*** sucks. I am so tired of all the pain and suffering in the world, we need a celebration. So that is just another reason why I've been blasting Celebration, it can make you stop crying and wanna dance. also the message just makes you feel good. Well I guess I'm just thinking and typing my mind out. 'There is so much destruction what I want is a celebration' xoxo buzz

I just read this and i don't have words to explain this horrible thing. I'm sorry if this ruined your night. Families in Haiti have been destroyed. As people we can't allow this. They need the help of our country RIGHT NOW. i've been having a meltdown lately and i feel like an asshole, for not realyzi...ng that i should be thankful for all i have. Peace and Love buzz PORT -AU-PRINCE, Haiti (Jan. 17) -- The general hospital in the center of this devastated city reeks of illness and death. The partially collapsed medical complex near the caved in presidential palace is packed with patients suffering from broken bones, burns and infection. Surgeons have performed 60 amputations in the last two days on two operating beds. Howls of pain escape into the courtyard, where about 1,000 people wait under the burning sun for medical attention, swatting flies away from open wounds. Gabi Ali, 8, was transferred from one triage center to the next, finally arriving here, at the Hopital de l'Universite d'Etat d'Haiti, where a coalition of doctors working under the umbrella group International Medical Corp. has centralized treatment. Suffering from burns and a spinal injury after his home collapsed and then caught fire, Gabi is alone, orphaned by the earthquake. Disaster in HaitiPatrick Farrell, Miami Herald/MCT22 photos Ten-year-old Naika Snyder lies on a mattress held at an incline by rocks in a makeshift clinic outside a Port-au-Prince hospital on Saturday. Hospitals were packed with patients suffering from broken bones and open wounds. Overworked doctors have had to perform countless amputations. There are not enough beds for all the patients. Disaster in Haiti Ten-year-old Naika Snyder lies on a mattress held at an incline by rocks in a makeshift clinic outside a Port-au-Prince hospital on Saturday. Hospitals were packed with patients suffering from broken bones and open wounds. Overworked doctors have had to perform countless amputations. There are not enough beds for all the patients. Patrick Farrell, Miami Herald/MCT Out of IVs and catheters, and running low on plaster and morphine, doctors are mixing oral rehydration salts into water bottles picked up from the airport and sending patients on their way. IMC has attempted to systematize treatment by marking people's left arms with one of three codes that designates how quickly they need attention. "If the code is three numbers, they need to be seen right away and probably require amputation," explained Margaret Aguirre, the IMC's director of global communications. "A case that would require immediate care in the U.S. gets the lowest-level triage here," she said. The roads from the airport to the hospital have been cleared of bodies, said Dominique Louis, a Haitian-American who flew in Saturday from Pompano Beach, Fla., with a group from his nonprofit school Green Children's House. Signs perched on collapsed apartment buildings declare S.O.S. and that the dead are buried beneath the rubble. "This is a Haitian holocaust," said Louis, among many volunteers, from Haiti and around the world, assisting doctors at the university hospital. Richard Jean-Baptiste, 29, a Haitian medical student, was at his university in the Port-au-Prince neighborhood of Petionville when he felt the ground trembling under his feet. Since the Jan. 12 earthquake, he has spent day and night at the hospital. "The room where I lived is ashes," he said. "It was Thursday that they could pull my roommate out from the rubble." Jean-Paul Bonnet, a retired doctor from New Jersey, arrived here independently, moving from one dire case to the next in the makeshift orthopedic room. "Don't bother cleaning the leg -- we'll have to amputate," Bonnet instructed, referring to a woman with an open compound fracture below her right knee. Ordinarily, the wound would be treated, but it had been allowed to fester since the earthquake struck. If doctors did not amputate, the patient would likely die from infection, Bonnet said. "It's criminal. The world has to mobilize faster," he said. The ailing are not far from the dead. When doctors began to arrive to Port-au-Prince late on Jan. 13, they discovered piles of corpses in a field behind the hospital. "They had to put them somewhere, so why not a hospital," said Robert Fuller, an emergency room doctor at the University of Connecticut working under the auspices of IMC. "There were probably 400 bodies piled up," he said. Several buildings at the university hospital complex -- including a nursing school -- crumbled in the quake. Manouchka Pierre, 25 years old today, is among 100 student nurses presumed to have died, though relatives continued receiving text messages from victims trapped beneath the debris as late as Saturday morning. "She went to the hospital Tuesday morning. I never saw her again," said her father, Dieubon Pierre. "I am left with one son -- only him and God." Bloated and deformed, corpses lined the top of the former school, now reduced to a pile of concrete. An industrial lift picked up bodies and dropped them into the bed of a truck, to be delivered to the field behind the hospital, which people have begun referring to as the morgue. As ghastly as it is, the situation at Port-au-Prince's general hospital has improved in the last 48 hours, said the hospital's director, Alix Lassegue. At first there was no water and no electricity. "We're beginning to receive more and more supplies and medications and medical teams from abroad to speed up care," Lassegue said. Still, any sense of order at the hospital complex was disrupted by disorder outside its iron gates. As the sun began to go down, Haitian police rushed in a man with two gunshot wounds -- and a body bag.

Well it's a new year, let me just say I hope this year is better than my last 10 years. On new years eve it marked a grim anniversary for me. I met a total douche New Years eve of 99. That douche supplied my past 10 years of sadness, depression, pain, ptsd, and then some. The loser i met was my first real relationship and the worst experience of my life. Since then I've spiraled out of control, my views of everything changed. I had major issues with intimacy and this person knew of them. In order to get what he wanted out of me, I was drugged and then raped. So since then I've seen shrinks many different ones and some whom made things worse. I did psychotherapy two Christmas's ago and that brought everything back and sent me into a major spiral. I wrote some really personal blogs on myspace, it was during my therapy and I was breaking my silence in a way. Maybe one day I might post them on here. So if anyone sees any of my videos and they think that I'm making a joke of rape, believe me, I'm not making a joke. It took me years to come to even get myself to say the word rape. The more it is said and talked about that brings attention to the whole subject. Well I just wanted to say Happy New Year and I ended up goin on something else. To anyone who has ever been taken advantage of or been abused; Stay strong and keep your head up. You are a great person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. **Also blasting Madonna's music helps you get through tough points in life. When you blast a Madonna song, the tears can be eased by the need to get up and dance. xoxo b

When I turned on my computer I saw that Brittany Murphy's funeral is on Christmas Eve. I've never been a huge fan of hers, however she was in Clueless and I am a huge Alicia fan so you feel me. I know there is all this talk about overdose and all that jazz. It's just a sad story, She was only 32, the same age as me. It is just strange when someone dies that is as old as me. I do say that 1977 was a year when some BOMB people were born. So may she rest in Peace.

Well Kids, It is 7:59, One year ago my posse, my 2 sisters, my niece, and myself were sitting in our seats waiting for Madonna to come out. My niece Emma who is 11 years old, had been asking what time is it, again and again. We were counting down, and when the lights went out, I said to her, Here she comes, the look of excitement and anticipation and happiness was one of the coolest moments in my life. I know I had the same look and feelings, When I was 11 I would have died if I went to a Madonna concert. It was my birthday gift to my niece and it was her first concert and first trip to Vegas. Before the show, we were at one of the stands and I let her pick out anything she wanted. She picked out a pink shirt with M posing with that awesome belt on! My niece wanted to carry the bag, it was cool you know the tour logo on it. We all had a blast and my sister said when she saw us walking out that my niece and I had the biggest smiles on our face. Emma was born in 98 when Ray of Light came out and that album changed my life and my niece saved me from committing suicide. So she is very special to me. I had to share this with all my fellow Madonna fans cuz I'm sure there are some of you out there who were as excited as I was. After the show we walked back to the hotel Emma proudly carrying our bag of goodies. We later went to Denny's and just talked about how much the show and Madonna RULE! Viva Madonna! I just turned on my computer and all that jazz just so I could write this blog. At this moment I'm blasting American Life. I hope everyone has a great evening! love love buzz

I feel like my head is being Crushed!

Well Hello kids, I just got home from seeing 'This is It'. IT RULZ!!! It was ***CENSORED*** awesome. There is so many awesome parts I can't even begin to tell you. It was brilliant. If you are a Michael fan, then you will absolutely love it. You will be moved and it shows what a extraordinary human being he was. xoxo Learn To Love

Friends of Friends, I'm so excited on Tuesday the October 27, Me and my club are gonna see 'This is It' ! It's the day before it comes out to the rest of the world so I ain't gonna lie. I'm so damned excited! I still haven't really come to terms with Michael being gone. I always loved him and thought he was amazing, but I never thought what actually happened would have happened. I didn't know how sad and how hard I would take his passing. Michael was and always had been part of my life. I still am in a state of disbelief, yet it's not like it was when it first happened. Michael was an amazing human being with so much to give to the world. I believe he truly is a saint. I just finished this montage 'Michael Jackson Rulz' Y'all know bout my creations, my montages's in the 'Rulz' series. I made UPDATED 10/27/09 So today is the day, tonight we're gonna see THIS IS IT at 9:00 p.m. I'm so glad, at first I the shitty city I live in wasn't going to play it; so I'm pretty jazzed cuz it's playing in the new theatre and before the worldwide release. This theatre is one of the only ones in California where they apparently have seats that move. I think it's kinda like Star Tours at Disney. That was back in the good ole days when Disneyland was a great place, Captain EO was there also. Now it is run by a bunch of greedy cunts who have completely shit on Walt Disney's dream. It's pretty sad. However that is a whole other story. I won't even go there cuz I will be writing until hell freezes over. It's also kinda the way I feel about usa. Did you notice I didn't capitalize it. A nation which was based on freedom and equality, even though it was stolen from the native people and they were massacred. So truthfully the whole thing is a crock and full of corruption. Once again something I held in high regard and really loved was destroyed by GREED! Anyhow, I'm going off topic as usual. That is another reason why Michael Jackson was the epitome of a Superstar. He helped people, the world, long before this trend of 'go green' started. Sorry assholes but the damage is done. I've cared about the environment since day one and done what I could do as myself to help the planet. The ozone isn't going to mend itself, the ancient redwoods, rainforests, animals that have been exterminated aren't going to come back cuz some shitheads are now so concerned about the planet and 'going green' is gonna save us. Losing Michael Jackson was a loss to the world; for humanity and for life in all shapes and forms. He is the first person I've admired has passed away. I don't wanna sound like the total manic depressant, however I have my awesome moments for instance, as I'm typing, 'Unskinny Bop' came blasting on and I just started singing and I wanna dance as well. (This summer my sis and I saw Brett Michaels at the County Fair) there were so many old people trying to hold onto their youth it was hilarious. ALSO, I was blasting Celebration and listening to it and blasting it makes me feel good. Viva Madonna! I love her! Anyhow. I'm not totally miserable all the time but I get sad. I have to have hope for humanity cuz someone needs to. XOXO Long Live Michael Jackson "We're The World" There comes a time when we hear a certain call When the world must come together as one There are people dying and it's time to lend a hand to life There greatest gift of all We can't go on pretending day by day That someone, somewhere will soon make a change We are all a part of God's great big family And the truth, you know, Love is all we need We are the world, we are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day So let's start giving There's a choice we're making We're saving our own lives it's true we'll make a better day Just you and me Send them your heart so they'll know that someone cares And their lives will be stronger and free As God has shown us by turning stones to bread So we all must lend a helping hand When you're down and out, there seems no hope at all But if you just believe there's no way we can fall Let us realize that a change can only come When we stand together as one End of Transmission

LMAO! I'm sure the title made a few people curious. Anyhow, I was wondering if I was being too anal about something. I received my Celebration 2 Disc and the DVD from Amazon. (however Amazon mailed it to me the day AFTER it was released) anyhow. I love it but when I listened to it. Like a Virgin was playing and I said out loud to myself. This in NOT the original it is the version from The Immaculate Collection. I myself love the original it doesn't have that sound before the chorus and that chiming bell sound during the chorus. The original goes 'Can't you feel my heartbeat, for the very first time' at the end. The remix fades before. I thought to myself am I being an asshole? Though I know other fans would know exactly what I'm talking about. I haven't fully played and listened to it all the way through but I think that Erotica might be the version from GHV2. I'm not disappointed cuz, I got excited hearing 'Express Yourself' cuz that version isn't on Like a Prayer or The Immaculate Collection. Also the version of 4 minutes that was different from Hard Candy was delightful. I would have liked to heard Where's the Party, Gambler, True Blue, Give it 2 Me, Jump, American Life, Love Profusion, Like it or Not, Rain and some other hits. I guess only 'Real' diehard fans would feel me. The DVD is great too, but once again am I being too anal? I hoped it would have had; True Blue, Dear Jessie, American Life (both versions), Bad Girl, the alternate Get Together, Oh Father, Nothing Really Matters. It would have been the bomb if they had included M's American Bandstand performance, or some of her VMA showstoppers and I would have really liked to see her when she blended Billie Jean into her own hits. I'm sure some people feel me. Anyhow, that is my rant for the day. Toodles. Sonic Pressure!

So let me just say how tainted the dentist was. I hated it. however the nitrous was decent, however you would never guess the song that comes on when they turn the gas on.........the ***CENSORED*** Macarena! LMAO! at first i was thinking what the f*ck! am i really under some good shit or is macarena blasting in my mind. well they were really blasting the macarena, then i'm giggling like a dope and having a flashback of me and my sister doing the macarena at our other sister's wedding reception back in 1996 and let me just say, we were tearing it up and this was before the macarena swept the nation and everyone knew it. LMAO. But let me say, unfortunately it was all caught on video, so someday when I become a household name my dreaded Macarena footage might come back and kick my ass. Anyhow, the appt went decent and I'm not in total pain and my dentist looked like Celine Dion to boot! toodles

I have a dentist appt in 45 minutes. I hate the dentist. Thank goodness imma be nuked with nitrous.