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butch1977

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  1. butch1977

    3 EPs down 2 to Go

    By butch1977,


    Music
    My plan is to finish this musical project before the year is over. I redid all the demos except a couple. I have already wrote a bunch of sonnets for the next project. It's a different subject matter. I've been working on this music project for almost a year. I have put my heart and soul into it. It's still very difficult and it hurts  that I haven't heard a word from the person who was the inspiration.  The hurt hasn't went away, the love never went away. The hurt has only grown to sad and lonely bitterness.  I know what we had was very special but it's like it was erased. But it was real and it was a fairytale because while it lasted, I loved every moment,  but with how painful this is. I wish we would have never met. To feel love like you had never known was possible and the positive things that love does. To lose that love because of sabotage just makes it even more a shitty situation. It's almost like a battle to keep the sadness away. I'm just so unhappy I'm trying everything I can to keep myself busy and occupied. Feeling rejected and unloved is such a lonely shitty place.
  2. butch1977
    So Here's a quick update on the madonna app. It still crashes and does not work. I looked up mobileroadie instagram page, and remind you, they are in charge of the madonna app. I believe it has 6 posts, 36 followers and is following 4. Really, Well I'm not surprised, but come on now.
  6. butch1977

    Madonna App STILL WACK

    By butch1977,

    So I just went opened the Madonna app. I hadn't even been on for 5 minutes and it crashed. Lol at least in didn't freeze up my phone like it's done before. I think I'm gonna stick to icon. Madonna was amazeballs at the grammys. The rest of the show was sh*t. The director of the show must be fired for mediocre camera work. With those bad skills he should join the other incompetent workers that madonna unfortunately has on her team. Beyonce is so damn overrated. Not to mention she can't sing. The only cool thing she's done was falling down the stairs. The grammys use to be a special deal. Now it is a joke and after Madonna I put on amish haunting!!
  7. butch1977

    2014

    By butch1977,

    So here is my first blog of 2014 on Icon. So far this year has been full of Madonna haters. So she wears a grill. I luv the Grill! Yeah she dropped the N Bomb.
    I still luv her. The only problem I had was the pic of Rocco and friends with the alcohol bottles. Other than that. Still luv her and always will.
  8. butch1977

    Madonna App Update

    By butch1977,

    Well, the app is still wack. There has been a some changes, However it still crashes and I the same thing happens. I've uninstalled it a few times to see if downloading it again and it might work. Well that didn't help. However, time is ticking and it's getting closer to the new album. #fixthemadonnaapp Really this is not a good look.
  9. butch1977

    Happy March 2015

    By butch1977,

    So 9 more days till Rebel Heart. I have seen tour gossip on instagram and the problematic madonna app. I always wait 5o hear it directly from Madonna's camp. Since Icon is her official fan club. I will believe it when I see it here. However it seems like these days stub hub is aware of ticket sales before ticketmaster. For example when the Mdna tour was announced. Stub hub had tickets available before. Even before the legacy preales happened. But hey that's the world we live in.
  12. butch1977

    Anal?

    By butch1977,

    LMAO! I'm sure the title made a few people curious. Anyhow, I was wondering if I was being too anal about something. I received my Celebration 2 Disc and the DVD from Amazon. (however Amazon mailed it to me the day AFTER it was released) anyhow. I love it but when I listened to it. Like a Virgin was playing and I said out loud to myself. This in NOT the original it is the version from The Immaculate Collection. I myself love the original it doesn't have that sound before the chorus and that chiming bell sound during the chorus. The original goes 'Can't you feel my heartbeat, for the very first time' at the end. The remix fades before. I thought to myself am I being an asshole? Though I know other fans would know exactly what I'm talking about. I haven't fully played and listened to it all the way through but I think that Erotica might be the version from GHV2.
    I'm not disappointed cuz, I got excited hearing 'Express Yourself' cuz that version isn't on Like a Prayer or The Immaculate Collection. Also the version of 4 minutes that was different from Hard Candy was delightful.
    I would have liked to heard Where's the Party, Gambler, True Blue, Give it 2 Me, Jump, American Life, Love Profusion, Like it or Not, Rain and some other hits. I guess only 'Real' diehard fans would feel me.
    The DVD is great too, but once again am I being too anal?
    I hoped it would have had; True Blue, Dear Jessie, American Life (both versions), Bad Girl, the alternate Get Together, Oh Father, Nothing Really Matters. It would have been the bomb if they had included M's American Bandstand performance, or some of her VMA showstoppers and I would have really liked to see her when she blended Billie Jean into her own hits. I'm sure some people feel me.
    Anyhow, that is my rant for the day.
     
    Toodles.
     
    Sonic Pressure!
  15. butch1977

    November 13

    By butch1977,

    I just read that the November 12 show at the Wiltern is being canceled due to production elements. I'm glad that I picked the 13th for my show. I didn't pick opening night in l.a. for my choice. So I'm glad I didn't pick that day now I'll be attending my show but it will now be the opening date in la of the Madame X show. I was at opening night of Confessions in Inglewood and it was the bomb!
    In other history, tonight is the 4 year anniversary of seeing M in Inglewood for the Rebel Heart Tour
  16. butch1977

    GLEE SUX!!

    By butch1977,

    Glee is a piece of shit.
    The first episode I tried to watch however I was appalled when there was a joke about Susan Smith made. For anyone who doesn't know who she is. She is a worthless ***CENSORED*** who drown her two children by rolling her car into a lake. Then she had the audacity to go on national televison crying and pleading with the person who kidnapped her children. She also said she was carjacked by a black man. What a great story to make a joke out of. This ***CENSORED*** left her two kids both under the age of 8 in their carseats and let them die. Then it was discovered she was cheating on her husband with a man who told her he DID NOT want children. This is a horrible tragedy where a mother commits the unspeakable thing of killing her two children, her own flesh and blood.
    The children's father and entire community said at the end of the court trial that there was no justice for these little boys.
    Let's make a joke about it, doesn't that sound like a good joke.
    I was so disgusted and shocked that a television show would sink to a new level of shame that this was a joke. I wrote to FOX studio or whoever the ***CENSORED*** is in charge. And guess what. I didn't recieve no response, acknowledgement of any kind, Not even an email that told me to go ***CENSORED*** myself.
    So that is why Glee Sux and is a piece of shit and could get raped in the ass for all I care. Oh yeah another great thing is on the new commercial that ***CENSORED*** making the comment. "i have a rape whistle" I'm sure everyone who's been raped just busts up laughing. Let me say that I lost my virginity by rape in 2000 I was 22. After that life, and my very sould was fucked. Something horrible soon after I met a guy who became my first boyfriend with my issues, letting someone in the backdoor was not just getting plowed but gave me major issues, So the way he got me was by drugging me and then fucked me up the ass. I guess that was a way to ***CENSORED*** me, this was followed by tears chaos, however I have a scar on my right hand where I punched that faggot out. And then the kicker of the story was this queer had aids and there was a chance that he could of gave that to me. Since his philosophy was "he didn't want to make love to a piece of rubber" So drugged, raped in the ass, Then the ordeal and fear of me having it. Going to get an aids test and the feeling of fear that I can't even described.
    ON a good note, the test was negative and coming to realize that life ain't all honkey dorey.  
    So i know alot about ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder), depression, severe depression, anxiety, crazy behavior, anger, hate, rage, therapy, psychotherapy, doctors, quacks, assholes, etc.  sadness, get the picture. But hey I'm still here and i do my best to be a good person.
    So that is why Glee made me want to vomit, then hearing my favorite song, Ray Of Light played was an insult, it also made me reminisce about my wonderful experience.
    So let's hear it for the #1 show in America. I sure am proud to be an american. Well I use to.
    ***CENSORED*** Glee right in the Ass.
    Love always,
    buzz or butch1977
  18. butch1977

    Huhhhhh

    By butch1977,

    I missed the icon contest. Lmfao. I have a bunch of flip a gram magazines. And the contest was for legacy members. There was my chance lmao.
  20. butch1977

    Hotdogs! and 4:20 am

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    Merry Christmas so I can have some updates to to everything I'm really high as a kite right now and so this might not make sense but my new single my first single ever hot dogs is going to be coming out out soon buy whole album was not planned it was some sonnets and poems Shakespearean sonnets to be correct and somehow it. Has ended with our kind came to me singing or speaking whatever I don't know how to explain it but I've really been kind of sad and today has been I'm pretty sad but I've kept it together and it's 4:08 a.m. so it's a new day and I just smoked big blunt that was really decent I'm trying to remain calm and not start to panic because I've been panicking a lot lately and it's very disturbing and it's scaring me kind of but the song Hot Dogs my producer is telling me to have the album art artwork ready and it's coming along but she originally said that my album was going to be up before Halloween and and Halloween was months ago but it's just a little strange that in other words over Christmas I was having a bad gout attack and I was walking around with my cane like Selma Blair but it really hurt thank goodness it's going away but it's not good and I think I'm going through an episode of mania because I'm I don't know how to just describe it but it's nothing more than all over the place it's like today I was watching a hummingbird feeder and I had filled all of them today I made new hummingbird food but I was sitting in my car getting stoned and I was just staring off into will not staring off into space just looking atla cast the front door to the house and just thinking all this sad stuff end like not being able to snap out of it it was I know I hated it it was really awful and I never I always could do you like Nat and just get up and wipe all that s*** off I've been really sad being all alone at 4:15 a.m. is really sad I used to not give a s*** but now lonely this in the silence it's almost dead deafening did you hear that did anyone stomach just Rumble I just had the classic you're wondering where that came from I am doing I don't know what it's called speaking and it's like writing everything out I know it has a word but so that's why it's if you're reading this is like like whoa whoa whoa whoa but it's easier to do this then really stoned and crying that type this little device and it takes a long ass time so doing it like this is way easier I tried and like before it posts or I put it on I like to proofread bike on God damn Instagram the way it's set up if you go back and you want it edit your post where the cursor is is that on the on the page you have to scroll up or scroll down and then when you pillow letter it goes all the way back up to the it's just as this weird thing so it's editing picture is not like it was before before I think it is that was done on in more other news it's 4:18 a.m. it's almost 4:20 a.m. and I was just going to mention Simon by completely forgot what I was getting at anyways just chairs made this weird sound that I'm sitting on it sounds funny it's f****** cold let me see it's a f****** 30-something degrees I had my blankies on it's little heater that's not working very well it's 4:19 a.m. damn I am so damn stone oh that's why I was going to I didn't know I was going to talk about my only fans page and no it's not what your what anyone's thinking of what that it was summer time I wanted to do Stephon the yard and all that and work on my tan and content like that my scar from that surgery ended up getting all jacked up so I had to wear a shirt so it didn't get more messed up so there went that influencer part about the tan B so it is now 4:20 a.m.
  21. butch1977

    Living For Love

    By butch1977,

    So today I showed my nieces and nephew madonna at the Brit awards and how a true superstar gets it done. My niece will be 17 in July. She already saw madonna in Vegas for sticky and sweet. The next generation of fans knows what's up.
  23. butch1977

    Too much

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    So I really hate feeling sad it's been getting worse. I just feel so alone and unloved just like I don't even exist and I've always felt like that but now it's almost unbearable being alone and getting stoned is not fun anymore.  it's not I always end up pretty. it's just very difficult to fake out whats in my head. Even listening to music. I'm sure everyone has songs where they get will feel a little sad or feel  but all here this certain songs and I burst into f****** tears and it's happening like a lot and it's kind of scares me because it's it's just so awful.
     I just took a big old bong rip and real life it's not enough I need to like angel dust or something because I need the next level or something. I be im a deep depression like a really deep and it almost feels like it's like I'm doomed and right now my my foot hurts I think I might be getting a gout attack coming on and that hurts when you get that it starts in your life bending your toes and it's feeling this is like the get ready cuz it's going to really hurt and I already have enough on my plate and I lately just want to get all of
    So today in the mail I got this poster and it was a it's a Madonna poster and if a double sided but the thing is I did not order this and I didn't buy it and it came from China I don't I'm baffled by what where it came from because I didn't buy it and I don't think I want any kind of contest or some s*** like that. I'm just really sad.
  24. butch1977
    Dear diary,
    Yesterday was my birthday it was very tight. i turned 18 and i wanted a bunch of confetti on my face. Today one year ago, Michael went home to Jesus.
    Last night i created a piece of art, i used my watercolors and some others. I painted a heart and in the heart it said.  It had to be about love and not make you too sad, so when you see something that Rulz is the real deal. It doesn't need explanation.
    'Michael Jackson Rulz'
    On the back of the painting my family all signed it and a special note to Michael.
    At Forest Lawn, it was pretty sad, i'm not a big fan of death and all that jazz. However the place was huge, we left pretty early and there was a shitload of News Crews, there was even a goddamned helicopter hovering the cemetery and let me say they were having funerals there too. I bet the family loved that. We drove through the front gates and drove through the huge beautiful cemetery. i almost wanted some inhalants.
    Like me, since Michael went to jesus. i've wrote oodles on it, I've always wanted to make a difference in the world. It's hard when you've been pretty much depressed since birth. So in my lifetime I've always listened to Michael and when you listen to him you feel it. It's been like a member of my family passed away. I saw all the people showing their love.
    You could feel all the love, people in some awesome Michael shirt's, you know what i'm saying. The flowers and all that jazz were from all over the globe, they were beautiful. A man placed my art among the other flowers and gifts and creations. It was really surreal and not to mention it was hot and humid and I felt like my head was being crushed!
    So I felt like a real ***CENSORED***, i left my camera in the car! ***CENSORED***!
    My sis took a picture of a lady with  a real nice accent and all these people were very friendly. We sat down and had a smoke, i busted out my phone and put on dirty diana, it was on the lowest sound but u heard it. Then some bozo came and sat by us talking about meeting Stan Chambers and meeting Chong. It was wierd. I have a bunch of other stuff to say. however see ya
    Mi Sister and I went to Forest Lawn and showed our love and respect and then some. I wasn't a fan of the bozos saying, 'Don't congregate' Keep the line moving. So we didn't get to have a moment to bow my head. I also wanted to
    Any
  25. butch1977
    I just read this and i don't have words to explain this horrible thing. I'm sorry if this ruined your night. Families in Haiti have been destroyed. As people we can't allow this. They need the help of our country RIGHT NOW.

    i've been having a meltdown lately and i feel like an asshole, for not realyzi...ng that i should be thankful for all i have.

    Peace and Love
    buzz
    PORT -AU-PRINCE, Haiti (Jan. 17) -- The general hospital in the center of this devastated city reeks of illness and death. The partially collapsed medical complex near the caved in presidential palace is packed with patients suffering from broken bones, burns and infection.
    Surgeons have performed 60 amputations in the last two days on two operating beds. Howls of pain escape into the courtyard, where about 1,000 people wait under the burning sun for medical attention, swatting flies away from open wounds.
    Gabi Ali, 8, was transferred from one triage center to the next, finally arriving here, at the Hopital de l'Universite d'Etat d'Haiti, where a coalition of doctors working under the umbrella group International Medical Corp. has centralized treatment. Suffering from burns and a spinal injury after his home collapsed and then caught fire, Gabi is alone, orphaned by the earthquake.
    Disaster in HaitiPatrick Farrell, Miami Herald/MCT22 photos   Ten-year-old Naika Snyder lies on a mattress held at an incline by rocks in a makeshift clinic outside a Port-au-Prince hospital on Saturday. Hospitals were packed with patients suffering from broken bones and open wounds. Overworked doctors have had to perform countless amputations. There are not enough beds for all the patients.
    Disaster in Haiti
    Ten-year-old Naika Snyder lies on a mattress held at an incline by rocks in a makeshift clinic outside a Port-au-Prince hospital on Saturday. Hospitals were packed with patients suffering from broken bones and open wounds. Overworked doctors have had to perform countless amputations. There are not enough beds for all the patients.
    Patrick Farrell, Miami Herald/MCT
    Out of IVs and catheters, and running low on plaster and morphine, doctors are mixing oral rehydration salts into water bottles picked up from the airport and sending patients on their way. IMC has attempted to systematize treatment by marking people's left arms with one of three codes that designates how quickly they need attention.
    "If the code is three numbers, they need to be seen right away and probably require amputation," explained Margaret Aguirre, the IMC's director of global communications.
    "A case that would require immediate care in the U.S. gets the lowest-level triage here," she said.
    The roads from the airport to the hospital have been cleared of bodies, said Dominique Louis, a Haitian-American who flew in Saturday from Pompano Beach, Fla., with a group from his nonprofit school Green Children's House.
    Signs perched on collapsed apartment buildings declare S.O.S. and that the dead are buried beneath the rubble.
    "This is a Haitian holocaust," said Louis, among many volunteers, from Haiti and around the world, assisting doctors at the university hospital.
    Richard Jean-Baptiste, 29, a Haitian medical student, was at his university in the Port-au-Prince neighborhood of Petionville when he felt the ground trembling under his feet. Since the Jan. 12 earthquake, he has spent day and night at the hospital.
    "The room where I lived is ashes," he said. "It was Thursday that they could pull my roommate out from the rubble."
    Jean-Paul Bonnet, a retired doctor from New Jersey, arrived here independently, moving from one dire case to the next in the makeshift orthopedic room.
    "Don't bother cleaning the leg -- we'll have to amputate," Bonnet instructed, referring to a woman with an open compound fracture below her right knee.
    Ordinarily, the wound would be treated, but it had been allowed to fester since the earthquake struck. If doctors did not amputate, the patient would likely die from infection, Bonnet said.
    "It's criminal. The world has to mobilize faster," he said.

    The ailing are not far from the dead. When doctors began to arrive to Port-au-Prince late on Jan. 13, they discovered piles of corpses in a field behind the hospital.
    "They had to put them somewhere, so why not a hospital," said Robert Fuller, an emergency room doctor at the University of Connecticut working under the auspices of IMC.
    "There were probably 400 bodies piled up," he said.
    Several buildings at the university hospital complex -- including a nursing school -- crumbled in the quake.
    Manouchka Pierre, 25 years old today, is among 100 student nurses presumed to have died, though relatives continued receiving text messages from victims trapped beneath the debris as late as Saturday morning.
    "She went to the hospital Tuesday morning. I never saw her again," said her father, Dieubon Pierre. "I am left with one son -- only him and God."
    Bloated and deformed, corpses lined the top of the former school, now reduced to a pile of concrete. An industrial lift picked up bodies and dropped them into the bed of a truck, to be delivered to the field behind the hospital, which people have begun referring to as the morgue.
    As ghastly as it is, the situation at Port-au-Prince's general hospital has improved in the last 48 hours, said the hospital's director, Alix Lassegue. At first there was no water and no electricity.
    "We're beginning to receive more and more supplies and medications and medical teams from abroad to speed up care," Lassegue said.
    Still, any sense of order at the hospital complex was disrupted by disorder outside its iron gates. As the sun began to go down, Haitian police rushed in a man with two gunshot wounds -- and a body bag.
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