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Blog Entries posted by butch1977
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California is on lockdown again. I've bedn miserable and in pain, ths kidney stones are hurting, the toothache. Recovery from my appendix ruptured. And getting dumped has be brokenhearted and devastated. It's been a real struggle. It's Christmas time and Christmas make me really sad.
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I'm really sad. It's the worst ever. Getting dumped, surgery, and more bullshit. My life has fallen apart. I think we are on lockdown too. I hate my nightmares they have always been scary. Now, my life is worse than a living nightmare. It's awful. Now, i wish that my nightmares were my reality. Because feeling sad and devastated is unbearable. So ive been trying to keep myself busy. Im having an episode of mania. I'm going to teach myself to play the piano too. I'm sick of crying.
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Dr. Stella!
By butch1977,
https://www.instagram.com/p/CDSY970lOWi/?igshid=yd9htnykq577
Well i haven't been on lately. Ive been having some manic emotional episodes. No bueno, I'm not going to repeat my feelings. I'll post my Ig post where I express myself.
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So I've been really feeling sad, Sadder than the usual, I miss my husband.
I always have had nightmares and i just recently discovered that my bad dreams are night terrors. I hate it, I have this recurring nightmare that I'm on a sinking ship.
Ever since I got back from Oregon I've really been sad.
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George Floyd a black man was murdered by a white cop. I haven't watched the video.
The world is in a state of chaos. I was already depressed enough.
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Blue Alien
By butch1977,
So I'm smoking this dank called blue alien it's really good I'm stoned I feel like Maria I be in a deep depression it's really awful. I don't like all of this judgment and death I just think it's tainted I want none of thismb,
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Well I'm able to post on Facebook but I'm being threatened with suspension for 30 days if I violste the terms. Facebook is bullshit. It's depressing and too much drama at least. Here on Icon it's a ghost town.
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Home Again
By butch1977,
Well I'm back home in California, it was so nice to see my husband. Oregon is a really beautiful state it's so green. I knew it was going to be emotional and I was right. When the plane took off I was in tears. Wearing a mask and crying while saying goodbye to loved ones is a drag!
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So tomorrow I'm taking a plane to Oregon and im going to see my husband. I'm so excited. I'm trying to remain as calm as I can, with this pandemic bullshit happening. So tomorrow i will be going in an Airport and on a plane and I have to wear a mask. Isn't that bizarre. The fear isn't terrorists anymore!
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So ive been in a real deep depression. My mind is manic as hell. My husband went to Oregon last july. Last year i was on the chopping block and everything went awry. Then he was in oregon and we became a ling distance relationship. When i wasted 16 years of my life and i was in a vicious cycle and he lived in this shitty town called Hemet and he was under 100 miles. It would usually take maybe 1 and a half hours to drive. That was all a joke. But here i am alone during a pandemic and my soulmate is over 1000 miles away.
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- 180 views
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I'm once again blocked on Facebook. I took a screenshot and I'll upload it.
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Dear blog, well now it is required by the law that in California you must wear a mask! There will be a $1000 fine if you aren't wearing a mask. It's unreal, 2 weeks ago my dog died and then last week my cousin died. It's been rough, on April 9 it marks the 20 year anniversary of EXPLICIT getting raped. I've blogged about it before so no need to bring up shitty things. #survivor So it's been emotional like I'm sure everyone is having a difficult time.
I went to Stater bros to do some grocery shopping and i wore a bandana as a mask. Tjis is the twilight zone!
Be safe everyone.
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Dear blog, well now it is required by the law that in California you must wear a mask! There will be a $1000 fine if you aren't wearing a mask. It's unreal, 2 weeks ago my dog died and then last week my cousin died. It's been rough, on April 9 it marks the 20 year anniversary of EXPLICIT getting raped. I've blogged about it before so no need to bring up shitty things. #survivor So it's been emotional like I'm sure everyone is having a difficult time.
I went to Stater bros to do some grocery shopping and i wore a bandana as a mask. Tjis is the twilight zone!
Be safe everyone.
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It is now required by law that everyone in California has to wear a fasce mask. There is a $1000 fine!
We are on lockdown. Jesus take the wheel. Or find me a time machine and take me back to 1987.
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- 187 views
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Yesterday was Vogue's 30th anniversary!
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so here I am its 1:34 a.m.
Lockdown in California
All of this crazy shit in the world. The panic and hysteria is not getting better. It's getting worse
I was already sad and it's hard dealing with bipolar and my.ptsd. I've been having nightmares every night when i do get sleep.
Gotta run,
Cont.
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So I'm blasting Medicine by Jennylo and the whole world is gone awry with this coronavirus bull. The panic buying and paranoia going on is out of control. I've never seen or experienced this kind of behavior. So I'm going to take some bong rips and listen to medicine again.
Everyone wash all your food off.
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So tonight has finally arrived. I see Madame X at the Wiltern. Turn up b*tch
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Only two more weeks until Madame X! Turn up
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November 13
By butch1977,
I just read that the November 12 show at the Wiltern is being canceled due to production elements. I'm glad that I picked the 13th for my show. I didn't pick opening night in l.a. for my choice. So I'm glad I didn't pick that day now I'll be attending my show but it will now be the opening date in la of the Madame X show. I was at opening night of Confessions in Inglewood and it was the bomb!
In other history, tonight is the 4 year anniversary of seeing M in Inglewood for the Rebel Heart Tour
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Phone Ban!
By butch1977,
So with all social media going crazy over the phone issue. I'm glad that the phones are being banned because all of these bozos with their phones out recording during concerts are annoying. 50 something days till i get to see The Madame X show!
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So I'm blasting I'll Remember, I'm feeling the excitement and anticipation! It's like gonna be the bomb! I'm so excited to see her perform at the Wiltern, it's a beautiful theater. Right now, all these bozos on social media.
PAUSE,
I'm having a meltdown. will post later on this .
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- 338 views
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Tonight at around 3:00 am the Perseids Meteor shower is happening. I'm as high as a kite! I'm blasting Selena!
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I'm blasting Dirty Diana and I'm having fun right now. The last month has been a real test. It's almost like the most time I've ever cried my eyes out in my entire life! Right now I'm thinking Marguerite Perrin! Dirty Diana ended and Vogue is blasting! It's the single that I had the cassette single also!
Madonna Madonna Madonna
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I'm really excited, I got confirmation for the Madame X Tour at the Wiltern for November 14. I've been a Madonna fan all my life. I've been reading members posts on the forum and some of the posts are kind of sad. For instance, fans who were members back in the day when u had to pay for membership but when things changed on the website and became free. People now have different statuses. I'm glad im a legacy member, but for long time fans who aren't given legacy status due to dates when they joined the website. That sux. I've seen M for The Reinvention Tour, Coachella, Confessions, Sticky and Sweet, Mdna (awful behind the stage seats) and the Rebel Heart tour. So I know the excitement and anxiety of getting tickets. Madame X tickets are different than any other show. So it's been a new kind of anxiety to get tickets. Good luck and energy to all my fellow Madonna fans.
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