So ive been in a real deep depression. My mind is manic as hell. My husband went to Oregon last july. Last year i was on the chopping block and everything went awry. Then he was in oregon and we became a ling distance relationship.  When i wasted 16 years of my life and i was in a vicious cycle and he lived in this shitty town called Hemet and he was under 100 miles. It would usually take maybe 1 and a half hours to drive. That was all a joke. But here i am alone during a pandemic and my soulmate is over 1000 miles away.