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  happy Halloween

so it's now November 1st and Halloween was yesterday it was decent but I was severely sad and its eally starting to be an issue.

and I having anxiety and these controllable meltdowns or just little things and then I will blubbering mess and it's like I can't pull it together it's it's f****** awful and the feeling of how awful end just like it's a nightmare that's how it is that scared feeling it's it's and it's been getting worse it hasn't been getting better at all and play album was I think I had mentioned that the perp my producer said it would be out by 9 or before Halloween and of well it's Halloween was yesterday and my time in the studio this last week was early too have a longer time to get do more however by the time was cut short because my producer had a appointment for getting a haircut I'm not shiting you and then there was a little talk about it but it's not really important if it was like moving a house in like physical labor not the one to come to but really in getting more disappointed in my supposed best friends I think whenever I'm writing a Blog on here I'm talking about how sad I am and it's but it's getting worse and worse and it's okay I was going to stop beating around the bush if someone says or talks about suicide you one of the things listed in the what you should do is for support to the person who's feeling like that one of them was to Safe safer going to do something and and do it actually do it keep commitments and s*** like that and it also has versus its to be taking taken seriously majorly and if you would it's gotten to the point to where you have been to this more than once like a shitload and getting a little more more knowledge about it and get sentence respond response that is if it's not supportive especially when you say you're going to do something for his and then did it doesn't happen but the social media shows that all of this other stuff is big oh taken care of and addressed and album artwork that I created and this is what I got out of the hospital last year I saw that it was it was you some of it was used but it look like it had been edited somehow is that just rubs me the wrong way and I think it that's like a shity thing to do cuz I don't know about you but a friend shouldn't well sirens there was some Sirens just going by and I thought I was recording this video but I'm writing a Blog what I'm speaking into the of tablet because if I was busy it would be really hard to be typing all of this but to sum it all up I think a response a few weeks ago with is it this weekend we'll talk about the subject of pills and then when that happens it's it's not even mentioned again so I'm trying to. Put as he was identity out there but I remember also blocking about my friends who had really hurt my feelings this is the same friend if there is just Ben selfish behavior on the other part again and again and it's not cool and especially with how the difficult things have been and I'm not I don't want anyone's sympathy but I might just likes some understanding be because friends or anyone basically says it fits they talk about suicide that it's serious and it's not it's not something that's supposed to be I just have really gotten sick of like that total it's very sad and of it's really sad that you can that best friends that you would deduct do it anything for because just because but they will give you the same date when you have someone who if they say they're going to do it and is always there and does it 2 I've seen probably way too much that bye best friends when it when it comes down to it they're more concerned with themselves and that's a pretty selfish it's especially when just laziness on the other part I just took a huge bong rip Police telephone that's another thing why using the speaker on this s*** because it's typing on the phone cats like whoa It's takes even longer so except some of the things that it's it doesn't allow to forward f*** it has the little like simple do you know what I'm saying but how much do and I lost my train of thought but basically tres just one protect this is that and don't expect to be treated nice. And daididau 8% of people are more concerned with themselves and it's really selfish and it's pretty rude especially with these selfish people aren't getting what they want and then they're like complaining to you about it it's stupid and all these people with goddamn amnesia they say something good don't follow through with it you know what like that previous the topic I was talking about so so anyways that's about all that go to bed it's it's already 3 3 a.m. but this sundowning s*** that's black people only old people had that is he what he's


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