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On Christmas Day 1983 an excited six year old boy awoke to a Christmas tree full of presents. I was so excited I forgot about the stocking. I pulled the stocking from the wall after my mother reminded me it was there.


The stocking was filled with small toys, trinkets, and candy. I unwrapped the last small box from the stocking to discover a cassette tape that simply read "Madonna." I was confused by this present. What is it? Who's the beautiful woman on the cover? A six year old boy is not concerned with a cassette tape when he has a floor full of unwrapped toys to dive into. I put this "Madonna" thing back in the stocking and began playing with my tows.


That evening I sat in bed and sorted through my stocking. Candy to the left, toys in the middle, and Madonna on the right. I looked at Madonna wondering who in the world she was? I didn't know who she was, what she was about. I put all the tows away and Madonna went into my cassette player to play the next day.


The next morning I awoke and turned on my cassette player. I listened over and over and over again. My parents became exhausted from hearing the album all day. They finally asked me to turn it off. My parents nor I were familiar with Madonna, but by the end of the night everyone, including my grandparents in Missouri, knew exactly who she was because I told EVERYONE about her. I listened to Madonna for the next year.


In 1984 my father was stationed as a Marine in 29 Palms, CA. Halloween was by far my favorite holiday of the year next to Christmas. My father was able to be home with us instead of in the field behind the mountain range. He took pride in preparing his children for Halloween because it was also his second favorite holiday.


As the evening arrived we rushed outside to join in on the festivities. Halloween 1984 was by far the most memorable Halloween to date. Every young girl on the Marine base was dressed as Madonna. Although I was happy with my costume before leaving the house, I was quickly saddened by all the girls dressed as Madonna. I wanted to be Madonna for Halloween. Isn't that what every young gay boy wants?


The years passed. My collection of Madonna cassettes, CD's, posters, condoms, etc. grew. There wasn't a single day that I didn't listen to one or two albums old and new. There wasn't a day when I was ashamed of being in love with Madonna when everyone in high school made fun of me for it. I love you because every album affected some portion of my life and helped me turn the page.


After high school graduation I entered my true gay world to discover that loving Madonna was the normal. In our world if you don't like Madonna then you like Cher. If you don't like either one of them you might as well go home and not participate in any conversations.


Since 1983 I've listened to every scandal, rumor and lie. I have brushed them off. There is one rumor that I can't brush off. I've read several blogs that mention a farewell tour. I started hearing about a farewell tour a few months ago. I know the day will come that you retire. You've worked hard and you deserve it. I am so sad about it that I'm crying even mentioning it. I have loved you for 31 years. 31 years of music, Madonna therapy, tours, etc. ripped out of my life. You have impacted my life more than my parents and my husband.


You have impacted me so much that I named my company after you. Remember the part about Cher? Since the gay community can't decide who the bigger diva is I rolled you both into one packaged and formed the name Macher (Ma=Madonna - Cher = Cher) Logistics. I know who the bigger diva is that's why my company is named Cherma Logistics. If you don't believe me you can ask Natalie Rojas of Justin Nelson from the NGLCC. They asked me where I came up with the name for Macher Logistics and I told them.


Please know Madonna that I have always loved you. You have always been at the top of the line. No Cher, Britney, Christina, Katy, Beyoncé, and especially no Gaga has been above you. Even when you retire you'll still be my #1. I will live out the rest of my life just as I have the past 31 years. I'll still dance in the shower to remixes of Secret. I'll still buy posters and calendars and I'll always fantasize about meeting you. What would I say? Will she catch me in the wrong outfit? Will she like my Oud Wood cologne? In all reality I'd probably freeze up like I did in Chicago when I won Golden Triangle tickets. You were so close I could see the color of your eyes. I simply froze, and I'm pretty sure you made eye contact with me.


That's it.


I love you Madonna.


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