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Amazon and Some Old Lady



Ok, so why do people sell crappy stuff on Amazon and why does Amazon let them? And why do assholes like me buy it? – ‘cause the deal sounded good.

So I buy this tape from somebody, I was thrilled to get the cassette tape. When I saw it I knew there was something wrong with it. It had the face of a dog that had gotten car-sick. So I opened it and the paper cover didn’t look right, I have another tape, yes, the same one, I collect shit. It’s a Madonna tape in case you are that interested in this stupid story. I saw the ink on the tape smeared, and notice that it wasn’t a fold-out cover like the other tape, and it didn’t smell like a church. It’s the Like A Prayer tape; you would know what I’m talking about if you had it, or know about that Madonna tape, not going into details people, let me finish.

I go to get the other tape and sure enough it was a copy!!! a pirated copy!!! I send an email to whoever sold it to me, I was nice, I didn’t blame them for selling pirated stuff. They probably didn’t know how that cassette should have looked, smelled, etc. Well, whoever sold it to me was an old lady, and I just hate that old people use that as an excuse "well, I’m just an old lady" – well don’t sell shit if you are old and can’t take the heat. First of all, she was pissed because I filed a claim on her wrinkly ass; I was just informing Amazon to let them know what was going on. Well just like any annoyed old people, she wasn’t too happy about it. Never mind that she was selling illegal stuff that can put her spotted skin in jail for the rest of her life, which it shouldn’t be long. No, she only cared about me stopping that claim so she could continue doing her "business" on Amazon. She offered to refund me my money once she got the PIRATED copy back – she is probably going to sell it to some Madonna-illiterate fool. So I sent her the tape, I later got an email from Amazon saying that the refund was being processed. Which it was just for the money that I initially paid, I sent her another email asking if she was going to refund me the money for shipping the PIRATED tape back, she said – taken from her email:


Hi Mr Gonzalez, I don't mean to be rude but I feel that you are playing games. AMAZON initiated your refund about two days ago .Check your credit card records. Sincerely…


***CENSORED***, I didn’t send you an email saying "knock, knock", and then another one with the answer!! Who’s playing games??? This is a Madonna cassette tape… serious stuff here, lady! How would you like it if somebody sold you semi-used Depends?!

Anyways, I’m getting pissed writing this now – ok, so I just replied that I got refunded for the initial payment, not for me sending "THE" tape back and to forget the transaction and NOT TO REPLY. Anyway, I didn’t pay for the shipping, my ex did, I was just trying to make some cash, but hey!! she should’ve paid for it. Just because she is bbf with Death doesn’t mean she can get away with shit.

So why do people do this, and yes I’ve got a mother – she’s getting old, and no she wouldn’t be selling stuff on eBay… or – Amazon, where am I? She can’t use a computer and she is half blind, and I would support anybody kicking her ass for selling "illegal" stuff on the internet.


Anyways, so now I’m fighting with this other company about a g-string, it wasn’t supposed to be mesh!!!


Ok, hours later now – I received an email from Miss Spots 1953. But before this, I put some feedback on her profile and it went something like this:


"Cassette was pirated, which she probably didn't know, I'm not blaming her 4 that. She said she would refund me my money along with the retrn shipping fee. Was rfnded what I initially paid. Not what I paid for sending her the tape back. I was not happy on how she handled the trnsctn. She was more concerned about having a claim made on her than having a happy cstmr, or at least fixing the prblm."

- - -

Does that sound angry to you, well apparently when you get old your reading interpretations get fucked. Oh, I forgot to mention, I left 1 little shine star reflecting my happiness with the transaction.

She didn’t know why I "was so angry", that she gave me "prompt shipping packaged wellplus" (I think she messed up on that sentence) - yeah I got a PIRATED tape very promptly. She also said that "WE RESOLVED" the problem – I don’t have extra money in my pocket, well, my ex doesn’t have any extra money in his pocket – but that’s not the point, "I" made the transactions with her, and she probably doesn’t care how I got the money for shipping the tape back (PIRATED, don’t forget); from the sweat on my forehead, the blisters on my hands or – the soreness from my butt. And apparently she is HURTING. She also said that God would be pleased with me if I removed the negative feedback and for me not to be so evil. Well I’m still gonna be EVIL – I like that – I just hope that God doesn’t punish me. Damn it! why do I have to be catholic and believe in God??? – just kidding God.

I wish I could go back and edit the feedback, but it only gives me the option of deleting it…. now, how much should I charge her per star?

I’m sure I will end up deleting it, she is gonna bombard me with pleading emails. Remember, she is old, I will probably get an email a day for the rest of her – so coming to an end life – hey some of these little bitches go on for years, good luck to me.

Ok, gotta go check my recommendation on Amazon.


Same day, hours later. Who would have thought I would feel intimidated by an old bag, feel like if I’m in the shower scene from Psycho, and I’m not the one holding the knife either… hopefully I’d have my g-string on at least.


A part from the last email;


This refund is for the following item(s):

Item: Like a Prayer
Reason for refund: Customer return

Notes: I forgot about the return postage Please consider this resolved and drop your Vindictiveness and REMOVE the feedback, Peace and good luck to you Sincerely …


First of all granny, it was UPS Second Day, I can wipe my butt with that $2.98 that you are refunding me – or, get, Starbucks.

Can you believe this?????? She sends me peace and good luck, just what I need it for the weekend, I love grandmas.

Note to self: Don’t read you freaking email until Monday morning… but what about my match.com daily matches?

Well somebody is gonna be pissed the whole weekend for having a one little shine star.

I love shopping at Amazon.com

True story - 08/14/09



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