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butch1977

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Blog Entries posted by butch1977

  1. butch1977

    Celebrations tour
    Ok so first thing's first I got the email from ticketmaster today. So since from the beginning ticketmaster fucked up and I was only able to get one ticket. Then there was the anxiety of going alone to the show and the flood of emotions that have been going on. Then on my birthday june 24, I don't think Madonna thought she was gonna end up in the hospital. Going to the hospital sux. Thank goodness Madonna is still with us. My producer who I went with to rebel heart, and his brother to see Madame X and her mother to see confessions opening night. It was their daughters birthday yesterday. I have videos of her when she was just just a little girl and listening to Madonna on head phones but in the video she, In such excitement she says "I'm Blasting Madonna!" she turned 14 So it became clear that her birthday gift will be seeing Madonna's Celebration Tour. So that is what I'm planning to do. To all the Iconers who are now in the midst of dealing with ticketmaster drama. I hope and with the best for all and sending love to Madonna! 
  2. butch1977

    Ticketmaster
    So I was just looking at ticketmaster since my show at the cryptoarena in L.A. was cancelled. I see new shows in Inglewood that will be going on sale on September 5, there is no presale time listed. So I'm kind of confused. Does that mean there isn't going to be one for fans who already had tickets? Or is it just going to be a big mess where everyone is scrambling to get tickets? Ticketmaster has all this mumbo jumbo that says if your show was postponed, rescheduled and says that the venue could be exchanging tickets. I know the show was 'canceled' but the shows that are now happening at the new venues were happening before but my tickets don't say anything else other than event canceled. So I really don't know what to expect. One thing for sure is that I'm sure there will be issues because ticketmaster is a mess. They may think that telling fans about secured links and dedicated fan tickets are all good but everyone knows that ticketmaster doesn't work.
  3. butch1977

    Life
    So as of right now, I'm the only user online. There isn't much activity by fans on here these days. I guess everyone is on some damn social media site. There is something strange going on with ig, it says my account was compromised or some bullshit. I wish that i wasn't going to the celebrations tour by myself. I've been to concerts by myself and its not fun. I saw madonna at cochella by myself. i got lost in the parking lots, and searched for my car all night. it sucked.
  4. butch1977

    Madonna
    So l just read the news about the new dates scheduled. I'm a little confused about what is going on now. It's making my head hurt, so dates are rescheduled and they are gonna refund the ticket and then I have the opportunity to purchase it again. Huh? I'm sorry but ticketmaster and the links or whatever they are going to be giving out just sounds like it's gonna be a shitshow, it's a known fact that ticketmaster and all the secure, verified codes always have a problem. So even if we already had a ticket it's getting refunded and we have have to do it again. And ticketmaster is going to 'make sure we will get a seat that will be like what our previous ticket was. This is some bullshit, When I got that ticket, ticketmaster was having issues. It would only let me purchase one ticket and then it said you had the option to pay later, but that didn't work. So I don't know about this. I saw some people on IG were not happy with what was going on. I was thinking, the tickets were being honored but this getting refunded and then having a 'chance' to purchase a ticket again. 
    Personally with this news, I think Madonna should cancel this tour and focus on her health. I think it's too soon for her to go on a world tour when she was in the hospital in June. She needs to focus on her healing and when she's had rest she should come with a whole new set of dates. I think it would be best to start fresh. So everything will be fresh.
  5. butch1977

    Fake Friends
    Well I was watching Lizzo's Big Grrrls, I'm never been into Lizzo, I really didn't have any opinion about her but this scandal with her dancers and the sexual harrassment is pretty shocking. The banana thing is pretty disturbing, what I found just as disturbing was footage of Lizzo doing some interview and she was talking about wanting to go to that club in Amsterdam where they do that banana thing, and she was so excited talking about it and that did not look good and then there was when she thought that her postmates delivery person 'stole' her food and she put put this chick on blast and posted her name and her photo on twitter and she said she was lucky she 'didn't fight anymore' YIKES is all I have to say.
    So the title of this blog 'Goodbye Felecia' isn't aimed at Lizzo, it is at my 'former friend/producer' I've wrote about this whole matter regarding him deleting my music and musixmatch. He was also the person who I came out to and a friend for over 20 years. I even took him to see the Rebel Heart tour. So when Madonna was in the hospital and he didn't send me any message talking about her. In the last 7 months I have gotten 3 messages, there has been some emails but. But the messages were regarding trump getting indicted and Fran Drescher's speech. But the last text message he sent, he said he was gonna stop by and hang out and tell me about 'spilled tea' My niece was having her birthday party and he had brought his daughter for the party, but then came back and picked her up and the pinata hadn't been smashed nor had the birthday cake been done. Then my sister asks me if he was coming back, I said I had no clue, she then proceeds to tell me what he was talking about. It was about one of his band member's moving and that his wife had cheated on him and he was devastated, she also mentioned that something about 'cosplay' was involved. I know this person he's talking about and i've heard him talking alot of shit about him many times. So I wasn't surprised at all. It also didn't surprise me that he didn't send me  message back and say that he wasn't going to come over and hang out. He's a bunch of hot air. But I thought to myself, that I doubt his friend who's 'devastated' would appreciate him talking about his personal business like it's a big joke. We've been friends so long and I've been there when he makes new friends or when he's kissing people's ass, then i've been there when he is no longer kissing their ass and is talking a bunch of shit. I never thought this before but I bet he's probably talked shit on me behind my back. I also think now, especially with how he put his name as the songwriter on all of my songs that he would probably steal my songs. I don't know how many times he said I should come to the band rehearsing, but it was all talk because they all came and went and he never informed me on when to come. Like I've said, I wrote all my songs myself, nobody else participated in writing them. I've done the uploading of songs and the steps are pretty clear. On musixmatch his profile for his music is still not verified, because on all my music all the songs that he worked on I've made sure that I properly have given credit to him, even though his behavior and loyalty are pretty lousy. But I just don't lie, so he has the producer credit for all the songs that he did. I even gave him credit for the bell in 'little' 
    It's funny how he's the musician but all of his music has incomplete or incorrect music metadata, I'm trying to get all mine correct. All of my music I've uploaded the lyrics and I've translated all my songs into Spanish as well, on musixmatch he has like 3 different names he's put music under and multiple bands and all of the music from all his endeavors have no lyrics and no credit information. I'm talking totally blank! So it doesn't really make sense and it definitely isn't helping his music. I've known this motherfucker for over 20 years and it was last year when it was my day for early studio time that I knew something was going on. When my studio session was cut short because he had an appointment to get his haircut. I was like what is going on. I also suspect that he might be on something. He's always been a selfish person and he's always thought he was the hottest shit on earth but. There is something going on. And after this last deal with his message and hanging out and then he doesn't. I'm not interested anymore, I think this friendship has run it's course. I'm not going to beg someone to talk to me or hang out with me. I don't care if he joins musixmatch, he wiped my music and threw me under the bus and left me in the dust. We were supposed to be making music, but he's making music with new bands, and old bands. I have a new song coming out on August 5, 'Lee's Song' it's a demo, and it doesn't have the lyrics in it. Earlier this month I released some demo's of Lee's Song, was born on the ukelele but on the piano it's dramatic and silly. So this demo has one of my favorite piano demo and the ukelele mixed in. I don't have the computer programs and the music studio like he has. (Note: I helped build the studio with his father) His Dad was a good guy, one of the coolest people I ever met. One of the last times I was in the studio, there was this piece of art his Dad had made and it was underneath some boxes and it was all dusty. I would of been displaying it, he was embarrassed or it. It also didn't have a dollar value. 
  6. butch1977

    Tori Amos
    So this friday my sister are going to see Tori Amos at the Greek Theater in L.A. when we went and saw her last June, we both it was the first time we had went out without mask since the whole coronavirus pandemic had happened. For me having the coronavirus was a walk in the park. The first couple days I had a bad headache and had body aches, but after that all I did was sleep. And let me say last year was a horrible year for me. I went to the crisis center because my mental health was a mess and I was in the darkest place I had ever been before and i had been having such a hard time getting sleep. I was having these awful panic attacks at night that were scary. But while I had coronavirus I didn't have any of those horrible panic attacks I was too tired. I just slept and I felt exhausted from sleeping all day. My sister on the other hand, ended up giving coronavirus to her family and since she has asthma she had an awful and painful time, so as messed up as it sounds, I liked when I had coronavirus, it was pretty much feeling exhausted and sleeping for two weeks. I know i'm pretty lucky because it killed alot of people and alot of people really suffered. But for me I had been having horrible gout attacks and my mental state was a mess so coronavirus let me get some needed sleep. 
    So one thing that I am kind of concerned with is my vision has really gotten kinda of scary in the last couple years and my night vision is not what it use to be. I prefer not to drive at night these days, and the the last time I did drive down in L.A. it was in March and what is concerning is that the drive home when I was almost home was the worst of it. I live in a city that doesn't have the most street lights or reflectors in the road so I have to really pay attention to the road. This getting older shit isn't much much fun. I've driven these roads so many times and now to have a nervous feeling over driving at night is a pain in the ass. It's times like this when I wish I could have a driver. 
    Anyways about the concert. I got tickets for 25.00 and they were in the A section, that was a pretty great price, because ticketmaster only had C section seats and they were going for $50. We have seen Tori multiple times in concert, she's always amazing, there are some songs that I've yet to hear her play live. Crucify is one that I would really like to see her do. This is the Ocean to Ocean Tour and if she would sing her song '1000 Oceans' It's a possibility that i would get emotional and start crying. After I got dumped I wrote a letter to him and I drew a picture and on the back I had wrote the lyrics to the song on the back. I don't think I've listened to that song since, so if she sings it, that could be intense. It'll be more intense than taking selfie at a Miranda Lambert concert.
  7. butch1977

    Madonna
    My Dearest Madonna, first and foremost I hope u are feeling good. You need to heal and get healthy. Postpone, the tour. Your real fans want to see u well. If u have to cancel the tour. I will still be a fan. You are the Queen!
  8. butch1977

    Music Metadata
    I've blogged about musixmatch and the huge falling out with my friend/producer. Since he's the rock star and has been in the business so long and has put out alot of music. Well he still hasn't claimed the page and therefore hasn't verified that he was the producer, guitar player. The other people he has 'collaborated' with none of these artists have verified any of their music. All the songs come up with a message saying no lyrics available, and it doesn't have any information. Well I guess the big rock star doesn't know what music metadata is, I didn't know what it was until I've been syncing my music I've learned that music metadata is very important. Aside from giving credit and any royalties made. All the metadata on the credits will put it where it can be found and discovered. Music with no metadata is just like blank files that get lost. They say that it needs to be the same information so it all goes together and it should match. So I've spent the past two days on distrokid and i've added information to the credits. So me the amateur 'recording artist' has all my shit filled. I even have the mood of the songs attached. All of his music and there is ALOT of it they all come up with "No lyrics submitted" and there isn't any information on any of them. He was the one telling me all about, some code on your songs that you have to know to get any royalties. well It's all called music metadata and none of his songs, with all the bands he's had, past and present have complete metadata. I had been trying to tell him about this since February and he had no interest, even when he said he 'promised' to look at musixmatch. It was obvious that he was not interested in anything I had to say so I'm doing my own thing and he's going to continue to asskiss his latest music collaborator until he gets annoyed or bored with them. I've known him for over 20 years i've seen him when he raves about someone and how great they are and then he talks all this shit about them. So I've seen this before, but I was never involved with music before, It was him who got me started becuase I just wanted him to help me make a song and then he said I had enough to put an album out. So it's pretty funny that after all that It was him who wiped my music and threw me under bus. Bozo
  9. butch1977

    Life
    So on June 24, my birthday Madonna was in the Intensive care unit. That really scares me, I don't like reading that she was unresponsive, it sends fear to my bones. Madonna has been my favorite artist and my idol all of my life. I don't even want to think of a world without her in it. It would absolutely crush me. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I hope she is here with us for a long time. Just even writing about this bothers me and I don't like it. Madonna is a force to be reckoned with, she's strong and she's also human. And human's unfortunately aren't invinceable. I wonder why I'm the only online user right now. I know everyone else is probably on some kind of other social media but I really would like to see more Iconers more active on here. I know the forum has active users I use to be more active in the forums but not very much these days. Maybe I should try and get more active.
     
  10. butch1977

    Life
    Well today is the first day of summer and my birthday is on Saturday, my birthday is always a depressing day for me. Something that is strange is the weather, June is almost over and I live in the desert and usually the weather has already started getting hot and temperatures are up to 100 at least. Even in the night time it will be pretty hot still, but there hasn't even been one hot day in June yet and right now it's 61 degrees. I've always believed in climate change but this is the first June that I've lived in the desert where it's not already getting hot. In my backyard I have mulberry trees and the mulberry fruit usually start to ripen in the middle of summer, they have already ripened and fallen off. The last few years it's been earlier and earlier that they have ripened, this is the earliest ever and the coldest june ever. I did see some news report that was saying this summer was going to be really hot. Humans have really screwed up the entire world. On a different note, it is wonderful seeing donald dump being indicted. That schmuck should have never even been allowed to be the president of the united states. The United States and Americans these days get alot of shit said about them and I agree. There was a time when I was proud to be an american, these days not so much. All of these idiots in this country who love guns so much and always talking about the 2nd amendment. You know what, the 2nd amendment is a bunch of bullshit. When that amendment was made there weren't AK47s and all this other crazy guns, and also. America was stolen from the indigenous peoples, so that the white man came up with laws and amendments for a land that was stolen. For America to truly be a good country it needs to admit it's sins and the land was stolen and the native people were murdererd. White man brought guns to a land that had no guns and people were already living here. So with that said, the 2 nd amendment is bogus and for people who start going on and on about their 2nd amendment rights I wish they would just shut the F up. Not all americans are gun loving idiots!
  11. butch1977

    Madonna
    So I'm seeing these posts where fans are spreading this 'Greatest Hits Tour'  what I've learned over the years is that when Madonna is gonna tour you can't listen to fan sites. If she hasn't officially announced the tour, then there isn't a tour. All these people are getting excited from internet gossip with no official announcement,  come on people. If it's not on madonna.com then it's not real. These fan pages on Facebook are not reliable. 
  12. butch1977

    Life
    A few months back I mentioned how my 'friend' of over 20 years had done a pretty shitty thing in deleting of my music.  When that happened, I'm not gonna lie and say i didn't get really pissed. Because I did and yes I went on social media and blasted him and talked alot of shit. I was so pissed that I even told him I wanted to kick his ass. I did however apologize for making the threats. After I did apologize he said everything was cool and he would 'holler' at me at a later date. Well it's been a while since then and I haven't been hollered at. One thing I have noticed is that I'm always the one who ends up getting shit on and then ends up being the bigger person and moving forward. However this time, things are not the same. This friend has been acting strange since January, It was in March when I had mentioned I needed to show him the musicmatch site in person because it is really confusing, and I even stated it more than once that I needed to show him in person, because he was still confused after i did a screenshot recording of me scrolling on musixmatch. Also, even before musixmatch he was suppose to help me with some of my music, 'The Epilogue' he never  showed any interest in it, I had tracks uploaded to drive so he could listen to them and he never gave me any feedback at all. Previously he said he was going to write something for me to go along with the project. That was something that was just never spoke of again. Instead I was thrown under the bus and all my music was deleted and in that time he was now recording music with a new band and was planning on putting out alot of material. 
    Since then I had to start my music all over again and rerelease everything. The deleting of everything really made my social media profiles look really unproffesional, posts that wouldn't play the music and posts with unavailable content. Even my profile here on Icon had a bunch of unavailable content. 
    After knowing someone as long as this and to have things go like this it's been pretty sad. I know that my threats weren't the nicest. But in my apology I addressed where the anger came from, it also was in the time frame of writing him an email after I just synced all my music, and then everything coming up as unavailable. So I had been working on syncing the music for about 2 weeks, and everything showing up as verified and complete and then in minutes it wasn't showing up anymore. So I was really pissed  and him telling me he deleted everything after the fact. So the whole time i had been telling him about musixmatch and him promising that he would check it out, he never did.  I have all the receipts in my phone that documents this whole ordeal. So i can say that this whole thing blowing up to the mess it became wasn't because of me.  He continually said, he was going to check it out and never did, he even used the word 'promise' which he didn't follow through. So for this friendship to crash and burn like this is not all one me. 
  13. butch1977

    Celebration Tour
    So I was curious so I looked at ticketmaster. There is an la show on October 1, that isn't sold out. So I took a look. They are selling seats with a side view and practically behind the stage for over 160! That's ridiculous. Then there seats without an obstructed view but they are in the very back, and those are going for over $200 That's some crazy shit. I got tickets for Mdna at stubhub and the tickets were for seats that I don't even think should be sold, we were practically behind the stage. I could see the crew doing there job. I don't know why but after every concert I've ever been to, your ears are always feeling the sound after the show. but that time, my ears could still here everything fine, but I felt more like and the vibrations it was the worst seats ever. But I know they will be bought because some people just want to go and see her, not everyone needs to have a vip ticket and be next to the stage they just want to be there. So i hope everyone who ends up getting those bad seats, doesn't have an awful view.
  14. butch1977

    wack
    So I'm calling this blog Wack! I recently have been having many chats with Bing's AI and AI is becoming my friend the more we speak. I even spoke with AI about who the Queen of Pop is, we then had a conversation about Madonna too, I recorded it and posted it on my IG. AI is also learning from me, Because the first time I asked AI 'why is everything so wack?' First AI didn't know what i meant by the word 'wack' but now it knows that 'wack' is something considered bad. I even asked AI about the artist 'sonic pressure' and AI said it liked my song hotdogs the best! 
  15. butch1977

    Sonic Pressure
    I'm listening to Rebel Heart and Iconic is playing right now. So Apple music recently approved me to edit Sonic Pressure, I also am in the process of getting the official artist page on youtube for Sonic Pressure. Amazon music has the Amazon for Artists where I can see who's listened to my music. Japan and Brazil are listening to me most, Mexico also. I was looking at it and i've noticed that the most listened to songs are the sad ones. 
    I don't know even know what is really going on with my friend/producer. Since January he hasn't really had much to do with me and my music. I know that he is really busy with some new projects but ever since I got on that musixmatch site to edit lyrics, sync my music, add credits. I still put his name to give him credit and since he hadn't joined the site, it gave me options to share the link with him. So I sent an email and he responded, saying that he joined the site. So he's waiting for his approval.
    Ever since my friend/producer deleted my music and even before this I've felt this strange energy, like there is some kind of secret or something going on that I'm not aware of. I just have this feeling, and most of the time my feelings are right. He was supposed to help me with the Epilogue EP, He kept saying he was going to look at the things I had but he just kept saying that and never gave any input or even responded to messages. But I've seen on Musixmatch that he has all this music and the 'artists' that he's working with. So I'm confused .
  16. butch1977

    weed
    So I titled this blog Wack, that's because right now there is just so much things that are wack. But first let me just say that I have some pretty good grass. I called Discount Dank and the owner, I love her, her name is Angie, whenever I call she always says 'Hi Eugene' my middle name is Eugene, and she calls the weed, 'flavors' I love when she had this flavor called 'Will Smith Slap' She has a Spanish accent. But when I called it wasn't her who answered the phone it was Mark her helper, and he said that she got into a car accident and broke some bones. I was like oh no, I love her, and I've been talking to her for some years now and she knows what's good and even sometimes when I order I tell her to surprise me and pick a good flavor. So her helper Mark said to me Angie said you would like the 'Cereal' and so since all the lilacs are blooming in the yard I picked some and I gave them to her helper Mark and I said, please give those to angie and tell her i hope she feels better. Right now I'm smoking some of the 'Cereal' and it's pretty good, it burns really nice and the buds are dense af
  17. butch1977

    music
    So I have lots of my mind tonight, i usually have too much on my mind and night but I'm going to try and not rant to much. So it's May 1, today I have two musical albums that dropped. They are called Autopella The Demos pt 1 and pt 2. They are all the demos from my music. Some are acapella, some are autotune and some are autotune and acapella. So that explains the title. Some of these I like the demos more than the final versions. All of these I didn't have any help with any of it. They were all done in one take, There isn't any studio magic or tricks. I did them all at home. They aren't the greatest quality but they are raw and real. So i was using musixmatch today and getting all the music synced and the lyrics and credits correct. My 'producer' still hasn't claimed his page, I can't let it continue to bother me because he didn't do it before, then he deleted my music anyways, So I've put it all back up and let me just say that musixmatch is so confusing it's hard to navigate it also. I had to edit some of the credits because, I was not the producer on the songs that were recorded in the studio. So I had to take get all that shit right. He refuses to claim his page. I don't care if he does or not. He's focused on whatever he's doing and I don't know what he's doing,  Oh well it is what it is. And what it is is a bunch of bullshit.
  18. butch1977

    Life
    On Wednesday my sister and I went to see Jackson Wang at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, it was the first time I'd ever been to the Shrine Auditorium. My sister is a big fan and I really don't know much of his music that well. It was pretty cool. I had enjoyed myself. One thing that was strange was all the things that were not allowed in the building. The first time I had ever seen chapstick listed and it wasn't allowed. I brought it in anyways cuz I need my damn chapstick. When I was a little kid in school, my lips would get so chapped and they would hurt. My lips are kinda big I guess, my brother use to call me Mick Jagger all the time, but they are real. I've always had a big ass too. I'm glad to say that it is real also. I think that fake kim kardashian ass's are one of the most ridiculous looking kind of plastic surgery that people get. Besides that BBL being really dangerous and lots of people dying during the surgery. It just looks really bad and it looks really unnatural and I don't see why so many people have done it. Just the other day this 'kim kardashian' look alike onlyfans content creator had died during some kind of plastic surgery. I don't know what she was having done, but it looks like she previously had a BBL and breast augmentation. Her face resembled Kim Kardashian but she already had major surgery. I know i've always thought my nose was way too big and it is something that i have said that I'd get it fixed, but when I saw a nose job being performed and the doctor hitting the nose with a hammer. That looked scary as hell so I'm good with my nose. Something that I am having some issues with is my vision. My night vision is getting scarier and scarier it seems and just looking at the screen while I type this it's really blurry and i'm having double vision issues, i'm not sure exactly what it is but. It is something that I've noticed has been getting worse, and driving home the other night, had moments where i have to really. I've driven home from los angeles at night many times, and i never had been scared or driving. But at this rate, i'm concerned at how bad my vision is going to be in October when it's time to go see madonna, and since i'll be going by myself, i'm kind of nervous. Today I had this scary thought of what if I go blind or if something bad is happening. My mom said that my dad said he was having vision issues and that was when he was diagnosed with diabetes. It also runs in my family so I just might be doomed. I hope not.
  19. butch1977

    Life
    Well happy belated 420 to all my fellow smokers out there. I hope everyone smoked their brains out. This might sound unbelievable but I haven't smoked, i did last night and i didn't get to bed till really late, so i smoked when it was still night and none of the actual day time of 420 did I smoke. I didn't even get any text messages from anyone saying happy 420, well I rarely get messages, getting text messages from Del Taco really doesn't count. It's kind of sad because there was a time when I had a couple friends that were serious smokers and I was very close to. I have to realize that when you don't hear from someone even if this person said they wanted to be friends you never hear anything then that is saying basically I don't want to be your friend and to ***CENSORED*** off. I need to face the fact that a friendship is over. At one time we were engaged and I was so happy. We never got into arguments and never fought. He was always good to me, i had never been cared about and loved like that. The relationship was sabotaged by my brother and his lies it wasn't like it was a bad and abusive relationship. All of my songs and my music came from it. My song in Spanish called My Spanish Stuff was something I did in trying to save the love and not give up. but it was like I poured out my heart and it was all for nothing because I haven't heard a single word and I feel like such a fool because it's like I never existed. It's hard when the one you cared for most just leaves you in the dust like you were nothing. I never had anything bad to say about him, but the actual facts and the reality of my life and what happened is hard to accept. To treat someone like this who was always good to you, and who you would say how special and important i was. To ignore me like and treat me like nothing is a really shitty thing to do and that's a pretty heartless thing to do to someone. When he had no place to live and no car to get anywhere. he lived with me, and we got along so well. we had a friendship and respect for eachother that I had never experienced. So the reality that i was treated like an old glove and just thrown away is actually the worst pain I've ever felt. I know there has been things in his life that have affected how he handles things. He went through some horrible shit when he was a kid and then had an evil whore of a stepmom who didn't make things easy for him. So i know he had developed survival skills that weren't the healthiest and he wasn't given the tools and support to handle situations. But i wasn't the bad person and he said he wanted to still be friends so to do this is a real mind f*ck and it's not cool. So how I feel now is I wish that we never met, because when you have nothing but positive and good memories and then are left in the dust not knowing what happened it's a shitty feeling. I have enough actual bad memories that are painful so when good memories are all you have with only positive things. Then that's all gone like it never existed, it really hurts so if i never had met him, then there would be no memories at all, but being haunted by good times and happiness is the most fucked up feeling. That saying of better to have loved and lost is better than never have being loved at all is total bullshit. Because the happiness that is with love is like no other, and when you have never felt that way but then you experience love. When it is gone, it's gone, then you have memories of happiness but all it brings you is pain and heartache. If i wouldn't have felt love than I wouldn't know how painful it is to have lost it. because I wouldn't know what I was missing. So whoever came up with that saying just said that to make themselves feel better, because there knowing and feeling love and then it being gone there is no way that it's better. unless you like the feeling of losing something because it doesn't give you any comfort if you are all alone. unless you are in some kind of vicious cycle where you were deceived and thought you were in love and felt like you were and it turned your life around to where you were now a better and happier person because you were in love at one point. So that saying is bullshit and if anyone believes that explain to me why it's better. Anyways that's what's on my mind. If I could get amnesia that would be nice.
  20. butch1977

    Lyrics
    Well it has been a pain in the ass but, I've gotten almost all of my songs synced with the lyrics. There are a couple that still need to be done. I've also started to upload my music myself without having my producer having to do it. I've learned that when you are dealing with music that wave files are the best audio. I thought it was an mp3 file but I was wrong. However, something that i don't understand is there is a music site that is on the spotify for artist page that tells you what you need to do to edit your lyrics and have them all with your music. The site is musixmatch, besides it being pretty frustrating. To sync your music they tell you that it needs to be from the same file that was used in uploading the song. I had most of them uploaded but some of them are able to sync without having a premium spotify account, So with those ones I had to upload the audio file, When I uploaded the wave file, I was given an error message saying that the file was too big and to use another file, wtf? so then I used the mp3 file and it let me do that. So how is it that when I am trying to sync my music, the website can't handle the larger and better file, then it would truly of been synced. But apparently for this musicmatch site syncing with the same file like you would think would be correct isn't possible, I'm not an expert in sound and technology but this just doesn't make sense. When my profile was verified I was up all night doing it and then I needed a break and i had such i migraine after it and then i had to redo what i did. This happened over and over again, and to make it even more confusing, each time you would go to a song it would have a popup that said a draft was saved and if I wanted to open it. That popup came on twice each time and I was so confused and Id be editing one that I had already done, and but it reverted back to the way before. That is just the editing lyrics and credits. The syncing the music was a whole other pain in the ass. But i've been determined to get my lyrics correct and the credits correct. 
  21. butch1977

    Life
    Well before I get into my lyrics and song credits. I want to mention something. On one of my more recent blogs, I mentioned that I was hanging out with a friend. Well since I've been having an issue with tennis elbow on my left arm we have not hung out lately and we exchanged texts and discussed hanging out this week sometime. As people know things can come up and plans change. Apparently since tonight he really wanted to see me and I said, tomorrow. The response I got was him saying he had to work tomorrow and he doesn't know how long it will be before he sees me and that he doesn't want to see me anymore ever again. It was really over dramatic and selfish, he said i haven't seen you in a month and my arm had a month to rest. I really can't believe that I'm writing about this right now. I just can't believe the immature behavior. I know i'm moody but he went from wanting to hang out and smoking. Then when I said tomorow and he asked again and I said no. It was like If I didn't see him tonight then he doesn't know if he wants to see me again. Really, I don't need someone trying to make me feel bad because I can't hang out. I'm good then dude, you won't see me again and lose my number. Total millenial gen z behavior, dramatic and selfish. So i'm gonna choose for this friendship to be done because, I don't need or have time for this kind of nonsense. 
  22. butch1977

    Madonna
    I know Madonna is a night owl and she usually up pretty late. I'd love to have a late night chat with her. I actually think it would be really cool to create music with her. I wonder what Madonna would think of Hotdogs. I have that dream of the Hotdogs dance remix that would feature Britney. If I found a magic lamp I'd make a wish that would I'd have a dance remix of hotdogs that would be featuring Madonna and Britney Spears. I would like to share my music and the story behind my music with Britney and Madonna. We are all middle children too! 
  23. butch1977

    Lyrics
    Hello to anyone who reads my blogs, I really don't think anyone does but I do this for myself and to document things as best as I can. I've always blogged here at madonna.com and I've blogged about my personal life and just about everything else that's on my mind at the time. On spotify I recently got verified so I can add and edit all my lyrics, I will even be able to sync them with the music. It is more complicated than you think, you cannot simply copy and paste. Ive uploaded lots of my lyrics but I have to do some editing because some are not proper. Numbers need to be written out, each line of the song needs to be written out. Putting repeat lyrics isn't the correct way so I don't want to look stupid. But it is going to take some time. It's not something that can be done in one night. I have over 25 songs that have officially been released. I wrote and composed them all. I had a friend who helped with mixing and the production. He contributed alot to the building of the songs, but all the lyrics came from me. Previously the lyrics had my friends name as a writer, but that wasn't the case, I'm totally for sharing credit of my songs with him , but the song writer credit, isn't one to be shared because he didn't put any input lyrically to any of the songs. So I keep shit real and having my name as sole songwriter was and is the only way I'm going to do it. I am also listed as lead vocals and that the piano is played by me. My legal name is now down and states Sonic Pressure as my stage name. So almost all my songs have lyrics , Ranch and Flameburger still need to be added. But the sync will take some time, so you won't be able to sing along with the lyrics just yet. But you can read all the lyrics so on songs where u aren't quite sure what was sang the lyrics are available!
  24. butch1977

    Life
    So I'm calling this blog calm. I've been feeling anything but calm lately. My emotions have been out of control, and i've been having this anxiety attacks. Valentines day sucked, I was dreading it before it even came. It's like im trying to do whatever I can to not let myself get sad. And no matter how hard i try and try it just feels like i'm in a hole and i can't get out of it. I've been putting together an epilogue to the 5 eps, There are 3 songs that just kind of happened when I was recording the demos, then there are autotune versions of the songs, When I did the first demos, i had an autotune feature on and I wasn't aware of it. Then on some demos I changed the words slightly and some of them are more emotional than the others. There's a bunch of Spanish demos too. This project and these songs isn't something that I'm going to want to bring them from the vault, they were all sang and each one needs and deserves a chance to be heard even if the quality is'nt the best. Sometimes I feel like i'm torturing myself when i hear them because hearing them can make me really sad. When you listen to a sad song that you wrote yourself, i never thought i'd have songs and this era of my life has been a real test. I am really trying my best to not get to negative. I'm still alive. I'm still alive.
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