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butch1977

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  1. butch1977
    I'm blasting Dirty Diana and I'm having fun right now. The last month has been a real test. It's almost like the most time I've ever cried my eyes out in my entire life! Right now I'm thinking Marguerite Perrin! Dirty Diana ended and Vogue is blasting! It's the single that I had the cassette single also!
    Madonna Madonna Madonna
  2. butch1977

    11 years Ago

    By butch1977,


    Madonna
    It was 11 years ago tonight that I went to the MDNA Tour at the Staples Center. My facebook page had it in the memories today along with videos and photos I had posted. It was the worst seats I've ever had, we were practically behind the stage. From my seat I could see members of the crew and people working behind the stage. It was terrible seats also, most of the time after a concert your ears are kind of plugged. I remember that not being an issue but what I do remember was that the vibration from the sound had me feeling more nauseous than anything. I got those awful seats from stubhub, there were actually even more seats that were worse than mine and they were all occupied. Obstructed views are one thing but being able to see the stage crew hanging on pulley's and other things was ridiculous. It should be against the law to sell seats that bad. That is one good thing I know for sure that my seats for the celebration tour aren't an obstructed view they are in the first row of the section I am in and it's from a front view of the stage not the side. I remember being excited when about the MDNA dvd coming out because my view at the actual concert was shit. But the botched DVD, I put it on and it before Madonna even appeared the picture pixelated and froze up, I returned it to Amazon and the replacement did the same thing. Then Amazon refunded my money and said it was no longer available, So after trying to purchase it and not being able to that was when I illegally downloaded it. What other choice did I have. I still believe that it was sabotage, because after all the years of buying Madonna merchandise, I never had a problem with anything not playing or not working. Also where the dvd started to pixelate was very suspicious, it was right when Madonna was going to be seen. Who knows I could be reaching for straws but that is just what I thought. That was before I owned a blu ray player but I remember there were people having issues with the sound on the blu ray as well. Also at the Mdna tour they ran out of tour programs, how the hell do you run out of programs at a show in Los Angeles?
    When I went to see Madame X, I got the poster and it ended up with a big crease in it because they 'didn't have rubber bands' That really didn't bother me because I saw the crease as evidence and a memory of a great show, but still a rubber band would have helped because the poster was thick paper and it didn't really stay rolled up it kept unrolling itself. I do prefer to buy the programs online after and have it mailed because then it's not damaged. 
  4. butch1977

    200,000

    By butch1977,

    So today it has been raining and cold all day. I watched the Little People Big World marathon. I love that show. I support the LP comunity.
    Anyhow, last night I made a donation to help the people in Haiti, I felt like it was my duty. I remember being in second grade and We are the World was the anthem for USA for Africa. My teacher Mrs. Lowery, I loved her, i remember her playing it and seeing a film in the auditorium about all the starvation and horrible things. I remember how I loved Michael Jackson my whole life just about and I remember bringing money to school because I wanted to help. It wasn't that much but seeing people in pain and more made me feel terrible. Ever since then I've always donated to good causes. When Michael passed away I started to think about the impact he had on my life. I wanted to help people and Michael had alot to do with it. I'm sure some of you feel me. I know if Michael was still alive he would help in any way he could. When I read today that 200,000 people have died and I read today about all the animals that need help too. I am a huge animal lover and when I read about all these poor people and families I had a emotional meltdown. It is another horrible tragedy, in our life time. September 22, the Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, and now Haiti.
    In 2008 I lost my uncle, my grandpa (he was 93), my baby nephew, I was there when he was taken off life support it was the worst experience of my life. When I left the hospital I remember blasting Hard Candy my way home. Then in November my cat White Eye who was 18 years old passed away. He was a persian and beautiful, he was the only kitten his mother had (Cookie) he was born at our house and he was part of the family. It was so sad I can't explain it. I had two dogs pass away also, Ole Boy and Samantha. I remember saying to myself that if anything else I loved died I was going to go catatonic.
    Then on June 25, the day after my birthday, Michael Jackson one of my idols had passed away, Also was Farrah Fawcett and just recently Brittany Murphy. One of my dogs Jack passed away this summer too. I hate death it  ***CENSORED*** sucks.
    I am so tired of all the pain and suffering in the world, we need a celebration. So that is just another reason why I've been blasting Celebration, it can make you stop crying and wanna dance. also the message just makes you feel good.
    Well I guess I'm just thinking and typing my mind out.
    'There is so much destruction what I want is a celebration'
    xoxo
    buzz
  5. butch1977

    2014

    By butch1977,

    So here is my first blog of 2014 on Icon. So far this year has been full of Madonna haters. So she wears a grill. I luv the Grill! Yeah she dropped the N Bomb.
    I still luv her. The only problem I had was the pic of Rocco and friends with the alcohol bottles. Other than that. Still luv her and always will.
  6. butch1977

    2022

    By butch1977,


    yikes
    Happy New happy New Year it's 2022 so far this year is already sucked really loudly right now and I'm kind of sad and I've high as a kite today was the Rose Parade and I used to always love watching the Rose Parade and what wake up early to watch it that was so stupid that all the one of the flowers apparently was rice it's so stupid
  7. butch1977

    25 Years Ago

    By butch1977,


    Life
    So 25 years ago today Britney Spears released her first single! And tomorrow her book comes out! Also my song 'Flameburger' is going to be released again! Today I my Confessions on a Dancefloor record arrived in the mail, it's really beautiful, on the weekend I got my Glory record. That is the first Britney record that I have. 
    In other news, those fake friends that I have mentioned pulled another cowardly act, my niece was visiting and she sent their daughter a text because they are friends. They didn't even have the decency to come to the front door and when she left it must have all been arranged by text message. After this bullshit, I posted to my social media without naming them but to anyone who knows me will know who the post is about. These two schmucks have got to be the most selfish people I have ever known. My ex producer is such an arrogant prick and his wife is a gaslighting ***CENSORED***. I regret taking both of those assholes to see Madonna in concert. Now it makes perfect sense that in my phone she is listed as Jamie Lynn. These two think really highly of themselves and they are nothing but fake frauds. 
  8. butch1977

    3 EPs down 2 to Go

    By butch1977,


    Music
    My plan is to finish this musical project before the year is over. I redid all the demos except a couple. I have already wrote a bunch of sonnets for the next project. It's a different subject matter. I've been working on this music project for almost a year. I have put my heart and soul into it. It's still very difficult and it hurts  that I haven't heard a word from the person who was the inspiration.  The hurt hasn't went away, the love never went away. The hurt has only grown to sad and lonely bitterness.  I know what we had was very special but it's like it was erased. But it was real and it was a fairytale because while it lasted, I loved every moment,  but with how painful this is. I wish we would have never met. To feel love like you had never known was possible and the positive things that love does. To lose that love because of sabotage just makes it even more a shitty situation. It's almost like a battle to keep the sadness away. I'm just so unhappy I'm trying everything I can to keep myself busy and occupied. Feeling rejected and unloved is such a lonely shitty place.
  10. butch1977

    420

    By butch1977,


    Life
    Well happy belated 420 to all my fellow smokers out there. I hope everyone smoked their brains out. This might sound unbelievable but I haven't smoked, i did last night and i didn't get to bed till really late, so i smoked when it was still night and none of the actual day time of 420 did I smoke. I didn't even get any text messages from anyone saying happy 420, well I rarely get messages, getting text messages from Del Taco really doesn't count. It's kind of sad because there was a time when I had a couple friends that were serious smokers and I was very close to. I have to realize that when you don't hear from someone even if this person said they wanted to be friends you never hear anything then that is saying basically I don't want to be your friend and to ***CENSORED*** off. I need to face the fact that a friendship is over. At one time we were engaged and I was so happy. We never got into arguments and never fought. He was always good to me, i had never been cared about and loved like that. The relationship was sabotaged by my brother and his lies it wasn't like it was a bad and abusive relationship. All of my songs and my music came from it. My song in Spanish called My Spanish Stuff was something I did in trying to save the love and not give up. but it was like I poured out my heart and it was all for nothing because I haven't heard a single word and I feel like such a fool because it's like I never existed. It's hard when the one you cared for most just leaves you in the dust like you were nothing. I never had anything bad to say about him, but the actual facts and the reality of my life and what happened is hard to accept. To treat someone like this who was always good to you, and who you would say how special and important i was. To ignore me like and treat me like nothing is a really shitty thing to do and that's a pretty heartless thing to do to someone. When he had no place to live and no car to get anywhere. he lived with me, and we got along so well. we had a friendship and respect for eachother that I had never experienced. So the reality that i was treated like an old glove and just thrown away is actually the worst pain I've ever felt. I know there has been things in his life that have affected how he handles things. He went through some horrible shit when he was a kid and then had an evil whore of a stepmom who didn't make things easy for him. So i know he had developed survival skills that weren't the healthiest and he wasn't given the tools and support to handle situations. But i wasn't the bad person and he said he wanted to still be friends so to do this is a real mind f*ck and it's not cool. So how I feel now is I wish that we never met, because when you have nothing but positive and good memories and then are left in the dust not knowing what happened it's a shitty feeling. I have enough actual bad memories that are painful so when good memories are all you have with only positive things. Then that's all gone like it never existed, it really hurts so if i never had met him, then there would be no memories at all, but being haunted by good times and happiness is the most fucked up feeling. That saying of better to have loved and lost is better than never have being loved at all is total bullshit. Because the happiness that is with love is like no other, and when you have never felt that way but then you experience love. When it is gone, it's gone, then you have memories of happiness but all it brings you is pain and heartache. If i wouldn't have felt love than I wouldn't know how painful it is to have lost it. because I wouldn't know what I was missing. So whoever came up with that saying just said that to make themselves feel better, because there knowing and feeling love and then it being gone there is no way that it's better. unless you like the feeling of losing something because it doesn't give you any comfort if you are all alone. unless you are in some kind of vicious cycle where you were deceived and thought you were in love and felt like you were and it turned your life around to where you were now a better and happier person because you were in love at one point. So that saying is bullshit and if anyone believes that explain to me why it's better. Anyways that's what's on my mind. If I could get amnesia that would be nice.
  11. butch1977

    44

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    So on June 24th I turned 44. I really hate birthdays they're awful right now it's like 12:30 in the morning and I'm feeling really lonely and really sad I can't I'm so sick of it. So I'm trying to keep my mind on other things so I decided I will work on this blog I don't know about that onlyfans s*** it's I have for the picture I put up a picture that was not something I do usually put up and it was at onlyfans crap so I'm going to put a picture of my ass on here it's not like I was doing something obscene and I gave zero F's so but I also have told personal stories that where could be shocking to some interesting to self but I've cuz I get all these messages from right cheek it's really dirty stuff and there's a price next to it that's pretty sad she has went down so far so fast she's asking me if I want to see her do these really vulgar things and she's calling me Daddy I'd rather watch the orphan when she goes daddy daddy so I really love the orphan I've been watching the orphan the past I like two weeks oh and on my only fans page you can go and watch the Orphan, hell house 2 the Abaddon Hotel, Victim and other good things 
  12. butch1977

    8 Years Ago

    By butch1977,


    Life
    So on Facebook 8 years ago I posted about it being the opening night of The Rebel Heart Tour. I can't believe 8 years have went by. It's hard to believe how much has changed in my life since then. 8 years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship with a real asshole. I remember taking my exfriend/producer to see the Rebel Heart Tour in Inglewood  at the Forum. Then I remember getting bitched out after the concert and being accused of all kinds of things from the asshole. It wasn't long after that when I found out that he was cheating on me. 16 years wasted with a closetcase who never gave a shit about me. I took that loser to see the Mdna Tour.  Now in 2023 I'm single and I no longer speak with my friend. Him and his wife were suppose to be my best friends and they both ended up stabbing me in the back. What shocks me is that she turned out to be a real ***CENSORED*** and her husband didn't have the balls to speak to me in person. But it is what it is. I know that I was always a loyal and good friend. I have receipts to prove it. I also have the receipts to show that they weren't good friends. It's a shame but that's life.
  13. butch1977

    A Cold Lonely Night

    By butch1977,


    Life
    Christmas has only gotten sadder as I've gotten older. I've become quite the Scrooge. The last five years of my life have been pretty chaotic. During this time something happened that turned things around and I was celebrating christmas. i was in love and I was actually happy. I miss that feeling. What is difficult is dealing with the aftermath that has been left from my brother. I would have not gotten dumped by email if my brother wouldn't have sabotaged things. I'm not just making up stories or trying to blame others without merit. My brother deliberately made up lies and created drama in the family. He's been doing it all his life. He wore a bug for the cops and his wife and all her family went to prison, not him. When I was a teenager, he was found beaten up and thrown in a dumpster. Why did that happen, well my other brother said 'he dropped the dime' So that gives you an idea of his character. I've always tried to help him with anything I could. There was even a time I was writing letters to judges about having his kids come live with my family because his parental rights have all been terminated. I went out of my way to help him. It was soon after my first plane flight to oregon and when we drove back. (my song FOTC tells the story) But it was when I got home he told me that i was 'on the chopping block' I didn't know what he was talking about but in the coming months with his constant pot stirring he created this awful oppressive and negative energy the atmosphere was the worst. What is the most fucked up thing was he was doing this to me on purpose, he was telling straight out lies and talking shit on me and I've never done anything to him. He's stole from everyone in my family. So . Will finish later
  14. butch1977

    A Grinder Story

    By butch1977,


    Life
    So as much as I feel like a douche for using grinder but I'm gonna share a story. About 2 or 3 years ago I spoke to this dude on there plenty of times. We flirted but had never met eachother. Then I didn't see him online for a couple years and a few months ago, he appeared online and we started to chat. He's a cute guy, and he never said anything that was strange or creepy. So we met in the end of October, It's no secret how lonely I've been and i've really needed and wanted someone to talk to. When we were getting acquainted, we were talking about our zodiac signs and he said I was his perfect match. He said my sign Cancer avoids all red flags and at the moment I didn't really think about it or take offense at it. We made out and fooled around. I was enjoying his company, There's alot that I'm not going to get deep into but when the time was coming for me to leave and when I said I needed to leave he started trying to make me feel bad and started to talk nonsense saying things and assuming shit. I was taken aback. I told him that he was wasn't correct. But when I made it clear I needed to leave he started acting like a ***CENSORED*** and this really turned me off and I didn't think it was cute anymore. So after I left on my way home I was thinking, that was strange and the red flag comment was going through my head. Then I was replaying moments that were clearly red flags and I was realized that he showed me quite a few red flags during the time we spent together. And all of the red flags that I experienced were a little concerning to me. With that being said, I thought it would be of my best interest to cut it right there and I chose to take those red flags as warnings and stop anything before it went anywhere else. He made it clear that he wanted a boyfriend, and the last time I ignored red flags I ended up in a 16 year vicious cycle of bullshit. So I've stayed off grinder and I have been laying low and have been spending time with my cats and playing with my furbies! Lmao
  15. butch1977

    A Week Ago

    By butch1977,


    Celebration Tour
    I've been meaning to write a blog about The Celebration Tour, there has just been alot going on and I haven't had the time. Before I get into it I want to mention that today I had a doctor's appointment to discuss my recent labwork and the Dr. told me I had Diabetes so that really sux. 
    Last Monday I saw Madonna at the Forum in Inglewood, my brother went with me and we had an awesome time! Our seats were great and the two chicks sitting next to us were pretty cool. One of them asked me, what time did I think Madonna would hit the stage, and I said 11, So when Madonna hit the stage at 9:30 I was shocked! My brother had a good time and enjoyed himself and I loved it. I was just so happy that I was able to see my favorite artist of all time perform live again. When Madonna went to the hospital on my birthday last summer that was very scary. I've seen Madonna at the Forum for the Reinvention Tour, Confessions, Rebel Heart but this was the first time the Forum had her name in lights and her photos around the building. It was pretty cool. The one thing that I didn't understand was the merch bags, somebody dropped the ball and the cheap plastic bags ended up something I joked about all night. It didn't make any sense that the tour celebrating her 45 year career for the biggest selling female artist of all time, the Queen of Pop who's merch bags have always been top notch that said the name of the tour. Someone on her team needs to get demoted because that was not up to par! 
    I spent the night at my brother's house and the next day he took me past our old house in Carson, I haven't seen that house since we left in 1990 it was so strange. The next part of this blog is sad, last year my brother's good friend, over over 30 years had a stroke and he has been put into hospice. He's always been cool with me and I know my brother has been visiting him and he's been taking it really hard. It was one of the saddest things i've ever experienced. Seeing my brother with his good friend who isn't even able to speak was so hard. It was heartbreaking. I am going to write more about the show. But just thinking about this has really got me feeling sad and I'm gonna finish this later.
  16. butch1977

    Amnesia

    By butch1977,


    Life
    I really wish I could have amnesia. Becuase if I did I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be up at 3:30 am on using the kim kardashian hollywood app. I first downloaded that years ago. It's like grinder i've deleted it then downloaded it again. i never really got into the game much but the last few weeks, I've been getting really sad and at night it gets pretty sad. I'd much rather be on the kardashian app at 330 then talking to some asshole on grinder because i'm lonely. Anyways on the app, i just got married. One of the games was to go on a date with one of the characters. So I went on dates with Jacob Smith and the way the characters talk to each other it's really hokey but i think its cool. it always has the option on the date to continue the date or to break up. But i would always accept him calling. Yesterday the option came up to propose, and i chose to propose and then got married. Now whenever my character goes to one of my homes in hollywood or downtown la, whenever i go into the downtown la condo not only is my cat and fish in there but Jacob is in there and he tells me how he loves me. Then in my hollywood condo my dog will be there and Jacob is there also and he always tells me he loves me. I wish I could have amnesia or turn my life into the app and have someone tell me how much they love me. Yesterday when i read it and it said your husband, i first got this sad feeling and i keep the sad feelings away but they are always there. If I had amnesia then there would be no memories that are going to make life painful, i could make all new ones. Being haunted by good memories is something I never thought I would believe but when sabotage comes into the universe. Things are turned upside down and you just have to hold onto whatever you can because you have no control over anything 
  17. butch1977

    Anal?

    By butch1977,

    LMAO! I'm sure the title made a few people curious. Anyhow, I was wondering if I was being too anal about something. I received my Celebration 2 Disc and the DVD from Amazon. (however Amazon mailed it to me the day AFTER it was released) anyhow. I love it but when I listened to it. Like a Virgin was playing and I said out loud to myself. This in NOT the original it is the version from The Immaculate Collection. I myself love the original it doesn't have that sound before the chorus and that chiming bell sound during the chorus. The original goes 'Can't you feel my heartbeat, for the very first time' at the end. The remix fades before. I thought to myself am I being an asshole? Though I know other fans would know exactly what I'm talking about. I haven't fully played and listened to it all the way through but I think that Erotica might be the version from GHV2.
    I'm not disappointed cuz, I got excited hearing 'Express Yourself' cuz that version isn't on Like a Prayer or The Immaculate Collection. Also the version of 4 minutes that was different from Hard Candy was delightful.
    I would have liked to heard Where's the Party, Gambler, True Blue, Give it 2 Me, Jump, American Life, Love Profusion, Like it or Not, Rain and some other hits. I guess only 'Real' diehard fans would feel me.
    The DVD is great too, but once again am I being too anal?
    I hoped it would have had; True Blue, Dear Jessie, American Life (both versions), Bad Girl, the alternate Get Together, Oh Father, Nothing Really Matters. It would have been the bomb if they had included M's American Bandstand performance, or some of her VMA showstoppers and I would have really liked to see her when she blended Billie Jean into her own hits. I'm sure some people feel me.
    Anyhow, that is my rant for the day.
     
    Toodles.
     
    Sonic Pressure!
  19. butch1977

    Beyond sad

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    My dog Rafael passed away unexpectedly.  I've have been in a deep depression. Tjis had made my already fragile state of mind into a nose dive. It's eeally difficult.  Being an empath on top of it.  Id rather be having a nightmare because nightmares aren't real and wake up. I so sad and lonely. Im so damn stoned 
  20. butch1977

    Blue Alien

    By butch1977,

    So I'm smoking this dank called blue alien it's really good I'm stoned I feel like Maria I be in a deep depression it's really awful. I don't like all of this judgment and death I just think it's tainted I want none of  thismb, 
  21. butch1977

    Boring

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    So apparently the vmas were on. Mtv has become a joke and the vmas have sucked for years now. I did see that Madonna was there from her ig post. When i was reading the comments, it was really disheartening to see how mean people can be. Even her so called 'fans' are talking shit. I did see some real fans. Her ensemble was interesting.  Well Madonnas ensembles have always been on the next level, the vma ensemble wasn't my favorite but Madonna does what she wants and always has. One thing that bothers me is the ageism. The 'old' comments were really mean. One thing is people are so disrespectful and she is a legend and she deserves respect especially while she is still alive. I don't even want to think of life without her in it.
  22. butch1977

    Boston postponed

    By butch1977,


    Celebration Tour
    I'm  not sure of any official news but I'm seeing posts on Facebook about the Boston shows getting postponed. It's getting all these fans freaked out. 
  23. butch1977

    Bozos

    By butch1977,


    Celebration Tour
    So I just read about those two bozos that are suing Madonna and Livenation. I can just imagine these two queens must be like. This is so ridiculous, I bet they must be really cool to hang out with. LMAO 
  25. butch1977

    Britney is my spirit animal

    By butch1977,


    Mood
    After i just saw a news story about Brit,  it just set in stone how my life and Brit's life intertwine,  the headline said, 'Britney rides motorcycle after putting family on blast' i love her.  I myself posted a meme on my ig of how i hate my brother including its very own scathing caption. So I'm totally for Britney to talk trash on family!
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