butch1977

Tonight I went and saw the new Exorcist movie. It wasn't the worst movie ever but I was really hoping that Pazuzu was going to be getting crazy. Some of it or actually most of it I was kind of confused. The more I think of it, the movie was really actually a mess. I did like when the line 'Your cunting daughter' being said but for the most part it seemed like a big mess it was all over the place. It's like it's trying to be connected to The Exorcist, then it starts getting into something different. The fact that the church didn't authorize the exorcism and the priest said he couldn't be involved with it. So then a nurse, decided she was going to do the exorcism. Because she wanted to be a nun before a nurse. Ok, SPOILER So the movie was pretty much a piece of shit, but the last minute, Linda Blair had a cameo and we saw Regan reunite with her Chris Macneil. The rest of it was a disappointment. Anyways, I saw someone on IG posted a supposed 'setlist' that Madonna posted, It had a bunch of medley's. Why the ***CENSORED*** would she do medley's. This is her tour not some festival or award show. Whenever a tour starts, I never want to know the setlist and I won't watch any of the videos people post. I did see someone say that he believed Madonna would hit the stage by around 8:30, Lmao, my guess was about 11:15, but I did read that the O2 has a curfew so that might be a game changer.

So we all know how much ticketmaster sux ass. I mentioned that I on ticketmaster, I didn't qualify for the pay monthly plan. But I did qualify for the 4 payment option. Since this is apparently suppose to help people who aren't rich. You would think that it would be each month, well if you thought that you are wrong. Early they took a payment and just a couple days ago was another payment. If you ask me that's some pretty shady shit. I really don't like that they use the guise of these payment plans are to help you out. Ticketmaster didn't even release the refunds until they day before the new sale started. But some people still haven't got refunds so I guess I didn't get totally screwed. Regardless, ticketmaster is crooked bullshit and they will continue to screw everyone over. Anyways, I saw the tour merchandise that's in Madonna's store. I'm about to talk some shit here, but these shirts look like the knock offs that people sell in the parking lots, actually I've gotten knock offs that have a better design. The Blonde Ambition shirt is pretty cool, but the others are not up to par in my opinion. I'm not a fan of the contorted images, I think they look cheap and the image on the back, the big square with the same font with the dates, Madonna's tshirts have always been really cool and the details have always been on point. This just looks like standard format. As much as I can't stand taylor swift, her store has a shitload of shirts, clothes, and other shit. I think she even has a seperate store that only has vinyls. I'm not sure who is exactly in charge of Madonna's merchandise, but she could be making even more money if there was more merchandise. Because there are some fans who have already bought the new shirts and there are many fans who love spending money on Madonna. So that Madonna the queen of pop doesn't have a bunch of vinyls is a little confusing to me. Does Guy Oseary not see this, this could make him alot of money too so it doesn't make sense. ***UPDATE*** New information online about Taylor Swift's Era's Tour Merch, Well after seeing a story about how expensive her merch and that the shirts and hoodies were fading after the first wash. Swifties are showing there merch and are not very happy about it. They even have some tips you can do to keep them from fading, however it includes ironing and parchment paper. WTF? lmao. Apparently her team is saying that it is suppose to fade and have a vintage worn look. But I saw people who knew some things about shirts and the process when they are made, and some were saying that with this parchment paper trick , that they rushed the merch. So maybe having a huge selection of poorly made merch is just wack. I also noticed the new bag for charity that Madonna helped design. It was pretty cool. I'm just not a fan of the tour 'logo' When Confessions came out, they had shirts where you could choose the design and you could design it yourself. It was pretty cool. I'd like to see something like that again. I wonder if there will be any contests this time around.

I had an my appt with my shrink today. Today I told him about my 'friend/producer' deleting all my music. I even brought up Madonna and the concert. Over the years I've seen counselors, therapists, psychiatrists, quacks. My favorite shrink was Dr. Payne, he was a really good doctor He was my shrink for a long time, but then he had moved and I'm thankful that he chose my current shrink. Last year when I went to the crisis center in the paperwork the doctors filled out. I listed him as someone who would listen to me. My doctor said he sounded very selfish. I really have to stop thinking about it. I always did hold the studio time as a something very special and something magical. We were suppose to create Lee's Song we discussed it many times. The Epilogue was something he was supposed to be involved with and he showed zero interest. On musixmatch I see how he's been putting out new music out pretty much since Pandemic and the latest new band is putting out so much new content and all his content has incomplete music metadata.

I can't believe that September is already half way over. So I've had lots on my mind. I've mentioned the drama of friend/producer and the mess that has been going on. I've mentioned musixmatch and he still hasn't claimed the page. Last week when I was looking at my music on tidal I came across yet another new band with alot of music. Then I just thought about how he left me in the dust, the projects that we were going to work on. Then I'm looking at the credits of this music and I see he must really be up this new bandmates ass because he didn't take credit for everything. I've come to the point to where I am done. He only cares about himself, it's all a pretty shitty situation because I never did anything wrong. My feelings are hurt but these feelings of anger mixed in are not a nice feeling.

So on Facebook 8 years ago I posted about it being the opening night of The Rebel Heart Tour. I can't believe 8 years have went by. It's hard to believe how much has changed in my life since then. 8 years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship with a real asshole. I remember taking my exfriend/producer to see the Rebel Heart Tour in Inglewood at the Forum. Then I remember getting bitched out after the concert and being accused of all kinds of things from the asshole. It wasn't long after that when I found out that he was cheating on me. 16 years wasted with a closetcase who never gave a shit about me. I took that loser to see the Mdna Tour. Now in 2023 I'm single and I no longer speak with my friend. Him and his wife were suppose to be my best friends and they both ended up stabbing me in the back. What shocks me is that she turned out to be a real ***CENSORED*** and her husband didn't have the balls to speak to me in person. But it is what it is. I know that I was always a loyal and good friend. I have receipts to prove it. I also have the receipts to show that they weren't good friends. It's a shame but that's life.

So today I showed my mom that text message from my 'friend' regarding me not getting permission from her about to take her daughter to see Madonna. My mom was in a state of disbelief. I also read her follow-up response and it irritated me. I have known her for 20 years and the last 5 + she has said and done things that are pretty shitty and I accepted her lame apologies. I take medication for my bipolar and ptsd issues and when she said I needed to detox from my medication, I listened to her bullshit and how I 'took things the wrong way' then when I went through a horrible break up instead of being supportive she sent me a message that started off with 'I don't mean to be rude' So my kind gesture of taking her daughter to see Madonna 'still needs to be talked about' well I don't want to speak to her and I'm going to tell her this was all a big mistake and I'm going to take back the invitation and she can tell her daughter why she's no longer invited. This was suppose to be something fun and exciting and instead ever since I got the ticket my 'friend' has made this to be something where I've felt bad. I know she didn't read my blog here because that she has made this matter out to be a mess other than a celebration. Her and her husband have taken my kindness and friendship for granted. Where else can you find someone who is going yo help you move and pack up two different houses free of charge. Instead of 'paying the Mexicans' to pull their weeds they had their fag friend who did it for free weed. I could go on an on with the favors I did and the two favors I asked of them which were denied. So yeah friendship is over.

So I'm happy to say that I got tickets for March 4th at the Forum. I don't know how it worked for everyone else out there, but the email from Ticketmaster came the night before the presale was gonna start, then there was an email that said to disregard previous email. About the same time I get an email saying the refund was going to be happening soon. So i was checking emails and my bank. When the email did come with the instructions for the presale It said we would be able to purchase up to 4 tickets. So I set an alarm for 9 am I titled it Madonna Madonna Madonna, So when I was in the virtual que in the morning, I was ready and expecting it to crash, freeze, blowup and not work. I'm watching as it says I'm in the que and there were 50 people ahead of me, I'm remaining calm and hoping everything would work. Then it says I was next, so I was able to get two tickets in the upper level in Row one in and it's view is facing the front stage in the middle. These seat was better than my previous. It was around the same price. I was able to use the 4 payment plan for the tickets. So since all this happened at the last moment, my previous blog said I was planning to take my producer's daughter and 'soul sister's daughter. for her birthday. Well I sent her a text and I said I got her a ticket to the Celebration Tour! I was pretty excited and so relieved it worked out smoothly. Maybe 10 minutes later I get a text message from my 'soul sister/bff' it read "Hey that's nice you're inviting K***** to go to see Madonna but I haven't talked to you in months and you need to ask me first before she can just go down the hill to a concert. Thanks anyway" EXCUSE ME? I was very insulted by the tone of this and instead of going off, I remained calm and kept it real and told the truth. In my response I said, that I hadn't planned this out and the information wasn't given out about the new date until the day the before. And to prove it I added my blog 'Not Deja Vu' on madonna.com where I am talking about getting another ticket at taking her. I don't know if she actually went to it and read it. I haven't heard from my producer, and he would probably not remember but he had said it but, since I took him, his brother and his wife to see Madonna on different tours that his daughter should go. well like I said before, when i give my word I keep it and I don't break promises or get amnesia and forget about things. After that message I went on Twitch and livestreamed for 2 hours talking about this matter. It's pretty sad that these people who were my best friends are gaslighting extroardinares. So my producer deletes all my music and leaves me in the dust and my bff text message is beyond passive aggressive. I'm sorry I wanted to do something nice for your daughter. And a kicker to this story is I have a scar on my right hand from punching the dangerous ex bf who had assaulted me the ***CENSORED*** that drugged and raped me, he called her a ***CENSORED*** ***CENSORED*** and I punched him. I took her to see Confessions on opening night! She sent another message after that but I didn't read it. I really am taken aback with her response i would be lying if I said it didn't hurt my feelings.

Ok so first thing's first I got the email from ticketmaster today. So since from the beginning ticketmaster fucked up and I was only able to get one ticket. Then there was the anxiety of going alone to the show and the flood of emotions that have been going on. Then on my birthday june 24, I don't think Madonna thought she was gonna end up in the hospital. Going to the hospital sux. Thank goodness Madonna is still with us. My producer who I went with to rebel heart, and his brother to see Madame X and her mother to see confessions opening night. It was their daughters birthday yesterday. I have videos of her when she was just just a little girl and listening to Madonna on head phones but in the video she, In such excitement she says "I'm Blasting Madonna!" she turned 14 So it became clear that her birthday gift will be seeing Madonna's Celebration Tour. So that is what I'm planning to do. To all the Iconers who are now in the midst of dealing with ticketmaster drama. I hope and with the best for all and sending love to Madonna!

I'm blasting work ***CENSORED***!, it's tcket eve. This excitement is hard to put into words.

So I was just looking at ticketmaster since my show at the cryptoarena in L.A. was cancelled. I see new shows in Inglewood that will be going on sale on September 5, there is no presale time listed. So I'm kind of confused. Does that mean there isn't going to be one for fans who already had tickets? Or is it just going to be a big mess where everyone is scrambling to get tickets? Ticketmaster has all this mumbo jumbo that says if your show was postponed, rescheduled and says that the venue could be exchanging tickets. I know the show was 'canceled' but the shows that are now happening at the new venues were happening before but my tickets don't say anything else other than event canceled. So I really don't know what to expect. One thing for sure is that I'm sure there will be issues because ticketmaster is a mess. They may think that telling fans about secured links and dedicated fan tickets are all good but everyone knows that ticketmaster doesn't work.

So l just read the news about the new dates scheduled. I'm a little confused about what is going on now. It's making my head hurt, so dates are rescheduled and they are gonna refund the ticket and then I have the opportunity to purchase it again. Huh? I'm sorry but ticketmaster and the links or whatever they are going to be giving out just sounds like it's gonna be a shitshow, it's a known fact that ticketmaster and all the secure, verified codes always have a problem. So even if we already had a ticket it's getting refunded and we have have to do it again. And ticketmaster is going to 'make sure we will get a seat that will be like what our previous ticket was. This is some bullshit, When I got that ticket, ticketmaster was having issues. It would only let me purchase one ticket and then it said you had the option to pay later, but that didn't work. So I don't know about this. I saw some people on IG were not happy with what was going on. I was thinking, the tickets were being honored but this getting refunded and then having a 'chance' to purchase a ticket again. Personally with this news, I think Madonna should cancel this tour and focus on her health. I think it's too soon for her to go on a world tour when she was in the hospital in June. She needs to focus on her healing and when she's had rest she should come with a whole new set of dates. I think it would be best to start fresh. So everything will be fresh.

Well I was watching Lizzo's Big Grrrls, I'm never been into Lizzo, I really didn't have any opinion about her but this scandal with her dancers and the sexual harrassment is pretty shocking. The banana thing is pretty disturbing, what I found just as disturbing was footage of Lizzo doing some interview and she was talking about wanting to go to that club in Amsterdam where they do that banana thing, and she was so excited talking about it and that did not look good and then there was when she thought that her postmates delivery person 'stole' her food and she put put this chick on blast and posted her name and her photo on twitter and she said she was lucky she 'didn't fight anymore' YIKES is all I have to say. So the title of this blog 'Goodbye Felecia' isn't aimed at Lizzo, it is at my 'former friend/producer' I've wrote about this whole matter regarding him deleting my music and musixmatch. He was also the person who I came out to and a friend for over 20 years. I even took him to see the Rebel Heart tour. So when Madonna was in the hospital and he didn't send me any message talking about her. In the last 7 months I have gotten 3 messages, there has been some emails but. But the messages were regarding trump getting indicted and Fran Drescher's speech. But the last text message he sent, he said he was gonna stop by and hang out and tell me about 'spilled tea' My niece was having her birthday party and he had brought his daughter for the party, but then came back and picked her up and the pinata hadn't been smashed nor had the birthday cake been done. Then my sister asks me if he was coming back, I said I had no clue, she then proceeds to tell me what he was talking about. It was about one of his band member's moving and that his wife had cheated on him and he was devastated, she also mentioned that something about 'cosplay' was involved. I know this person he's talking about and i've heard him talking alot of shit about him many times. So I wasn't surprised at all. It also didn't surprise me that he didn't send me message back and say that he wasn't going to come over and hang out. He's a bunch of hot air. But I thought to myself, that I doubt his friend who's 'devastated' would appreciate him talking about his personal business like it's a big joke. We've been friends so long and I've been there when he makes new friends or when he's kissing people's ass, then i've been there when he is no longer kissing their ass and is talking a bunch of shit. I never thought this before but I bet he's probably talked shit on me behind my back. I also think now, especially with how he put his name as the songwriter on all of my songs that he would probably steal my songs. I don't know how many times he said I should come to the band rehearsing, but it was all talk because they all came and went and he never informed me on when to come. Like I've said, I wrote all my songs myself, nobody else participated in writing them. I've done the uploading of songs and the steps are pretty clear. On musixmatch his profile for his music is still not verified, because on all my music all the songs that he worked on I've made sure that I properly have given credit to him, even though his behavior and loyalty are pretty lousy. But I just don't lie, so he has the producer credit for all the songs that he did. I even gave him credit for the bell in 'little' It's funny how he's the musician but all of his music has incomplete or incorrect music metadata, I'm trying to get all mine correct. All of my music I've uploaded the lyrics and I've translated all my songs into Spanish as well, on musixmatch he has like 3 different names he's put music under and multiple bands and all of the music from all his endeavors have no lyrics and no credit information. I'm talking totally blank! So it doesn't really make sense and it definitely isn't helping his music. I've known this motherfucker for over 20 years and it was last year when it was my day for early studio time that I knew something was going on. When my studio session was cut short because he had an appointment to get his haircut. I was like what is going on. I also suspect that he might be on something. He's always been a selfish person and he's always thought he was the hottest shit on earth but. There is something going on. And after this last deal with his message and hanging out and then he doesn't. I'm not interested anymore, I think this friendship has run it's course. I'm not going to beg someone to talk to me or hang out with me. I don't care if he joins musixmatch, he wiped my music and threw me under the bus and left me in the dust. We were supposed to be making music, but he's making music with new bands, and old bands. I have a new song coming out on August 5, 'Lee's Song' it's a demo, and it doesn't have the lyrics in it. Earlier this month I released some demo's of Lee's Song, was born on the ukelele but on the piano it's dramatic and silly. So this demo has one of my favorite piano demo and the ukelele mixed in. I don't have the computer programs and the music studio like he has. (Note: I helped build the studio with his father) His Dad was a good guy, one of the coolest people I ever met. One of the last times I was in the studio, there was this piece of art his Dad had made and it was underneath some boxes and it was all dusty. I would of been displaying it, he was embarrassed or it. It also didn't have a dollar value.

So this friday my sister are going to see Tori Amos at the Greek Theater in L.A. when we went and saw her last June, we both it was the first time we had went out without mask since the whole coronavirus pandemic had happened. For me having the coronavirus was a walk in the park. The first couple days I had a bad headache and had body aches, but after that all I did was sleep. And let me say last year was a horrible year for me. I went to the crisis center because my mental health was a mess and I was in the darkest place I had ever been before and i had been having such a hard time getting sleep. I was having these awful panic attacks at night that were scary. But while I had coronavirus I didn't have any of those horrible panic attacks I was too tired. I just slept and I felt exhausted from sleeping all day. My sister on the other hand, ended up giving coronavirus to her family and since she has asthma she had an awful and painful time, so as messed up as it sounds, I liked when I had coronavirus, it was pretty much feeling exhausted and sleeping for two weeks. I know i'm pretty lucky because it killed alot of people and alot of people really suffered. But for me I had been having horrible gout attacks and my mental state was a mess so coronavirus let me get some needed sleep. So one thing that I am kind of concerned with is my vision has really gotten kinda of scary in the last couple years and my night vision is not what it use to be. I prefer not to drive at night these days, and the the last time I did drive down in L.A. it was in March and what is concerning is that the drive home when I was almost home was the worst of it. I live in a city that doesn't have the most street lights or reflectors in the road so I have to really pay attention to the road. This getting older shit isn't much much fun. I've driven these roads so many times and now to have a nervous feeling over driving at night is a pain in the ass. It's times like this when I wish I could have a driver. Anyways about the concert. I got tickets for 25.00 and they were in the A section, that was a pretty great price, because ticketmaster only had C section seats and they were going for $50. We have seen Tori multiple times in concert, she's always amazing, there are some songs that I've yet to hear her play live. Crucify is one that I would really like to see her do. This is the Ocean to Ocean Tour and if she would sing her song '1000 Oceans' It's a possibility that i would get emotional and start crying. After I got dumped I wrote a letter to him and I drew a picture and on the back I had wrote the lyrics to the song on the back. I don't think I've listened to that song since, so if she sings it, that could be intense. It'll be more intense than taking selfie at a Miranda Lambert concert.

I've blogged about musixmatch and the huge falling out with my friend/producer. Since he's the rock star and has been in the business so long and has put out alot of music. Well he still hasn't claimed the page and therefore hasn't verified that he was the producer, guitar player. The other people he has 'collaborated' with none of these artists have verified any of their music. All the songs come up with a message saying no lyrics available, and it doesn't have any information. Well I guess the big rock star doesn't know what music metadata is, I didn't know what it was until I've been syncing my music I've learned that music metadata is very important. Aside from giving credit and any royalties made. All the metadata on the credits will put it where it can be found and discovered. Music with no metadata is just like blank files that get lost. They say that it needs to be the same information so it all goes together and it should match. So I've spent the past two days on distrokid and i've added information to the credits. So me the amateur 'recording artist' has all my shit filled. I even have the mood of the songs attached. All of his music and there is ALOT of it they all come up with "No lyrics submitted" and there isn't any information on any of them. He was the one telling me all about, some code on your songs that you have to know to get any royalties. well It's all called music metadata and none of his songs, with all the bands he's had, past and present have complete metadata. I had been trying to tell him about this since February and he had no interest, even when he said he 'promised' to look at musixmatch. It was obvious that he was not interested in anything I had to say so I'm doing my own thing and he's going to continue to asskiss his latest music collaborator until he gets annoyed or bored with them. I've known him for over 20 years i've seen him when he raves about someone and how great they are and then he talks all this shit about them. So I've seen this before, but I was never involved with music before, It was him who got me started becuase I just wanted him to help me make a song and then he said I had enough to put an album out. So it's pretty funny that after all that It was him who wiped my music and threw me under bus. Bozo

My Dearest Madonna, first and foremost I hope u are feeling good. You need to heal and get healthy. Postpone, the tour. Your real fans want to see u well. If u have to cancel the tour. I will still be a fan. You are the Queen!

So on June 24, my birthday Madonna was in the Intensive care unit. That really scares me, I don't like reading that she was unresponsive, it sends fear to my bones. Madonna has been my favorite artist and my idol all of my life. I don't even want to think of a world without her in it. It would absolutely crush me. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I hope she is here with us for a long time. Just even writing about this bothers me and I don't like it. Madonna is a force to be reckoned with, she's strong and she's also human. And human's unfortunately aren't invinceable. I wonder why I'm the only online user right now. I know everyone else is probably on some kind of other social media but I really would like to see more Iconers more active on here. I know the forum has active users I use to be more active in the forums but not very much these days. Maybe I should try and get more active.