Madonna,

A lot has changed...

These few days...

As you may have quest...

I've completed the 3rd staged...

So I'm a bit more relaxed now...

Contact can be allowed again...

First real visit...

Back to work again...

But I'm terrified...

So much has happend...

I've hurt people...

Because they have hurt me too...

I have an import talk this week...

With one of my colleagues...

She is the most important one...

Our conversation decites (sorry) my futher at my work...

I know I should have faith...

But it's difficult...

I've hurt her...deeply...

Her own history...is involved...

Can I handle her story...

Above on all the pain...

I'm feeling already...

Will it not...destroy me...

As you can see...

The 4th is playing right now...

I'm more relaxed right now...

Thank God for that...I'm so tired...

A summary of my days...

Will follow this week...

But first I've got to face reality...

The damaged I've done...during my beautiful process...

I hope that I will hear from you soon...

I hope that you will support me...only this ones...

You know it's not the money I'm after...

But I am in real deep shit right now...

Would you please support me on this one...an one time gift...

I need you right now...

The distance is to far...

But there are more other ways to help...you know that...

I'm really looking forward...

To have real contact with you...

I think I know...that it will happen one day...

When the time is finally right...

I have to be pations (sorry,wrongly written)

I'm learning that already...

God chooses a very difficult way for me to learn that...

Yep..my strongest point..and weakest point..my sex-appeal..

So I'm sorry Madonna...

I can't watch your other videoclip from your confession tour..

Because of my emotion connection with you right now...

Your sex-appeal in the videoclip...will affect mine...

Damn...I don't want this side of the connection...

But it is the balance...

I have to learn...to close the connection...

Maybe next week...when my colleague and I...had good talk...

Madonna...

I will write you...and your fans again...

But firts...I have to take control...

Over my disturbed life right now..have to clean things up..

I wish you a good week...

And hope...that you have also time...to relax...

I also hope...that you will show you gratitude to me...

I have influenzed your world..when do I deserve the favour..

Wish you well...

Lovely greeting,

Rebby

Hello Madonna

I don't know how to start after such a long time.

Things didn't work out as planned.

The unjust in my life.

I couldn't handle it anymore.

I got some proffesional help for a while.

But picking up my old life isn't that easy.

There all still the people I've hurt in august.

Some of them are my friends again (thank god).

But there are still a few who are silence to me.

I've also lost the spiritual connection, because of the medication I have to take right now and it sucks.

I'm planning to quit when the time is right again.

But for now...I have no choise.

I wish I could rewind these past few months and take back the things I've said.

On the upsite...I'm writing poetry again.

Maybe you have to sink low...to get your inspiration back.

Picking up my old life, while I'm feeling lonely, isn't easy.

But most of all...I miss the spiritual connection.

Will that come back, when I quit the medication?

On the bright side...now I can watch the confession tour without having your sex appeal affecting mine.

And I have the time to read your public story.

I hope everything is alright with you, and that your not overwelhemd by to much work.

Lovely Greetings,

Rebby

Madonna,

Below my latest poetry in English.

It's about all the people who won't contact me.

Powerless

I feel powerless

What can I say

What can I do

What can I pray (for)

I feel powerless

Nothings seems right

No matter what I do

No matter what I wright

I feel powerless

Do I have to back away

Do I let the silence go on

Do I just have to pray

I feel powerless

The silence do I let that be

The silence caught in question marks

The silence is killing me

I feel powerless

Questions about what they want

Questions about how they are

Questions about our bound.

I feel powerless

I can not sleep

I can not stop wrighting

I can't cause it cuts to deep

I feel powerless

I miss you all

I miss our bounds

But I'm talking to a wall

I feel powerless

What can I say

What can I do

What can I pray (for)

Rebecca 17-02-2015